Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Why would a random daycare worker be better at taking care of kids than their own parent? |
Anonymous
|
Anonymous
Yes, every parent is a fit to parent by virtue of being a parent. Anyone who is paid to provide childcare could never be as fit. 🙄 |
Anonymous
|
OP I chose to leave a good career to raise our kids because my ex traveled 90 nights a year and we had three kids in very close succession.
I was a SAHM till we divorced after 14 years that became increasingly abusive. Now- I’m definitely an anomaly but I went back to work for a previous mentor/boss who I had stayed close with. By the time my POS ex settled 2.5 years later I was out earning him. Again- I was lucky but it’s not impossible. I had family money to rely on which is why staying home felt safe to me: but had I not I would strongly recommend a post nuptial agreement delineating that he will continue to fund your retirement or whatever assurance you need to give up your income. It’s a precarious gamble for most, unfortunately. My 12 years home with my kids was a blessing- I loved in and truly believe that my kids benefitted. Good luck with whatever you decide. |
Anonymous
Of course this isn’t true. I’m way more qualified to raise my own kids vs some kid making $22/hour. YMMV. |
Anonymous
Why are you more qualified? |
Anonymous
Because I’m intelligent and extremely vested. I have three kids at top colleges who are kind, loving, empathetic kids so I’m proud of my work and investment in their lives. It worked in my case, again, YMMV. |
Anonymous
| I had been working for years but was never passionate about my career. We didn’t need the extra income, and I didn’t feel like I had anything to prove by continuing to work. I am enjoying the new pace at home. |
Anonymous
|
Sharing a secret as my kids are MS/9th grader.
The best and easiest time is elementary. They are old enough you aren't physically taxed as a parent and still fun, listen to you, academically not stressful, play dates still happen. When they are 0-5 it's obviously harder physically. But when they get to MS.. Hah! That's when the shit hits the fan  it's more stressful academically, more commitments with activities ie sports involving watching games like all the time + practices. The craziness of hormones appears. They aren't doing everything you want or tell them. Even the best behaved kid will want their independence to a point you never gave them.
There's a lot more energy you spend not in physical stuff but mentally. They are old enough but still too young they still need to be parented and driven and fed. Age 10-13 you will see if they may need tutoring or learning disabilities. Anxiety may come up. That 12 yr old may not be like the easier 7 yr old kid you once had - kids change a lot in a year. It's easier and it's harder. So if you do take in a big job or career track, consider that every age has its problems. You can readily hire help until age 5 or 6. Not when they are 10. You will have to parent and it becomes a full time job. No you don't have to be home all the time for the 12 yr old but you will need to be there to make sure they are alright. It's so dependent on your kids and how they evolve. How many kids you have, supportive your partner is, how big a job you have and how much downtime you need. These are things that will keep changing and it's different for every family. There's no one answer except to know that the age 5-10 years - awesome!
|
Anonymous
And no paid childcare worker is extremely intelligent or educated? I went to Williams for college and Columbia for grad school. My husband went to Harvard. I have three kids who I love and care about. I am not a SAHM nor are many of my peers. Our nanny, who is paid a lot more than $22, is patient, kind, empathetic, and able to enforce boundaries. I reject the idea that my children or any children are materially worse off because their mother works at Latham and Watkins et al instead of staying home with them all day. There are many SAHMs who are overwhelmed and struggle to meet the constant demands of parenting 24/7. I feel bad for them and their kids. I also know SAHMs with Nannie’s who were very checked out when their kids were little. |
Anonymous
*nannies |
Anonymous
|
My husband had enough money that I didn’t have to worry about the finances of staying home, and I trusted that when the time came if I wanted to go back to work, I could.
No regrets. Ended up having two more kids. |
Anonymous
| What is the point of Mommy Wars? Are we all so insecure that we have to bash other women’s choices in order to feel better about ourselves? This is ridiculous and needs to end. Work or stay home. Own your decision like an adult and stop denigrating those who make different choices. |
Anonymous
Physicians can literally write their own tickets in this world. There is almost no other comparable profession |
Anonymous
|
"Mom's"
? Op are you a college graduate? |