Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

I understand you spend a lot. It’s not a mystery. Anyone who “needs” 500k a year obviously spends a lot. I don’t care how much you earn or how much you spend. I’m pointing out that in your world money is number one. I would have said your kids come second but based on your follow up posts your own prestige is also obviously more important to you than your kids, so we’ll out them third.

I don’t actually care how you live your life. I am just so sick of all of the idiots (e.g. you) saying dumb shit online and then following up with never ending non sequiturs when called on it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.

No, she didn't. We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

I understand you spend a lot. It’s not a mystery. Anyone who “needs” 500k a year obviously spends a lot. I don’t care how much you earn or how much you spend. I’m pointing out that in your world money is number one. I would have said your kids come second but based on your follow up posts your own prestige is also obviously more important to you than your kids, so we’ll out them third.

I don’t actually care how you live your life. I am just so sick of all of the idiots (e.g. you) saying dumb shit online and then following up with never ending non sequiturs when called on it.

Take your meds. You're having some kind of episode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

I understand you spend a lot. It’s not a mystery. Anyone who “needs” 500k a year obviously spends a lot. I don’t care how much you earn or how much you spend. I’m pointing out that in your world money is number one. I would have said your kids come second but based on your follow up posts your own prestige is also obviously more important to you than your kids, so we’ll out them third.

I don’t actually care how you live your life. I am just so sick of all of the idiots (e.g. you) saying dumb shit online and then following up with never ending non sequiturs when called on it.

Take your meds. You're having some kind of episode.

You both sound nuts. One poster has some vendetta against wealthy sahps and the sahp chiming in here doesn’t seem to understand that since she only chose to stay home because her husband is an objectively high earner, it was a lot more straightforward for her to “prioritize” her kids and stay home since doing so required no financial sacrifice in maintaining an UMC+ lifestyle. You prioritized your kids over working because you could easily afford to. That is a luxury most people don’t have.

[Anonymous]

Did I get saner or is there a VERY unhinged troll on this thread?

I'm used to a fair amount of crazy on DCUM, but the crazy seems to be getting worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did I get saner or is there a VERY unhinged troll on this thread?

I'm used to a fair amount of crazy on DCUM, but the crazy seems to be getting worse.

One woman seems to be very upset about high incomes. She must not live in the DMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

I understand you spend a lot. It’s not a mystery. Anyone who “needs” 500k a year obviously spends a lot. I don’t care how much you earn or how much you spend. I’m pointing out that in your world money is number one. I would have said your kids come second but based on your follow up posts your own prestige is also obviously more important to you than your kids, so we’ll out them third.

I don’t actually care how you live your life. I am just so sick of all of the idiots (e.g. you) saying dumb shit online and then following up with never ending non sequiturs when called on it.

Take your meds. You're having some kind of episode.

You both sound nuts. One poster has some vendetta against wealthy sahps and the sahp chiming in here doesn’t seem to understand that since she only chose to stay home because her husband is an objectively high earner, it was a lot more straightforward for her to “prioritize” her kids and stay home since doing so required no financial sacrifice in maintaining an UMC+ lifestyle. You prioritized your kids over working because you could easily afford to. That is a luxury most people don’t have.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

The PP was simply sharing her personal experience making the decision to SAH, which is the premise of the OP.

Then some nut started harassing her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

I understand you spend a lot. It’s not a mystery. Anyone who “needs” 500k a year obviously spends a lot. I don’t care how much you earn or how much you spend. I’m pointing out that in your world money is number one. I would have said your kids come second but based on your follow up posts your own prestige is also obviously more important to you than your kids, so we’ll out them third.

I don’t actually care how you live your life. I am just so sick of all of the idiots (e.g. you) saying dumb shit online and then following up with never ending non sequiturs when called on it.

Take your meds. You're having some kind of episode.

This is actually a good suggestion, as tranquilizers are probably the best option for me at this point when I have to exist in a world filled with morons like you. Waking up and heading out my door every day knowing that I am going to be surrounded by absolute mouth breathers is getting quite hard to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.

No, she didn't. We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat?

OMG you can’t be for real?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I get saner or is there a VERY unhinged troll on this thread?

I'm used to a fair amount of crazy on DCUM, but the crazy seems to be getting worse.

One woman seems to be very upset about high incomes. She must not live in the DMV.

The nut isn’t upset about high incomes; she’s upset about stupid people who can’t comprehend what they read (or understand what they say). Your post is case in point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did I get saner or is there a VERY unhinged troll on this thread?

I'm used to a fair amount of crazy on DCUM, but the crazy seems to be getting worse.

One woman seems to be very upset about high incomes. She must not live in the DMV.

The nut isn’t upset about high incomes; she’s upset about stupid people who can’t comprehend what they read (or understand what they say). Your post is case in point.

The nut hasn’t actually contributed anything to the actual thread besides call several people stupid and criticize them. She is the one who isn’t logical and doesn’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.

No, she didn't. We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat?

OMG you can’t be for real?!

??

Lots of people in that income bracket have a second home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.

No, she didn't. We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat?

OMG you can’t be for real?!

??

Lots of people in that income bracket have a second home.

Choosing to purchase a vacation home isn’t a “financial situation” numbnuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.

No, she didn't. We don't know how many homes/mortgages they have. We don't know how many kids they have in private school. We don't know if they are supporting other family members. We don't know any of their financial obligations or goals.

Why are you being such a twat?

OMG you can’t be for real?!

??

Lots of people in that income bracket have a second home.

Choosing to purchase a vacation home isn’t a “financial situation” numbnuts.

You do realize that homes cost money, right? Many times involve a mortgage?

Sorry you don’t know how money works.