Q to the ladies: What gets you turned on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choreplay is king. Do some chores so that I am not tired and resentful of you when we get in bed. If I am I not cussing you out in my mind you have a better chance of getting laid.

I think that some men think this means that women literally get aroused by watching men do chores.

It’s more like having the chores done means that I can get into a headspace to get aroused if we start kissing and touching.

What if the guy always did his share of the chores? Would the woman's libido always be high(er)?

I have been married twice, and lived with another woman. I always split the chores in a mutually agreed upon way. I never noticed any correlation between completing a household task and my partner's horniness.

There might be a correlation but not the one you see. They were probably wiped out re-doing tasks you couldn't do right the first time.

There’s no winning once you’re married and have kids. She’s gotten what she wanted to accomplish out of you (wedding and kids). Now resentment builds and there’s no answer you can offer as a man that’s the right one. Young kids are hard and she resents you for it. She sure as hell doesn’t want you experiencing any pleasure in life. Its a subtle, unspoken and passive feeling that ranges from indifference to hate.

More troll posts and horse$hit.

I know many fathers who would be appalled at the PP’s false personal perceptions above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choreplay is king. Do some chores so that I am not tired and resentful of you when we get in bed. If I am I not cussing you out in my mind you have a better chance of getting laid.

False.

I wish this myth would die. Sure, if you’re a selfish partner I will never be in the mood but that is completely unrelated to what actually turns me on.

One other myth I wish would die is that women don’t really care about what their male partner looks like.

You know, this might be true for you, but it isn’t true for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Mid 40s and completely dependent on my cycle (not on any sort of hormonal BC). Right around ovulation DH just has to be in the same room with me and I’m ready. I can’t even take my kids to their sports practices during that time. Very well built coaches = very, very bad thoughts.

Rest of my cycle- don’t touch me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Choreplay is king. Do some chores so that I am not tired and resentful of you when we get in bed. If I am I not cussing you out in my mind you have a better chance of getting laid.

I think that some men think this means that women literally get aroused by watching men do chores.

It’s more like having the chores done means that I can get into a headspace to get aroused if we start kissing and touching.

What if the guy always did his share of the chores? Would the woman's libido always be high(er)?

I have been married twice, and lived with another woman. I always split the chores in a mutually agreed upon way. I never noticed any correlation between completing a household task and my partner's horniness.

There might be a correlation but not the one you see. They were probably wiped out re-doing tasks you couldn't do right the first time.

There’s no winning once you’re married and have kids. She’s gotten what she wanted to accomplish out of you (wedding and kids). Now resentment builds and there’s no answer you can offer as a man that’s the right one. Young kids are hard and she resents you for it. She sure as hell doesn’t want you experiencing any pleasure in life. Its a subtle, unspoken and passive feeling that ranges from indifference to hate.

I get what you're saying, but look at it from a woman's perspective. Before kids, a man spends time on her, takes her out, entertains etc. After kids, suddenly the man disappears, leaving the woman with kids and pets all for her to take care of. In the rare moments that the man shows up, instead of helping, he lines up to get some attention from the woman as well. The woman has already spent the day catering to the kids and pets, as they all want to eat, be entertained and taken care of. The woman feels as if she's an indentured servant whose job for the next 20 years is to do what anybody else in the household wants/needs, and not managing to do anything that SHE wants, as the time and money is not unlimited. As the time goes on, resentment builds. I for example have been married 20+ years with a dead bedroom AND my DH thinks once the last kid leaves for college, I'll start catering to HIM, including cooking, cleaning and s*x. He doesn't understand AT ALL that my life has bee unfulfilling for the past 20 years, that I've put my own desires on the backburner to be a good mother, and that I don't give a f*k about what he wants. Once the last kid has launched, I intend to do WHAT I WANT. After being selfish for 20+ years, there's literally nothing my DH could do that would turn me on, but he has no idea, because he literally doesn't see anything wrong. It's OK in his opinion that a woman spends her life catering to others, in fact he'd prefer it.

