Mother's Day: Am I the a@@hole?

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

When she said she wanted to do nothing I guess she really meant for him to do nothing with his Mom also. Or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

The OP was very clear that she did not want to host guests on Sunday. She wanted a day to relax with her family and go on a nature walk. She doesn’t want to wait around while her husband takes the MIL and kids to lunch.

The misogyny is strong in this thread. No matter how simple the request, a mother getting to spend Mother’s Day doing things she likes is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

Yes, why can’t the OP just agree that her husband’s plans are more important than her plans? It is Mother’s Day after all. What she wants should come last, right?

[Anonymous]

I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

Yes, why can’t the OP just agree that her husband’s plans are more important than her plans? It is Mother’s Day after all. What she wants should come last, right?

DP Nobody is forcing OP to do anything. If DH wants his mom over, they can avoid OP Saturday night and go to brunch, or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not reading all the replies blaming OP because I agree with her. No plans means no plans and no guests and they are already seeing the MIL for two days before. Team OP. We too are doing “nothing” OP, and my DH is thankful I’m not demanding some big fete but also knows that nothing means nothing.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Book yourself into a hotel. Bring books, order room service.

Do people really want to do this? I spent a lot of nights alone in a hotel room ordering room service when I was a consultant. It's a pretty miserable life. I wouldn't choose to do that now to get away from my family.

Yes. Most of us don't travel all the time. Of course I want a night away from cooking, laundry, whining, dog walking, etc. etc. etc. Just one night. Obviously it must get boring if you do it all the time but you realize it's a treat for most of us? I can't believe some of you can't see past your own experiences.

It's pretty sad to be sitting in a hotel room alone eating alone. I guess if you've never done it maybe it seems amazing but it's really not.

To YOU, maybe. Also, you were on a WORK trip. Do you truly lack any imagination? You must be a blast to be married to.

When I was a new mom, I would have actual dreams about fluffy white hotel beds. All I wanted was 8 hours straight in a fluffy white hotel bed. It doesn't appeal to me as much now (my kids are asleep by 9pm), but I see why others want it.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread makes me wonder if everyone is only children.

I have the exact issues as most people on here (2 mom, plus me) and yet our childless siblings get away with doing absolutely nothing! It boggles my mind. The grandmas are all clamoring to see grandkids on mother's day, but leave their other kids completely alone. I can't remember the last time my sister had to host a mother's day, or DH's sister!

[Anonymous]

To be fair, YOU said YOU don’t want to do anything on the Mother’s Day. Does that mean everyone else just needs to stay holed up at home in their rooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me wonder if everyone is only children.

I have the exact issues as most people on here (2 mom, plus me) and yet our childless siblings get away with doing absolutely nothing! It boggles my mind. The grandmas are all clamoring to see grandkids on mother's day, but leave their other kids completely alone. I can't remember the last time my sister had to host a mother's day, or DH's sister!

Yes, it me nuts, but when they grace us all with their presence mother-in-law acts like it’s the second coming of Christ. They do the bare minimum and get all the glory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be fair, YOU said YOU don’t want to do anything on the Mother’s Day. Does that mean everyone else just needs to stay holed up at home in their rooms?

+1 Is it a problem if someone encounters you, and says "Good afternoon"?

Being alone and doing 'nothing' are different things. If you need to be alone you need to make arrangements with people sharing the house with you - either they all need to vacate, or you need find somewhere to be alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

The OP was very clear that she did not want to host guests on Sunday. She wanted a day to relax with her family and go on a nature walk. She doesn’t want to wait around while her husband takes the MIL and kids to lunch.

The misogyny is strong in this thread. No matter how simple the request, a mother getting to spend Mother’s Day doing things she likes is unacceptable.

I disagree she did not make all that clear. The only thing she said is that SHE did not want to do anything. She didn't tell her husband about a nature walk or that her husband and the kids should also do nothing. I do get the point about hosting guests, but I also don't consider my MIL a guest; she's family. I get that it's not the same for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you can’t just stay at home and he can take his mom to brunch. Why is that not an option?

Why are you making such a big deal that he might take his mom to do something on Mother’s Day?

The OP was very clear that she did not want to host guests on Sunday. She wanted a day to relax with her family and go on a nature walk. She doesn’t want to wait around while her husband takes the MIL and kids to lunch.

The misogyny is strong in this thread. No matter how simple the request, a mother getting to spend Mother’s Day doing things she likes is unacceptable.

You misspelled “misandry.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me wonder if everyone is only children.

I have the exact issues as most people on here (2 mom, plus me) and yet our childless siblings get away with doing absolutely nothing! It boggles my mind. The grandmas are all clamoring to see grandkids on mother's day, but leave their other kids completely alone. I can't remember the last time my sister had to host a mother's day, or DH's sister!

Yes, it me nuts, but when they grace us all with their presence mother-in-law acts like it’s the second coming of Christ. They do the bare minimum and get all the glory.

Right, but you don't care, because expecting 'all the glory' you think you deserve in life is naive and probably an indication you want to justify your victimhood.