s/o - Do you lose respect for someone if you've found out he or she has had an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

Not PP you are quoting. Your lack of perspective speaks volumes about you.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Who am I to judge?

[Anonymous]

"It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you."

Anyone who thinks affairs are about sex is incredibly myopic. Most of the time it is not about the sex, the sex is a byproduct. Would you cut off a freind for an EMOTIONAL affair? If so, again, a terrible friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

+1

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

Actually I am not a cheater. I do, however, know the difference between violent crime against a child and consensual sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

Actually I am not a cheater. I do, however, know the difference between violent crime against a child and consensual sex.

+100 Anybody who equates Dottie with being friends with an adult who makes a (perhaps bad) decision about consensual sex between adults is the affair equivalent of a homophobe, i.e., someone overcompensating because they don't know what to do about their own urges to stray. A lot of the people posting here (or maybe it's only one or two motivated sock puppets) remind me of the hypocritical moms in "Little Children."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

This is a touchy subject for you PP, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you."

Anyone who thinks affairs are about sex is incredibly myopic. Most of the time it is not about the sex, the sex is a byproduct. Would you cut off a freind for an EMOTIONAL affair? If so, again, a terrible friend.

My marriage was wrecked by a former "friend" who had an emotional affair with my DH. I had a four year old and a baby and a full time job, and she was spending (it turns out) all day on the phone with my husband, having lunch with him, emailing him.... We never recovered and got divorced.

She is a horrible person. And you think that just because my husband (probably) never put his dick in her vagina that she deserves to have friends? If your friend was fooling around (physically or not) with someone who had an INFANT at home, you really think that is a quality human being? Who deserves to be your friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it's easy to judge but you haven't walked in that person's shoes. You ultimately have no idea what their marriage was like, what went on behind closed doors, what their personal issues are from childhood, etc. I initially had different feelings towards a friend who had cheated and then when I got more of the full story realized I was really out of line for judging. You just don't know. You don't know another person's demons and issues.

So true.

In agreement, here. Life is rarely black and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. I would end contact and the friendship immediately.

This reply can't be serious? End the friendship over something that had absolutely NOTHING to do with you? Give me a break. You must have been a terribly non-supportive friend in the first place.

It isn't about it having to do with you. It is about character, values and morality. It is about realizing that someone puts their sexual desires ahead of their care or concern for their children. It is about realizing who someone is behind who they portray to you.

Are you really saying your friends could do anything (to their kids, spouses, strangers) and as long as it didn't have anything to do with you you would stay supportive. Is your name Dottie by any chance?

Protecting your spouse who raped countless young boys is not in the same universe as refusing to break off a friendship with someone who had sex outside of his/her marriage. That you would even equate the two speaks volumes of your warped sense of morals.

You are a cheater, you aren't going to get why it is a character flaw to have sex outside of marriage. A narcissistic frame of mind is likely clouding your view of how this isn't all / only about you. Maybe your kids once they go through therapy can enlighten you. Keep giggling with your girlfriends behind your spouses backs about your infidelity, the friends you have who do this are pretty much likely cheaters as well.

PP, I"m guessing you have been cheated on?. With that sanctimonious attitude of yours, I can't imagine why