This response to my post definitely demonstrated my statement about it being a “subtle, unspoken and passive feeling that ranges from indifference to hate”.

I think that in good marriages, the spouses don’t lose themselves to being super-parents. If you want to have any marriage left after the kids leave for college you have to be a loving spouse first and be focused on hearing and meeting each other’s needs whether those needs are financial stability, household duty split, conversation, staying attractive or sex. Both spouses need to do this. Your marriage is actually the foundation of your childrens wellbeing.

All of this

[Anonymous]

I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and honestly, women’s sexuality is so nuanced and complex there’s really no one single thing that turns me on.

If I’m stressed and overwhelmed, nothing at all will turn me on. I need you to step in and help without needing a long list of instructions, give me a massage afterwards, and the next day I’ll be turned on.

But then I dated a guy like that, and while he was great, he physically wasn’t my type and I couldn’t get turned on no matter how hard I tried.

Then I dated a guy who could step up and who was smoking hot, but he was a dud in bed so I stopped getting turned on.

Then, you have to be sexy, but without being too forwardly sexual. If a guy I start dating gets sexual too soon, it’s a turn off. But if he’s never sexy, I lose interest. It’s a very fine line.

But now I’m hooking up with a guy who isn’t conventionally attractive, doesn’t help me (because he’s a hookup so I’m keeping him very separate from my personal life), but sexually he does exactly what I want all the time so I am massively turned on by him.

And then it varies from man to man. One guy can be super dominant in bed and it’ll drive me wild. Another guy will be sweet and caring in bed and it’ll also drive me wild because it fits our connection; if he tried to be dominant I would be turned off. Then sometimes it’s weird, like current hookup guy is so sweet, shy, reserved, and just adorable in everyday life but is a total daddy in bed.

So basically it’s all over the place. If I could find someone hot who can read my mind, that’d be great.

The good news is when it does align, I am insanely high drive and can’t get enough, and will do literally anything.

TLDR just read the bolded for what turns her on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:52 woman here. Good body, very confident, masculine. Take charge.

Take charge of life generally. Look around at what needs to be done and take care of it. Make the dinner reservations, book the babysitter, make the meal plan and order the groceries. Notice the sheets need changing and take care of that. Book the vacation for the family.

Yes, amen. I do literally all of this, and I'm tired of it.

Plus, the lack of initiative or opinions from my DH saps my desire. I'd be much more turned on by, "Let's go to [restaurant] on Friday. I'll make a reservation. And how about a drink first at [bar]?" It has been YEARS since my husband has made a plan.

That would be so amazing!
I have an acquaintance (kids friends mom) who dropped that she and her husband were going alone for a long weekend. “Where are you going?” “Somewhere in Mexico.” “You’re leaving in two days and you don’t know where you’re going?” “Some resort I guess. My husband books these things. I’m just along for the ride. It always ends up being fun.” I was so freaking envious I could have thrown something.

Why? What is the big deal about planning a trip? That’s the most fun part.

Some of you just want to be pissed off at your husbands.

If it’s so much fun, why don’t men do it? Why do people hire it out?

My husband doesn’t do planning for trips. He doesn’t plan fun dates. He doesn’t give me gifts.

But he makes me coffee and breakfast in the morning. He takes care of the cars, he takes care of the dog, he takes care of the trash. He does other chores too.

In other words he does his share. But if I waited until he planned a trip or did something “romantic” we would never have sex again.

Good for you? Some of us have/had husbands who don’t take care of anything, and are jerks on top of that.

My ex literally did nothing (I could tell stories that would raise your hair on end) but I actually enjoyed sex with him until he started getting physically aggressive. Then it was nope, nope, not ever again.

If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he is a jerk, then that’s fair.

