Gay man who adopted a child: Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am thrilled to announce that this thread is boring.
We've come a long way.
Congrats and best of luck.

I have to agree. Completely boring - and so exited about it!

Best of luck with your daughter, moving on to something more exciting like "Stokes v. Lamb"

[Anonymous]

Do you live in DC or the 'burbs?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are about to start the process to adopt.

How long did you have to wait after your home study to get your daughter?
Where, how, how much advertising did you do? Internet, set up your own website
Did you use an agency at all?
Any other advice for those of us just getting started?

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you live in DC or the 'burbs?

DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is so little that celebrating a gotcha day doesn't mean much to her yet, but I definitely treat us to celebrate her making me a dad and us a family, and me keeping a human being alive.

Guess you couldn't quite shake that Southern Baptist upbringing entirely!

[Anonymous]

Are you careful to hide your porn stash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you careful to hide your porn stash?

Lol, yes.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Are you thinking of adopting another child or are you OK with her being an only child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are you? Are you thinking of adopting another child or are you OK with her being an only child?

I'm 31. As a single guy I won't adopt another. Her being an only child is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Is your extended family involved with your DD? Is DD the first grandchild?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are about to start the process to adopt.

How long did you have to wait after your home study to get your daughter?
Where, how, how much advertising did you do? Internet, set up your own website
Did you use an agency at all?
Any other advice for those of us just getting started?

Thanks.

I did a private adoption, which was financed by my grandmother. I did not advertise at all. I met with a family lawyer, signed paperwork allowing him to do a background check, my grandmother paid him, and then waited to hear that someone wanted to meet with me. The whole process took about a year and a half.

The only thing I can advise is to make sure the adoption is kosher. It's not only in other countries where women are coerced into giving up babies they want to keep. As much as I wanted a child, there is no way I would have accepted one without having gotten to meet the birth mother and make sure it was really her decision to make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your extended family involved with your DD? Is DD the first grandchild?

My daughter was not the first great-grand daughter in the family. My family pretty much disowned me when I came out in early high school, with the exception of my grandmother (who, had it not been for her family money that they were all hoping to inherit, would have been disowned herself for supporting me). So no, my family is not at all involved with us. Our family is the friends I've made since moving away.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that about your family. Your grandmother sounds wonderful though, and like a terrific mother/female figure to look up to for your DD. Are you able to see her very much and/or otherwise maintain a relationship between her and your DD?

[Anonymous]

PP here and I asked about your extended family...

are you in a relationship? Do you have time to go out on dates? Are you actively searching for a partner?

...and, are you hot? You sound very attractive, but then again, I find nurturing types to be sexy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry to hear that about your family. Your grandmother sounds wonderful though, and like a terrific mother/female figure to look up to for your DD. Are you able to see her very much and/or otherwise maintain a relationship between her and your DD?

We moved here after she died. She was the only reason I was staying.