Gay man who adopted a child: Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

Congratulations and best of luck to you! Why are you posting on DCUM? You sound way too normal.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHD. Do you know any gay SAHD's? So far I haven't run across them. I wonder if they are isolated during the day. I am glad I found other SAHD friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a SAHD. Do you know any gay SAHD's? So far I haven't run across them. I wonder if they are isolated during the day. I am glad I found other SAHD friends.

I don't know any SAHDs, gay or straight. Highly doubt the gay SAHDs are isolated though.

[Anonymous]

Do you give her juice?
How long did you rear face the car seat?
Where do you stand on corn?

Details! Man, I need details, before I can judge you!!

[Anonymous]

OP - Congratulations!
I was adopted as an infant, by a white couple. I am not white. My (adoptive, younger) sibling is not white, either.
Kudos to you for talking to DD about adoption from the very beginning. My parents did this and honestly? It's just part of who I am, now. I think this helped me avoid many potential "issues" related to the adoption. Do you celebrate Gotcha Day (day when I "gotcha")? It's the best - and as an adult, deep down it actually means more to me than my birthday, b/c it's the day that really made me "Me."
Do you plan to adopt other children in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you give her juice?
How long did you rear face the car seat?
Where do you stand on corn?

Details! Man, I need details, before I can judge you!!

Lol, okay.
Juice - at Sunday brunch, yes. She has discovered tomato juice and likes that, as well as orange juice. Oh, you want to judge? Here's something: I give her the celery from my Bloody Mary sometimes. The other six days of the week she gets water.
Carseat - age two, though we rarely drive. In cabs she's car seat-less, and most of the time when we travel it's to cities.
Corn: I have no stance on corn. It's a starch and doesn't count as a vegetable in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Congratulations!
I was adopted as an infant, by a white couple. I am not white. My (adoptive, younger) sibling is not white, either.
Kudos to you for talking to DD about adoption from the very beginning. My parents did this and honestly? It's just part of who I am, now. I think this helped me avoid many potential "issues" related to the adoption. Do you celebrate Gotcha Day (day when I "gotcha")? It's the best - and as an adult, deep down it actually means more to me than my birthday, b/c it's the day that really made me "Me."
Do you plan to adopt other children in the future?

I don't plan to adopt more kids. I think man-on-man is the best way to parent (no puns intended). I would not be opposed to marrying someone with kids, or getting married and adopting one more. But while it's just me, it's just her.

My daughter is so little that celebrating a gotcha day doesn't mean much to her yet, but I definitely treat us to celebrate her making me a dad and us a family, and me keeping a human being alive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give her juice?
How long did you rear face the car seat?
Where do you stand on corn?

Details! Man, I need details, before I can judge you!!

Lol, okay.
Juice - at Sunday brunch, yes. She has discovered tomato juice and likes that, as well as orange juice. Oh, you want to judge? Here's something: I give her the celery from my Bloody Mary sometimes. The other six days of the week she gets water.
Carseat - age two, though we rarely drive. In cabs she's car seat-less, and most of the time when we travel it's to cities.
Corn: I have no stance on corn. It's a starch and doesn't count as a vegetable in my book.

Can we be friends? You sound normal.

[Anonymous]

Do you worry that your daughter will eventually be bullied by other kids for having a gay parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you worry that your daughter will eventually be bullied by other kids for having a gay parent?

Yes, but I worry about it less than I did when we lived in the South. There's a reason we moved to a major metropolitan city. I think she'll deal with ignorant questions and assumptions more than outright bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you give her juice?
How long did you rear face the car seat?
Where do you stand on corn?

Details! Man, I need details, before I can judge you!!

Lol, okay.
Juice - at Sunday brunch, yes. She has discovered tomato juice and likes that, as well as orange juice. Oh, you want to judge? Here's something: I give her the celery from my Bloody Mary sometimes. The other six days of the week she gets water.
Carseat - age two, though we rarely drive. In cabs she's car seat-less, and most of the time when we travel it's to cities.
Corn: I have no stance on corn. It's a starch and doesn't count as a vegetable in my book.

Can we be friends? You sound normal.

That depends. Let's look at your outfit, specifically your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Do you think there's something remarkable about this?

Also, what kind of pancakes does she like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am thrilled to announce that this thread is boring.
We've come a long way.
Congrats and best of luck.

Love it!!

Are you religious? Do you take her to church or temple?

I was raised Southern Baptist, which you may know, is not a fan of the gays to put things lightly. I've thought about seeking out a UU church but go back and fort on it. On one hand, religion was such an important part of my life growing up. Basically all our structure came from that. On the other, it's left such a bitter taste in my mouth and I seem to be doing fine without it.

We were in New York last year days before Christmas and I took her into a church during non-service hours. Just so she could see how pretty it was.

If you decide to check out churches, check out St Columba's Episcopal in Tenleytown. I know there is at least one other single gay adoptive Dad. He has boys, though! They do go to Sunday school, youth group, all the regular stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think there's something remarkable about this?

Also, what kind of pancakes does she like?

Remarkable? No.
Different from most families? Yes.

If she's eating pancakes she likes "toddler pancakes" which are about the size of the palm of your hand. Sometimes I'll make those with a few baby pancakes that are the size of quarters. Mostly though, she likes crepes better than pancakes.

[Anonymous]

Cheers to you - you are so brave!!! Your daughter is lucky to have such a wonderful father who has moved heaven and earth to love her. My best wishes to you both!!!