If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he doesn’t plan trips or dates and he hasn’t really done that stuff before, that’s not fair to him. My husband and I don’t really have the time for a romantic “thing” every week, but I would certainly want to have sex more than once a week. If you generally love your husband and he’s generally reasonable, you have to unlink your sexual desire from chores and unpleasant feelings.

It's not about being romantic. It's about taking charge and getting things done, on his own initiative. That would be so awesome.

Amen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

You should be having sex with only one man - your husband.

Please repent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

You should be having sex with only one man - your husband.

Please repent

I see this resonated with you.

[Anonymous]

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and honestly, women’s sexuality is so nuanced and complex there’s really no one single thing that turns me on.

If I’m stressed and overwhelmed, nothing at all will turn me on. I need you to step in and help without needing a long list of instructions, give me a massage afterwards, and the next day I’ll be turned on.

But then I dated a guy like that, and while he was great, he physically wasn’t my type and I couldn’t get turned on no matter how hard I tried.

Then I dated a guy who could step up and who was smoking hot, but he was a dud in bed so I stopped getting turned on.

Then, you have to be sexy, but without being too forwardly sexual. If a guy I start dating gets sexual too soon, it’s a turn off. But if he’s never sexy, I lose interest. It’s a very fine line.

But now I’m hooking up with a guy who isn’t conventionally attractive, doesn’t help me (because he’s a hookup so I’m keeping him very separate from my personal life), but sexually he does exactly what I want all the time so I am massively turned on by him.

And then it varies from man to man. One guy can be super dominant in bed and it’ll drive me wild. Another guy will be sweet and caring in bed and it’ll also drive me wild because it fits our connection; if he tried to be dominant I would be turned off. Then sometimes it’s weird, like current hookup guy is so sweet, shy, reserved, and just adorable in everyday life but is a total daddy in bed.

So basically it’s all over the place. If I could find someone hot who can read my mind, that’d be great.

The good news is when it does align, I am insanely high drive and can’t get enough, and will do literally anything.

JFC

Good luck everybody 👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

Sounds hot! But feet rubs or ass slapping? They seem totally unrelated and a very different approach to foreplay. I think for both you would need to communicate this directly to your partner. I think a lot women would find slapping their ass a turn off (maybe while the act has started a few would be ok) and while they would appreciate foot rub, don't see it as a sexual act. Knowing this, most guys probably wouldn't engage in either to get you in the mood, unless you directed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

Sounds hot! But feet rubs or ass slapping? They seem totally unrelated and a very different approach to foreplay. I think for both you would need to communicate this directly to your partner. I think a lot women would find slapping their ass a turn off (maybe while the act has started a few would be ok) and while they would appreciate foot rub, don't see it as a sexual act. Knowing this, most guys probably wouldn't engage in either to get you in the mood, unless you directed them.

Trust my I told what I liked. I prefer a really great spanking session as a foreplay. But a lot of men are either scared or have very weak hands unable to grab my a..ss properly. Takes a lot of practice.
On foot rub I meant more of deep hills and toes massage.
That’s just me but both processes make me very horny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:52 woman here. Good body, very confident, masculine. Take charge.

Take charge of life generally. Look around at what needs to be done and take care of it. Make the dinner reservations, book the babysitter, make the meal plan and order the groceries. Notice the sheets need changing and take care of that. Book the vacation for the family.

Yes, amen. I do literally all of this, and I'm tired of it.

Plus, the lack of initiative or opinions from my DH saps my desire. I'd be much more turned on by, "Let's go to [restaurant] on Friday. I'll make a reservation. And how about a drink first at [bar]?" It has been YEARS since my husband has made a plan.

That would be so amazing!
I have an acquaintance (kids friends mom) who dropped that she and her husband were going alone for a long weekend. “Where are you going?” “Somewhere in Mexico.” “You’re leaving in two days and you don’t know where you’re going?” “Some resort I guess. My husband books these things. I’m just along for the ride. It always ends up being fun.” I was so freaking envious I could have thrown something.

