DD meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time, we are both REALLY worried

[Anonymous]

DD 22 is in her first serious, long-term committed relationship. She is going to meet her boyfriend’s folks for the first time in a week. She is worried because she knows them to be pretty conservative on some matters. I personally am more worried because my daughter is REALLY uninhibited, even around people who are older or who she should respect. She’ll say anything for a laugh or a reaction. Once she announced to her friend’s mother that the mother was “never not pregnant”. Another time she laughingly told a new neighbor that she was “so insane”. I’m scared that she’ll really dial up the rudeness and loudmouthedness with the parents and they won’t be endeared to her. How do I stop this from being an issue?

[Anonymous]

She should be herself. If they're too deep into MAGA, then the relationship isn't going to work. Better to find out now.

[Anonymous]

Your level of emotional involvement in this is insane. You’re “really worried” and “scared?” That your 22 year old daughter’s boyfriend’s parents might not like her?? And you want to do something to stop this?

Cut the apron strings, back off, and do something serious introspection about your level of emotional investment in your daughter’s choices.

[Anonymous]

I, too, am more concerned by your daughter’s cruelty to those around her. There’s a time and place for brutal honesty, and a first impression with her person’s parents is certainly not it. Tell her to do better, and caution her to exercise restraint. Here’s a fun exercise. If DD would say it to her grandparents, then by all means encourage her to belt it out. If not, clam up.

[Anonymous]

So your daughter is a rude loudmouth with no filter or sense of decorum? Maybe you should have addressed this before age 22.

[Anonymous]

You need to let go. She's 22 and old enough to own her words and the reactions she gets from them. If they find her endearingly wacky, they'll roll with it. If they find her obnoxious, they'll tell her son and he'll do with that what he wants.

You do nothing to stop this. You say "have fun" and then nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 22 is in her first serious, long-term committed relationship. She is going to meet her boyfriend’s folks for the first time in a week. She is worried because she knows them to be pretty conservative on some matters. I personally am more worried because my daughter is REALLY uninhibited, even around people who are older or who she should respect. She’ll say anything for a laugh or a reaction. Once she announced to her friend’s mother that the mother was “never not pregnant”. Another time she laughingly told a new neighbor that she was “so insane”. I’m scared that she’ll really dial up the rudeness and loudmouthedness with the parents and they won’t be endeared to her. How do I stop this from being an issue?

You're looking at this entirely backwards. This isn't an opportunity for the other parents to interview her. This is an opportunity for her to interview them. If the parents are awful human beings, then it is in her best interest to interest to find that out now. Particularly if her BF didn't warn her, and if he doesn't set them straight when they get out of hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 22 is in her first serious, long-term committed relationship. She is going to meet her boyfriend’s folks for the first time in a week. She is worried because she knows them to be pretty conservative on some matters. I personally am more worried because my daughter is REALLY uninhibited, even around people who are older or who she should respect. She’ll say anything for a laugh or a reaction. Once she announced to her friend’s mother that the mother was “never not pregnant”. Another time she laughingly told a new neighbor that she was “so insane”. I’m scared that she’ll really dial up the rudeness and loudmouthedness with the parents and they won’t be endeared to her. How do I stop this from being an issue?

My first thought is that this is a fake, troll-type post designed to raise emotional responses.

My second thought is similar to my first thought.

My third thought is that your daughter is too immature to be in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your daughter is a rude loudmouth with no filter or sense of decorum? Maybe you should have addressed this before age 22.

No, you just described the other parents.

Who knows, maybe the OP, too. Perhaps that's why she's taking this so oddly personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your daughter is a rude loudmouth with no filter or sense of decorum? Maybe you should have addressed this before age 22.

yeah, this is something you should have addressed throughout her life

[Anonymous]

Lots of MAGA in this thread. I hope you're not expecting visitors as you age. I'm sure your kids hate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should be herself. If they're too deep into MAGA, then the relationship isn't going to work. Better to find out now.

She never said MAGA. Just stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of MAGA in this thread. I hope you're not expecting visitors as you age. I'm sure your kids hate you.

Mom, there isn’t. Stop
Making trouble

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your daughter is a rude loudmouth with no filter or sense of decorum? Maybe you should have addressed this before age 22.

yeah, this is something you should have addressed throughout her life

+1. How is she going to function IRL? Hold down a job? Why can’t she button it and exhibit judgment for three hours?

[Anonymous]

Just let it play out.