MIL upset over dinner misunderstanding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am still hung up on the fact that you picked up chick-fil-a BEFORE the event and let it sit at your house for an hour instead of just picking it up on the way home.

Where did you come up with this? Not the OP but she never said that.

[Anonymous]

If anyone needs some MIL commiseration, check out the Reddit, justnomil.

[Anonymous]

I don't manage the feelings of grown adults. It sounds like she didn't understand the plan and assumed the worst intent. Not your fault.

[Anonymous]

OP - don't invite MIL next time. My Mil caused a problem at 2 of my kid's performances which marred the experience. I don't invite her anymore. I still invite her to some things, but not as often. If your MIL is going to be a drama queen or act like a child, then it would make sense to limit the frequency with which you have to deal with it.

[Anonymous]

You did nothing wrong.
You do however have a MIL problem.

[Anonymous]

"...At around 4:45, MIL called to say she was running behind. Since she was still a ways out, I quickly decided to go ahead with my mom to pick up the food..."

what did you say to her during this call?

2ndly, is this *dinner*?

"...come back to my house for soup and salad..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"...At around 4:45, MIL called to say she was running behind. Since she was still a ways out, I quickly decided to go ahead with my mom to pick up the food..."

what did you say to her during this call?

2ndly, is this *dinner*?

"...come back to my house for soup and salad..."

Have you ever met old ladies? Soup and salad is definitely dinner.

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for her, it sounds like she was really hurt and must have felt terrible. Still, you apologized and she cannot continue to view this as if you have spiteful intentions. You are okay, let her stew and get over it in her own time. I dont think you should worry over this any longer but it would be nice to show her a bit more compassion in her sensitive areas without getting too overworked about it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for her, it sounds like she was really hurt and must have felt terrible. Still, you apologized and she cannot continue to view this as if you have spiteful intentions. You are okay, let her stew and get over it in her own time. I dont think you should worry over this any longer but it would be nice to show her a bit more compassion in her sensitive areas without getting too overworked about it yourself.

Np why would she feel hurt? She only missed out on getting Chick-fil-A for the kids bc SHE was late (which op did not make her feel bad for!) Some people just look for reasons to be mad. My mil is like that and it’s exhausting to the point we really stopped inviting her to much and always regretted the few times we did include her.

[Anonymous]

Not the point here at all but if we are going to stop at Chick-fil-A for the kid, I'd want some too (even if the plan was soup and salad later).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not the point here at all but if we are going to stop at Chick-fil-A for the kid, I'd want some too (even if the plan was soup and salad later).

OP did have CFA; she was hungry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s my take:

MIL wasn’t really late, but she wanted to show up a few minutes after the agreed time for attention. She just wanted everyone to be worked up so that when she arrived she would get that big “Grandma is here!” moment.

She wanted to feel important.

Instead, she showed up to an empty house and saw that plans would continue with or without her. That probably stung. I don’t know how old she is but I bet this became a metaphor for bigger things and she’s spiraling that nobody would even notice if she was gone. That’s why she’s so angry. She wanted to feel important and got very concrete proof that life goes on without her.

That said, all of that is your MIL’s issue to deal with. You should continue doing what you did which is sticking to your timeline and being happy to include her.

All true, but OP didn’t call, email or text grandma to say simply “we’re going to get the chicken, be right back” or “we went and got the chicken and are running late on our return so you may find a dark house “.. Why not? So simple. So grandma not only arrives at the dark house but no one has thought her important enough to warrant even a phone call to explain the new plan to leave the house and get the chicken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the point here at all but if we are going to stop at Chick-fil-A for the kid, I'd want some too (even if the plan was soup and salad later).

OP did have CFA; she was hungry.

No, she did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s my take:

MIL wasn’t really late, but she wanted to show up a few minutes after the agreed time for attention. She just wanted everyone to be worked up so that when she arrived she would get that big “Grandma is here!” moment.

She wanted to feel important.

Instead, she showed up to an empty house and saw that plans would continue with or without her. That probably stung. I don’t know how old she is but I bet this became a metaphor for bigger things and she’s spiraling that nobody would even notice if she was gone. That’s why she’s so angry. She wanted to feel important and got very concrete proof that life goes on without her.

That said, all of that is your MIL’s issue to deal with. You should continue doing what you did which is sticking to your timeline and being happy to include her.

All true, but OP didn’t call, email or text grandma to say simply “we’re going to get the chicken, be right back” or “we went and got the chicken and are running late on our return so you may find a dark house “.. Why not? So simple. So grandma not only arrives at the dark house but no one has thought her important enough to warrant even a phone call to explain the new plan to leave the house and get the chicken.

You’re acting like Grandma is 95 years old. She’s probably like 68 with a stick up her saggy butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the point here at all but if we are going to stop at Chick-fil-A for the kid, I'd want some too (even if the plan was soup and salad later).

OP did have CFA; she was hungry.

No, she did not.

OP didn't say she did but maybe they all got some fries or nuggets kid shared or couldn't finish, and the child let it slip during the ride and that's how MIL came to conclusion 'y'all ate without me.'