Mom’s Who Left Career to SAHP

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

I’m not defensive at all. I’m considering going back to work now. I would want a flexible and/or part time job. At this point, it would be a hobby job and I’m not sure if it would be worth it. DH earns $2m+ per year. This year he may earn 5.

Got it. You’re a troll.

Having higher standards does not make me a troll. I’m well educated and was earning more than my husband when we got married. I mommy tracked and eventually stopped working and am considering going back to work now that my kids are older. Our family does not need my income. We didn’t need it when I stopped working and not now.

Same. I don't' know why some posters find it hard to believe. We certainly are not alone in this situation.

JFC. Can you morons look up the definition of non sequitur, which is all troll PP (my husband earns 1 million a year! No wait 2 million! No actually 5 million!) has to offer. Her education, salary, pink convertibles, etc. are irrelevant to this side discussion.

It is mind boggling how stupid some of you are.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

This, and tossing those kind of numbers around in this discussion is just out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

[Anonymous]

I thibk also something that's getting lost is it's also not just choosing your job, it's an aspect of choosing what's best for you as well. If being at home all day makes you miserable then that misery is going to be communicated to your kids, even subconsciously. If you're miserable at work, same thing.

So shoving someone into a box they don't want to be in isn't a healthy choice for anyone.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

NP. I’m in a similar situation as the PP. Had a high income and now SAH for various reasons. The theoretical number for me to go back to work would probably be around $400k based on our current situation. Maybe $500k if our second home still had a mortgage. Maybe lower if our kids switched to public school.

It’s all theoretical though because DH makes a sht ton of money.

The hostile poster is weirdly triggered by $500k. Chill TF down, lady. You don’t know their financial situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are the one slinging insults to anonymous people on the internet.

I worked in a lucrative field. DH works in a lucrative field. We both probably worked in the highest paid niche places even within our fields. That is why I earned so much and DH earns so much. I earned more than DH when we got married.

FOCUS, woman. None of this is relevant to this discussion. No one cares about your high incomes or how prestigious your job was except for you. We’re talking about a specific number you threw out and how absurdly high it is.

It is relevant. You are the idiot. If your husband doesn’t earn enough to support your family, you don’t have the choice of staying home. How else will you pay the bills?

I won’t even tell you our burn rate since it would blow your mind. Then you may really get bent out of shape if you knew how much we actually spent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

[Anonymous]

It seems like most women stay home during the younger childhood years to provide childcare.

I think a better option is to keep working and save for retirement and completely quit working once you’re close to 50.

The time value of money and older kids need a parent present way more. I feel bad for moms who quit when kids are young and think returning to work will be easy.

I personally wouldn’t quit unless I were comfortable never working again. I know way too many women who quit after baby one to never return. Their finances are a bit limited and they have strange reasons why they can’t return to work (like afterschool activities).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like most women stay home during the younger childhood years to provide childcare.

I think a better option is to keep working and save for retirement and completely quit working once you’re close to 50.

The time value of money and older kids need a parent present way more. I feel bad for moms who quit when kids are young and think returning to work will be easy.

I personally wouldn’t quit unless I were comfortable never working again. I know way too many women who quit after baby one to never return. Their finances are a bit limited and they have strange reasons why they can’t return to work (like afterschool activities).

I’m the pp who said DH had to earn enough for me to stay home. If pp can get over that number, which she seems to think is too high, I believe my experience is relevant because my kids were the same age as OP’s kids when I stopped working.

I worked until my older two kids were in elementary and preschool. I naively thought I no longer needed a FT nanny since both my kids were in school (PK and kindergarten). I put both my kids in aftercare. The after school activities were really difficult for us to get to. Sick days, teacher work days, school breaks, middle of the day random parties, muffins with moms, Halloween parades, half days, snow days. It was a lot. We tried many types of PT help. High quality PT help is hard to get even when you offer a high rate. I tried to hire a PT babysitter, driver, tutor, swim instructor, housekeeper and cook. I was putting together an ad for the summer and decided I wanted to do everything in my job description. At the time, DH got a more demanding job that also paid double.

