Q to the ladies: What gets you turned on?
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Anonymous
That’s like saying what’s the big deal about cooking dinner every night? Cooking is fun. The answer is that I’m sick of it. I’m sick of finding somewhere fun for our family to go every year and figuring out what to do when we get there. There must be somewhere on Gods green earth that interests him enough to plan one single trip. But it doesn’t seem so. I left one year totally up to him. and we went nowhere. |
Anonymous
lol. Do you think you have some secret about turning women on? If so, tell us. |
Anonymous
If it’s so fun and easy then he can do it |
Anonymous
Good for you? Some of us have/had husbands who don’t take care of anything, and are jerks on top of that. My ex literally did nothing (I could tell stories that would raise your hair on end) but I actually enjoyed sex with him until he started getting physically aggressive. Then it was nope, nope, not ever again. |
Anonymous
It might be okay if my husband was like this guys wife, and just said, “it’s always fun!” Instead, he gets all stressed out if it costs “too much,” and then gets all upset that the place we stay isn’t that nice and the activities aren’t that great if we do it on the cheap. It does not feel fun. |
Anonymous
If you’re sick of planning travel, and he doesn’t want to do it, then just don’t travel. Or spend the extra money to have something pre-planned. Many husbands are like this. Mine could not really plan a nice trip, it’s just not in his wheelhouse. But you’re linking sex with something neither of you wants to do, then you’re just ruining sex too. A lot of marriages have continual conflicts and stuck points that don’t really ever resolve. If you hinge your sexual life on those conflicts then you will ruin your sex life. |
Anonymous
This. Not only don't some DH plan anything (trips, restaurants, vacations), they complain when "they're along for the ride". On our last vacation to the beach on the West Coast I had arranged everything, an apartment to stay and of course I was cooking. One morning when we had plans going to a National Park, I had gotten the kids ready (elementary age), fed them, packed snacks etc. and was standing with them at the door ready to go. While I was getting the kids ready, he had nothing to do, so he decided to go on the beach for a run. He didn't think of taking stuff to the car, look up the route, no, nothing. So I was standing next to the car with kids while he was "running on the beach". I called him. Nothing. I left with the kids to the trip as I had planned. There was no end to the complaints when we returned in the evening. That was the last trip I planned. It was 8 years ago. We have gone nowhere since. |
Anonymous
If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he is a jerk, then that’s fair. If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he doesn’t plan trips or dates and he hasn’t really done that stuff before, that’s not fair to him. My husband and I don’t really have the time for a romantic “thing” every week, but I would certainly want to have sex more than once a week. If you generally love your husband and he’s generally reasonable, you have to unlink your sexual desire from chores and unpleasant feelings. |
Anonymous
Oh dear, if you think I have been subtle, unspoken or passive about any of this, you're wrong. I have told DH repeatedly, he just doesn't hear (or doesn't want to hear). Or he agrees for a day to do things differently, but it doesn't last. Most men are selfish. You like to do what you like to do and to hell with everything else. You care about yourself the most. Including sex, it's about satisfying yourself. A lot of men cannot satisfy a woman. Which is why a lot are looking for submissive, so that the woman wouldn't demand much if anything at all. After all, how many men know that their woman got an orgasm every time? Most men have no idea. Normal women care about others and especially their children, it's biological. However, what you guys don't understand is that once menopause hits for women, meaning our childrearing years are over, we lose estrogen and become more like men. We become more selfish. So what do I need a marriage for after kids are gone with a man who only thinks of himself? |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
That sucks and I’m sorry. My husband definitely is “along for the ride” (he’s used that term) but he rarely complains unless he gets pinkeye, or injures his back or something like that. But not about what I’ve planned thank goodness! |
Anonymous
This is me 100%. I’ve been watching Outlander, which has countless sex scenes between two spectacularly gorgeous people, presented in a way that’s meant to be appealing to women, and I’m so bored by them. I’ve started fast forwarding half the time. Eventually I came to realize that it does nothing for me for the same reason that cooking shows do nothing for me. I just don’t get much from watching other people do stuff that’s meant to be enjoyed with your own senses. But touch me for 30 seconds or more, even in not-meant-to-be-sexy ways like spooning, and I’m immediately dying for more. |
Anonymous
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In my 40s I just get horny every few days.
But when I'm not inexplicably horny, I can be helped along by eye contact, leaning in close, smelling your natural scent, feeling a little boxed in by your presence, any kind of full body contact. |
Anonymous
Same. I don’t often just see a man and want to jump him (though that happens) but the more infuriating thing is going along my day and all of a sudden noticing a coworker’s forearms have gotten suddenly and inexplicably sexy. |
Anonymous
| Femmes wearing straps |