Allow sleepovers with boyfriend at 18?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

Seriously.

+1

I’m not saying 100% of kids who

a) have a serious boyfriend
b)tell their parents they are not sleeping together yet
c) want to have a sleepover with boyfriend so badly they are willing to ask

are lying, but you have to know the vast majority are!

Yes, even the ones headed to a top 5 lol

You forgot: has parents she knows wouldn’t approve if she was sleeping with him and told them.

It might still be the truth but the kids incentives are for that to be the story mom gets either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she were 17 rather than 18 would you have a different answer? Mine is no when you're a senior in HS.

HS is not college. Next year she is making her own choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

Or maybe you are treating them as more juvenile than appropriate. 18 is a fully legal adult. It didn’t used to be that uncommon for people to marry at 18 and it’s never been uncommon for people to have sex at 18.

Adults don't live with Mommy and Daddy and have to ask their permission.

The Adult Child forum will blow your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

Or maybe you are treating them as more juvenile than appropriate. 18 is a fully legal adult. It didn’t used to be that uncommon for people to marry at 18 and it’s never been uncommon for people to have sex at 18.

Adults don't live with Mommy and Daddy and have to ask their permission.

The Adult Child forum will blow your mind.

Oh, I've seen it. Lots of ridiculousness over there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

OP- Yes, separate rooms. We’re a no intimacy till marriage family, and that’s a choice she’s made, feels comfortable with, and is aligned with.

Then why ask us? Are you sure this is what she wants? I would assume she is not asking for a sleepover in separate rooms.

I would say yes only to an extreme emergency and I can’t even think of what that would be. Then separate rooms. I can’t think of any situation other than an extreme and unpredicted ice storm, where the BF would get stranded at our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Keep the communication open.

I allow my 24 year son and his girlfriend to sleep together at my home. They're adults. They live together. They're on birth control. They have great jobs. And I trust them.

But I think you're naive if your thinking they're not sleeping together. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

OP- Yes, separate rooms. We’re a no intimacy till marriage family, and that’s a choice she’s made, feels comfortable with, and is aligned with.

Then why ask us? Are you sure this is what she wants? I would assume she is not asking for a sleepover in separate rooms.

I would say yes only to an extreme emergency and I can’t even think of what that would be. Then separate rooms. I can’t think of any situation other than an extreme and unpredicted ice storm, where the BF would get stranded at our house.

OP - Yes, she just wants him to spend the night, or to stay over at his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

[Anonymous]

No!

[Anonymous]

I would say that I appreciate her asking me and am glad she felt OK asking me, but the answer is no.

[Anonymous]

OP has she explained why a sleepover would be desirable? It seems weird, honestly. Does she want to watch movies and eat popcorn late at night like girl sleepovers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

You cannot be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op are you under the impression they aren’t even making out? Like you think they are in some type of chaste/courtly love limbo with no sex adjacent behavior? Genuinely curious!

OP- We’re a devout & religious family, and we’ve raised our kids that way, and DD does follow that lifestyle, her relationship is very surface level. So, just came her to figure out whether allowing sleepovers under these circumstances is something we should do.

Ask your religious leader. I'm sure your religion has protocols, opinions and beliefs about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has she explained why a sleepover would be desirable? It seems weird, honestly. Does she want to watch movies and eat popcorn late at night like girl sleepovers?

Yes what is she hoping to accomplish with these sleepovers?