DD meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time, we are both REALLY worried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

What examples? The always-pregnant mother? The crazy neighbor? Neither seems that bad if they're true.

[Anonymous]

The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

Respect should be a starting point not an end point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

Respect should be a starting point not an end point.

Disagree. Respect is meaningless if it comes for free. You need to earn it- whether you're 10, 22, or 60.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really get what this means or why people assume MAGA. Someone without a filter who insults others freely when first meeting them is bad no matter what their politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

I think your statement generalizing old people likely being awful pretty much proves that your argument is false. What a horrible, ageist assumption to make and even worse if you generally believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

What examples? The always-pregnant mother? The crazy neighbor? Neither seems that bad if they're true.

Telling a new neighbor to their face that they're "so insane" is really not normal behavior. If your new neighbor is actually insane (which isn't established here) you develop the smile, nod, and avoid tactic. You don't poke bears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

I think your statement generalizing old people likely being awful pretty much proves that your argument is false. What a horrible, ageist assumption to make and even worse if you generally believe that.

Read what I wrote again. I said old people are *more likely* to be awful than young people are. I didn't say they're more likely than not to be awful. There's good evidence supporting this. The idea of blindly respecting elders is outdated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

Respect should be a starting point not an end point.

Disagree. Respect is meaningless if it comes for free. You need to earn it- whether you're 10, 22, or 60.

No. This is the difference between the civilized and uncivilized. You probably freak out for being 'disrespected' if someone bumps into you on the sidewalk. That's not civilized behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

What examples? The always-pregnant mother? The crazy neighbor? Neither seems that bad if they're true.

Telling a new neighbor to their face that they're "so insane" is really not normal behavior. If your new neighbor is actually insane (which isn't established here) you develop the smile, nod, and avoid tactic. You don't poke bears.

That's not healthy at all. If they're crazy, you should say so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

Respect should be a starting point not an end point.

Not any more

Show me your maga you get zero respect

There is zero tolerance for the anti American anti vaccine anti brains sub human racists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

What examples? The always-pregnant mother? The crazy neighbor? Neither seems that bad if they're true.

Telling a new neighbor to their face that they're "so insane" is really not normal behavior. If your new neighbor is actually insane (which isn't established here) you develop the smile, nod, and avoid tactic. You don't poke bears.

That's not healthy at all. If they're crazy, you should say so.

Why? What is the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact the OP is expressing their concern about "uninhibited" remarks in the context of conservative parents is a huge red flag. And then basically doubles down by suggesting that old people don't need to earn respect. These days, old people are more likely to be awful human beings than young people. You should be appropriately polite for the circumstance, but respect only comes after it's earned.

Respect should be a starting point not an end point.

Disagree. Respect is meaningless if it comes for free. You need to earn it- whether you're 10, 22, or 60.

No. This is the difference between the civilized and uncivilized. You probably freak out for being 'disrespected' if someone bumps into you on the sidewalk. That's not civilized behavior.

You might confusing respect with politeness. You should be polite, yes. But respect should be earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can both be true that these parents are too fussy/conservative and that DD needs to develop a filter.

I agree with that. I just disagree with the notion that this is a good time to apply that filter. She should be very direct with the intent of getting direct responses back. MAGAs know their beliefs are abhorrent to most educated individuals and will sometimes try to hide them when they will face unpleasant consequences.

PP and true, just considering OP's other examples I think DD needs to work on a filter. But I agree tolerating abhorrent beliefs is a firm no.

What examples? The always-pregnant mother? The crazy neighbor? Neither seems that bad if they're true.

Telling a new neighbor to their face that they're "so insane" is really not normal behavior. If your new neighbor is actually insane (which isn't established here) you develop the smile, nod, and avoid tactic. You don't poke bears.

That's not healthy at all. If they're crazy, you should say so.

Why? What is the point?

Normalizing crazy is a bad idea.