Allow sleepovers with boyfriend at 18?

[Anonymous]

egardless of your decision on this, OP, this is your cue to remind her about safe sex, because clearly, they're having it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

I hope you're right but it seems mortifying to ask to sleep over if they're not doing it. Or does she mean jn separate rooms?

[Anonymous]

If they’re not intimate and she’s asking for him to stay in a guest room to avoid curfew complications sure. I’d probably want to talk with his parents out of respect, and also, you should realize this would be RARE that they asking for a sleepover without intimacy. You may not know the whole truth here.

Fwiw I did sleepovers with my hs boyfriend beginning at 17. It’s shocking my parents allowed this. It turned out fine. But I would never allow this for my kid. I would allow a s/o
to join vacation in their own room (which for us would be in an airbnb since we have one kid and there are not siblings to bunk with).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Do what do they need sleepovers for?

[Anonymous]

Shocked at all the no’s here.
As all the college parents allow it at the same age range

[Anonymous]

No is a complete sentence.

[Anonymous]

Yes. BTDT. Son is a college freshman. His girlfriend started occasional sleepovers when he was in his HS senior year. My thought process is, if they’re going to have sex, they’re going to have it somewhere. Might as well be someplace safe. Her parents are never home, so they could have opted to just be at her place. I wanted to keep an open and honest relationship with my son and not have him rarely home and at her house instead.

[Anonymous]

I shared a bed in HS with partners without having PIV sex. That doesn’t sound shocking to me. There was just a thread about couples deciding whether to have separate bedrooms or not which isn’t exactly the same but isn’t really all that different either.

[Anonymous]

You don't need PIV to get herpes or other infections. 5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

Or maybe you are treating them as more juvenile than appropriate. 18 is a fully legal adult. It didn’t used to be that uncommon for people to marry at 18 and it’s never been uncommon for people to have sex at 18.

But it’s always been uncommon to have a “sleepover” at your parents’ house with your boyfriend while in high school.

It would be different if she came home from college and wanted him to come with- assuming he did not live in your town.

Also different if he was in college and it was under a 2 hr drive- I’d like her make an over night trip there.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocked at all the no’s here.
As all the college parents allow it at the same age range

No they don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

+1
No way in hell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- They have not been intimate, and she’s not planning to be, it’s a pretty innocent relationship. She’s also well educated about sexual health and safety. We try to keep communication open, and she’s very open, she tells me everything about everything, way more than I need to know.

Pull your head out of your ass

Oh my God, yes. This is so hilarious. My 17 yr old DD and 18 yr old college bf have been together for 8 months too. First relationship for both of them and yes, they're innocent too but I'm not naive. I know damn well they're having sex. He's spent the night once at our house when it got too late and they fell asleep on the couch. We told her he could stay but in the guest room.