Gay man who adopted a child: Ask me Anything

[Anonymous]

Single mom by choice here - just wishing you the best and congrats!!

[Anonymous]

Would you be more open to having a manny over a nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you be more open to having a manny over a nanny?

Not sure? I'd be open to that, but like most parents just want the best person for the job, male or female.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single mom by choice here - just wishing you the best and congrats!!

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

What are some issues that you deal with wrt to being an adoptive parent that others might be surprised to hear about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you concerned when dating that it may be someone who might be a potential child molester, as is the case with some single moms who are cautious about bringing men they are dating around their kids?

Not really. It's probably in the back of every parent's mind to worry about that, but I am a pretty good judge of character, plus don't bring dates around my daughter.

I think this is wise. My cousin who was a single mom did this. (Not b/c of the potential of a child molester.) She didn't want her kid to get attached in case it didn't work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are some issues that you deal with wrt to being an adoptive parent that others might be surprised to hear about?

It's hard to know - there are so many different types of people in the world that it's hard to know what will surprise people. Having said that I am always surprised when people (seemingly unknowingly) suggest that I am second class by asking why someone would choose me to adopt their child when there are so many married male/female couples trying to adopt. I honestly don't think they even realize they're insulting me most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you concerned when dating that it may be someone who might be a potential child molester, as is the case with some single moms who are cautious about bringing men they are dating around their kids?

Not really. It's probably in the back of every parent's mind to worry about that, but I am a pretty good judge of character, plus don't bring dates around my daughter.

I think this is wise. My cousin who was a single mom did this. (Not b/c of the potential of a child molester.) She didn't want her kid to get attached in case it didn't work out.

It's getting attached, it's what she'll think about there being a revolving door of men parading through the house, all of it.

[Anonymous]

Is there a mother figure in her life?
Do you know why she was put up for adoption, birth parents story ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a mother figure in her life?
Do you know why she was put up for adoption, birth parents story ?

No, there's not a mother figure. When we lived in the South, my grandmother watched the baby during the day while I worked in the beginning. Then when she got mobile it was too much for her.

The birth parents story is that she became pregnant, 7 months in he dumped her, and she didn't want to go it alone.

[Anonymous]

What made you decide that you wanted to adopt a child in the first place? Just thinking about single parenthood, especially of a baby/toddler, makes me exhausted! More power to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What made you decide that you wanted to adopt a child in the first place? Just thinking about single parenthood, especially of a baby/toddler, makes me exhausted! More power to you!

I've always wanted to be a dad. Whenever I imagined being a parent it was always to a son, not a daughter, but this is how it worked out. When my last serious relationship crumbled I knew waiting for the next one wasn't the way I wanted to go.

[Anonymous]

Did you name her? How did you decide on a name?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you name her? How did you decide on a name?

Yes, I named her. I gave her a middle name that starts with her birth mother's first name that is a variation on my grandmother's name. Then picked a first name that seemed to fit her. So far, so good.

[Anonymous]

Is the birth mom involved or plans to be involved in DD's life?