DD meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time, we are both REALLY worried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 22 is in her first serious, long-term committed relationship. She is going to meet her boyfriend’s folks for the first time in a week. She is worried because she knows them to be pretty conservative on some matters. I personally am more worried because my daughter is REALLY uninhibited, even around people who are older or who she should respect. She’ll say anything for a laugh or a reaction. Once she announced to her friend’s mother that the mother was “never not pregnant”. Another time she laughingly told a new neighbor that she was “so insane”. I’m scared that she’ll really dial up the rudeness and loudmouthedness with the parents and they won’t be endeared to her. How do I stop this from being an issue?

Your DD will eventually find someone whose family is the same way. Nothing you can do now but be supportive and not dole out too much advice. This is her lesson to learn.

[Anonymous]

Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

No, because it was fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 22 is in her first serious, long-term committed relationship. She is going to meet her boyfriend’s folks for the first time in a week. She is worried because she knows them to be pretty conservative on some matters. I personally am more worried because my daughter is REALLY uninhibited, even around people who are older or who she should respect. She’ll say anything for a laugh or a reaction. Once she announced to her friend’s mother that the mother was “never not pregnant”. Another time she laughingly told a new neighbor that she was “so insane”. I’m scared that she’ll really dial up the rudeness and loudmouthedness with the parents and they won’t be endeared to her. How do I stop this from being an issue?

Don’t catastrophize. We all know people and love people who don’t have strong filters. Either your daughter isn’t very attuned socially or she is and she wants to get a reaction from people.

This is who she is and you can give advice if she is open to listening, but you can’t control how she behaves with her boyfriend’s family. And if they end up not liking her that is a data point that she can use to change her behavior or to continue with it. But none of this is in your control. And be open to the fact that they may love your daughter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your level of emotional involvement in this is insane. You’re “really worried” and “scared?” That your 22 year old daughter’s boyfriend’s parents might not like her?? And you want to do something to stop this?

Cut the apron strings, back off, and do something serious introspection about your level of emotional investment in your daughter’s choices.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Probably because DD really loves him and would be heartbroken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

No, because it was fake.

OP here. You haven’t gotten any updates because it hasn’t happened yet, and you might never get updates because you are random strangers on the internet and I don't owe you anything. Especially after how you’ve treated me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

No, because it was fake.

OP here. You haven’t gotten any updates because it hasn’t happened yet, and you might never get updates because you are random strangers on the internet and I don't owe you anything. Especially after how you’ve treated me.

You said it was happening in a week, and that was two weeks ago.

I initially was convinced you were redirecting because of your own MAGA beliefs, but now I'm with the PP and think you're just a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

No, because it was fake.

OP here. You haven’t gotten any updates because it hasn’t happened yet, and you might never get updates because you are random strangers on the internet and I don't owe you anything. Especially after how you’ve treated me.

You said it was happening in a week, and that was two weeks ago.

I initially was convinced you were redirecting because of your own MAGA beliefs, but now I'm with the PP and think you're just a troll.

OP here. I can’t believe I’m even entertaining your ridiculous demands into my private information, but here goes, I guess. The meeting was delayed because of a family emergency that the boyfriend’s parents were facing. I’m sure you’ll want ALL the details of that situation, but I won’t give them to you because they are personal and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. They do not connect whatsoever to my original question either. And once again, I am unequivocally not MAGA. I genuinely don’t know where you got that idea from, but it’s simply not true. At all. And now I don’t think I’ll update this thread when the rescheduled visit does happen, not when everyone is so desperate to say awful things about my daughter and I. I’m mad.

[Anonymous]

Ok. Thanks for the update.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is OP ever going to report on the visit?

No, because it was fake.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know people and love people who don’t have strong filters.

This^.

[Anonymous]

^not really

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your level of emotional involvement in this is insane. You’re “really worried” and “scared?” That your 22 year old daughter’s boyfriend’s parents might not like her?? And you want to do something to stop this?

Cut the apron strings, back off, and do something serious introspection about your level of emotional investment in your daughter’s choices.

+1000

+2000