Why? What is the big deal about planning a trip? That’s the most fun part.

Some of you just want to be pissed off at your husbands.

If it’s so much fun, why don’t men do it? Why do people hire it out?

My husband doesn’t do planning for trips. He doesn’t plan fun dates. He doesn’t give me gifts.

But he makes me coffee and breakfast in the morning. He takes care of the cars, he takes care of the dog, he takes care of the trash. He does other chores too.

In other words he does his share. But if I waited until he planned a trip or did something “romantic” we would never have sex again.

Good for you? Some of us have/had husbands who don’t take care of anything, and are jerks on top of that.

My ex literally did nothing (I could tell stories that would raise your hair on end) but I actually enjoyed sex with him until he started getting physically aggressive. Then it was nope, nope, not ever again.

If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he is a jerk, then that’s fair.

If you don’t want to sleep with your husband because he doesn’t plan trips or dates and he hasn’t really done that stuff before, that’s not fair to him. My husband and I don’t really have the time for a romantic “thing” every week, but I would certainly want to have sex more than once a week. If you generally love your husband and he’s generally reasonable, you have to unlink your sexual desire from chores and unpleasant feelings.

It's not about being romantic. It's about taking charge and getting things done, on his own initiative. That would be so awesome.

Amen

Yeah I’m not about that “choreplay”. I’m not turned on by you doing the dishes. But once my husband bought some flooring for the laundry room of his own accord and installed it because “it needed it.” He looked up how to do the install on YouTube. I dropped to my knees right there in that laundry room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

Sounds hot! But feet rubs or ass slapping? They seem totally unrelated and a very different approach to foreplay. I think for both you would need to communicate this directly to your partner. I think a lot women would find slapping their ass a turn off (maybe while the act has started a few would be ok) and while they would appreciate foot rub, don't see it as a sexual act. Knowing this, most guys probably wouldn't engage in either to get you in the mood, unless you directed them.

Trust my I told what I liked. I prefer a really great spanking session as a foreplay. But a lot of men are either scared or have very weak hands unable to grab my a..ss properly. Takes a lot of practice.
On foot rub I meant more of deep hills and toes massage.
That’s just me but both processes make me very horny

* heels

And on slapping - this is actually not great and distracting during the act . Porn movies for it all wrong . It’s great before sex though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get turned on by great masculine body as I’m visual like most men

The biggest sexual incompatibility I’ve found is hardest to overcome is men finishing too soon. I need stimulation - first feet rubs or ass slapping, then oral/hands then him onside me all-together for 20-30 min. And that should be a persistent, deep but at the same time gentle and slow moving act, speeding towards the end as he’s listening to my body.

But many men (particular ethnic “hot body” types I’m attracted to ) finish within 5 min of being inside me. They go into painful hammering mode right away, from the back when I cant connect sexually or visually

Sounds hot! But feet rubs or ass slapping? They seem totally unrelated and a very different approach to foreplay. I think for both you would need to communicate this directly to your partner. I think a lot women would find slapping their ass a turn off (maybe while the act has started a few would be ok) and while they would appreciate foot rub, don't see it as a sexual act. Knowing this, most guys probably wouldn't engage in either to get you in the mood, unless you directed them.

Trust my I told what I liked. I prefer a really great spanking session as a foreplay. But a lot of men are either scared or have very weak hands unable to grab my a..ss properly. Takes a lot of practice.
On foot rub I meant more of deep hills and toes massage.
That’s just me but both processes make me very horny

* heels

And on slapping - this is actually not great and distracting during the act . Porn movies for it all wrong . It’s great before sex though

For a guy to be into spanking with a very specific technique, it would probably help if they were into BDSM, you should screen for that. But it could be fun if you seem to be getting turned on. A nice foot massage I could get with as long as your feet are taken care of, I find women's feet sexy!