Allow sleepovers with boyfriend at 18?

[Anonymous]

Either you provide them safe place to have sex or they do it in a car in an alley or they don’t do it. Figure out which of these 3 options your kid will choose and act accordingly.

[Anonymous]

What?! My 18 year old with similar hardworking and good girl qualities would never fix her mouth to ask us this question.

We are the parents, she is the child and will follow the rules of our home. No sleeping with boyfriends at any age in my house. If you want to play house get your own place and do whatever you please there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either you provide them safe place to have sex or they do it in a car in an alley or they don’t do it. Figure out which of these 3 options your kid will choose and act accordingly.

The rest of us did fine with car sex. I'm sure OP's daughter can manage.

[Anonymous]

We did not allow my 18 year old to do this when he had a girlfriend senior year because we also had a younger child and I didn't like that situation. If it was my only, I may have felt differently. (I knew they were having sex so no secret and the relationship was also good and respectful).

My younger child now has a girlfriend from college and when they come home, I have allowed them to sleep in the same room as they are the younger ones, I know the other parents are ok with it (they sleep at their house too) and because they are in college and now they are 20.

[Anonymous]

OP what are your husbands thoughts on this ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what are your husbands thoughts on this ?

OP might be the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg no, what is wrong with you?

Smart. Car sex builds character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’re not intimate and she’s asking for him to stay in a guest room to avoid curfew complications sure. I’d probably want to talk with his parents out of respect, and also, you should realize this would be RARE that they asking for a sleepover without intimacy. You may not know the whole truth here.

Fwiw I did sleepovers with my hs boyfriend beginning at 17. It’s shocking my parents allowed this. It turned out fine. But I would never allow this for my kid. I would allow a s/o
to join vacation in their own room (which for us would be in an airbnb since we have one kid and there are not siblings to bunk with).

Why not, given your positive experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

OP- Yes, separate rooms. We’re a no intimacy till marriage family, and that’s a choice she’s made, feels comfortable with, and is aligned with.

You realize that she may change her mind about this at any time, as is her right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

Surface level?! So he’s not really a boyfriend, just a friend that’s a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

Seriously.

+1

I’m not saying 100% of kids who

a) have a serious boyfriend
b)tell their parents they are not sleeping together yet
c) want to have a sleepover with boyfriend so badly they are willing to ask

are lying, but you have to know the vast majority are!

Yes, even the ones headed to a top 5 lol

That’s not true for all teens. My husband and I were high school sweethearts who married at 22, and our parents allowed sleepovers starting at 15. We never did anything in high school—it was truly just
normal sleepovers. Now, with our four daughters (16, 18, 23, & 25), we don’t allow sleepovers simply out of respect for our home.

So…your parents didn’t respect their home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

You cannot be real.

Of course OP is not real. But you all bite so hard on this bait every time. It must be irresistible to the bored basement dwellers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

You cannot be real.

Of course OP is not real. But you all bite so hard on this bait every time. It must be irresistible to the bored basement dwellers.

DP, but the troll got me. I thought this was real until the religtable post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

BS they have had sex. Why in the world would he sleep over then?

LOL you have to be an idiot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?! My 18 year old with similar hardworking and good girl qualities would never fix her mouth to ask us this question.

We are the parents, she is the child and will follow the rules of our home. No sleeping with boyfriends at any age in my house. If you want to play house get your own place and do whatever you please there.

LOL your kid will be preggers soon

Shame on you for being a sucky parent who never taught your child the art of communication.