Allow sleepovers with boyfriend at 18?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at all the no’s here.
As all the college parents allow it at the same age range

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

OP- Yes, separate rooms. We’re a no intimacy till marriage family, and that’s a choice she’s made, feels comfortable with, and is aligned with.

[Anonymous]

No

Nothing do with sex

This is being too emeshed with the boyfriend. I don’t try to be too close to them so that my child can feel free to separate from them if they feel the relationship isn't for them anymore. This is more complicated if he's been involved with the family.

I'll revisit this if there is actually a commitment like an engagement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Oh please. This is going to change very quickly at the first sleepover.

[Anonymous]

If she were 17 rather than 18 would you have a different answer? Mine is no when you're a senior in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

OP- Yes, separate rooms. We’re a no intimacy till marriage family, and that’s a choice she’s made, feels comfortable with, and is aligned with.

Are you a troll? Why didn't you write this in your first post? It changes everything. If you're going to make this (moronic) rule for your poor daughter, then don't make it harder on her and her boyfriend by having sleepovers.

My God, the stupidity. At every level, and for all your decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I was going to say no, because I was assuming they would be spending the night in the same bed.

My teen has had his girlfriend stay over when it makes sense for something the next day. She sleeps in my daughter’s room. We took her on vacation, where my sister and I divided all the teenagers into two apartments. I took all the boys and she took all the girls.

Could they be sneaking and doing something? Yes, but they have plenty of opportunities to sneak and do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

Seriously.

+1

I’m not saying 100% of kids who

a) have a serious boyfriend
b)tell their parents they are not sleeping together yet
c) want to have a sleepover with boyfriend so badly they are willing to ask

are lying, but you have to know the vast majority are!

Yes, even the ones headed to a top 5 lol

[Anonymous]

In this day and age, OP, it's not normal to have a "no sex before marriage" rule.

You should have mentioned this in your original post.

In that context, sleepovers would be foolish, even in separate rooms, because that's really hard on the boy in particular.

[Anonymous]

No. And with the current environment id make sure she is using 2 forms of birth control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at all the no’s here.
As all the college parents allow it at the same age range

Wrong.

Relax

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at all the no’s here.
As all the college parents allow it at the same age range

Not the same plus college gf/gf generally don’t also have a house very close to yours in the same city

[Anonymous]

I guess, but I raise my kids how I was raised which is maximum permissive and supportive of any sex they want as long as it's safe. Don't encourage teen relationships but dont prohibit. Definitely want them to sleep around before marriage. It has a multi generational track record of 20 something picky virgins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

Or maybe you are treating them as more juvenile than appropriate. 18 is a fully legal adult. It didn’t used to be that uncommon for people to marry at 18 and it’s never been uncommon for people to have sex at 18.

Adults don't live with Mommy and Daddy and have to ask their permission.