Allow sleepovers with boyfriend at 18?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO! You are a parent not a friend or roommate. Get it together.

Americans are such stuckup prudes it is no wonder you are MAGAs.

[Anonymous]

I might say yes if my college student’s girlfriend is coming to visit from out of town but not before that.

[Anonymous]

No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

Serious question: why not at your house?

I asked this question a few years ago on this forum and got skewered. But when I started asking among IRL friends, I found that it is widely accepted in our area (Bethesda - W school), but people seemed reluctant to admit it, thinking they were the only ones. I'm not saying that makes it okay (although personally I'm okay with it). I'm just saying this is one of those things that people feel they should not do due to societal pressure but actually don't truly have strong opinions about. It's also more common among European families.

Saying you're okay with your older teens having healthy sex but not at your house doesn't make sense to me. Honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

Yeah! Nothing wrong with car sex. Or bathroom sex at McDonalds. Sometimes people will even throw in some money if they can watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

You are the epitome of NIMBY (and yes, that is meant pejoratively).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO! You are a parent not a friend or roommate. Get it together.

Americans are such stuckup prudes it is no wonder you are MAGAs.

Not Maga but I would say no

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

You are the epitome of NIMBY (and yes, that is meant pejoratively).

Wait, not even in a tent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NO! You are a parent not a friend or roommate. Get it together.

Americans are such stuckup prudes it is no wonder you are MAGAs.

+1

MAGA are the first to have their underage kids get pregnant or STD's or abused by their religious clergy

[Anonymous]

OP can control if the boyfriend sleeps over at her house (which I agree with PPs is a no), but what if her kid sleeps over at the boyfriend’s house, knowing she didn’t want the same thing to happen at her house?

[Anonymous]

Can we f*ck in my room?
Can we f*ck there til noon?
Can we f*ck here or there?
Can we f*ck anywhere?
I do not like it in this house.
I do not like it on the couch.
I do not like it late at night,
Not in my home—no, not in sight.

Can we f*ck in a car?
Can we f*ck where we are?
Can we f*ck by the lake?
Would you let us f*ck for heaven’s sake?
I don’t object to love at all,
Just not beneath my roof or wall.
I’m fine with feelings, fine with dates-
Just please relocate your embrace

So, can we f*ck in a tent?
“That seems okay,” the parent went.
“Just not inside where I reside—
Go love… but do it outside.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. That's not appropriate for some that age and makes a relationship more adult than is appropriate.

Or maybe you are treating them as more juvenile than appropriate. 18 is a fully legal adult. It didn’t used to be that uncommon for people to marry at 18 and it’s never been uncommon for people to have sex at 18.

But it’s always been uncommon to have a “sleepover” at your parents’ house with your boyfriend while in high school.

It would be different if she came home from college and wanted him to come with- assuming he did not live in your town.

Also different if he was in college and it was under a 2 hr drive- I’d like her make an over night trip there.

Did you know that Amish people allow teens who are dating ("stepping out") to share a bed in the girl's house? They have a board that fits between the head and footboards and goes down the middle of the bed, but the barrier is only about a foot high, and no adults supervise the room. The boy and girl get to have privacy all night in her bed.

I grew up in rural Pennsylvania where a lot of Amish people live, and my parents had friends who were ex-Amish, and had grown up in the community before leaving. This was a few different people who all confirmed the sharing a bed issue.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course.

I bought a new bed in case boyfriend ever wants to sleep over. But, I've not been asked to allow it.

Anyway, in Denmark, I think, it's very common for families to allow this.

So, maybe examine your cultural upbringing and weigh it against the unsafe places they will have sex anyway. For example, would you rather they have sex at your home or in a car parked on a lonely street...? The answer is clear to me.

They are not going to NOT have sex just because mommy said no to sleepovers. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m fine with my 18 year old children having healthy sex, but not at my house!

I hope you are kidding. Would you rather they have sex in a field? I mean wth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course.

I bought a new bed in case boyfriend ever wants to sleep over. But, I've not been asked to allow it.

Anyway, in Denmark, I think, it's very common for families to allow this.

So, maybe examine your cultural upbringing and weigh it against the unsafe places they will have sex anyway. For example, would you rather they have sex at your home or in a car parked on a lonely street...? The answer is clear to me.

They are not going to NOT have sex just because mommy said no to sleepovers. LOL!

Definitely the car. Give the homeless something to look forward to.