I ended up having another kid and Covid happened so I have been home. The after school activities and breaks isn’t an excuse. I have 3 kids and 3 different schools. All three kids do multiple activities and sports. Middle school private school sport games start at 230 so if you want to attend your kid’s games, you need to be available in the middle of the day. Kids are off after finals. I’m picking up another kid today at noon. When I stopped working, I had 2 kids who played soccer one day per week each and it was so hard. Now my three children have sports/activities 5-6 times per week EACH.

There was a thread recently about raising winners. My three kids are all thriving academically and socially. My oldest couldn’t even read when I stopped working. I didn’t have the time, energy or patience to focus on him when I was working. I’m not saying working moms can’t juggle. Maybe my kids would have turned out the same if I had stayed working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For moms who left the workforce by choice to be a full-time stay at home parent, what gave you the confidence to do it? I work FT with preschool age kids but am too scared to take the plunge and exit the workforce because I know reentry (especially at my current salary) is far from guaranteed.

What do you value the most?

Your children
Your job title
Money

I value being able to give my children opportunities to have a great education and access to pretty standard extracurriculars. I also value giving my special needs child the therapies he needs. Just that lifestyle in a HCOL area is a fortune and in my household, requires two incomes. A lot of people would like to be home with their kids or work a very flexible jobs but economically can not afford to.

To answer OP’s question, I had a high earning spouse. If he made less than 500k, I would never consider not working.

Based on this number, your answer to the PP’s question is:

Money

Isn’t that true though? If the husband earns 100 or 75 and you can’t afford to save up for retirement or pay for your kids’s sports or college, the kid likely is better off with a working mom.

There are many numbers between “100 or 75” thousand and 500 thousand, which is the actual number the woman said.

Anyone in DC can give their kids a great life AND save for retirement on 400k, just for example.

I am that pp. DH earns a seven figure income. We know many people who cannot afford college whether they are dual or single earning households. I would work if we could not afford to pay for kids’ college or not have enough for retirement.

I have a few friends who stayed home when kids were younger and now they are older but don’t go back to work. They will talk about lack of savings or how college is expensive and they have nothing saved, but don’t consider going back to work. This seems financially irresponsible. Some of these marriages also don’t seem that solid and SAHM would be totally screwed if then were ever to divorce because there won’t even be much money to split.

What the heck are you you babbling about? You quoted a number. The number was half a million a year. The vast majority of American families can save for college, save for retirement, pay for kids activities, etc. on SIGNIFICANTLY less than half a million dollars per year.

So if that is indeed your number (which is in fact what you said), then you 100% prioritize MONEY despite your feeble coping and justifications. And you don’t actually have to justify your priorities, just own it instead if pretending you NEED half a mil every year to raise your kids. That’s just pathetic.

I prioritized my kids. That is why I stayed home.

If my husband didn’t earn enough, I would have gone back to work. 500k would actually not be enough for our family. I wrote that number as a low number. Everyone’s number is different.

Yes, you “prioritized” your kids AFTER hitting your FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT priority which was an obscenely high HHI. The only reason half a mil wouldn’t be “enough” is because you PRIORITIZE a wealthy lifestyle.

Which actually makes your kids #2 on the list.

I was already earning a high income before I was married and before I had children. I was already successful in my career when I decided to stay home with my kids.

So what? That has absolutely nothing to do with your assertion that if your husband earned a penny less than five hundred thousand dollars per year you’d leave the kids with the nanny.

You’re correct that everyone’s number is different, and the people who prioritize money (eg YOU) tend to have higher number. It’s extremely telling how defensive you are about it. You clearly want to have your cake and eat it too.

You don’t know the PP’s finances. Yes, any family can survive on much less, but there isn’t a definitive number at which someone should be a SAHP or not. If they like having luxuries, nothing wrong with working for it. Saving for kids’ education and enrichment is part of prioritizing them.

You don’t understand what words mean, and you’re incapable of following a conversation or even a single train of thought. Get off ChatGPT and read a book or something before your brain turns to complete mush.

No one is arguing whether or not someone should or should not be a SAHP. But anyone who wouldn’t even consider it without a 500k/year HHI is ABSOLUTELY prioritizing money over time with their kids. That’s what we’re talking about in this particular side conversation. I don’t give a shit if troll PP values her luxuries and sending her kids away to enrichment camps over spending time with them, but it is an objective fact that in her world money is number one and time with kids is not.

You are just making things up. I’m not sending my young kids away to camp. WTF. And I stay home with them so I’m not sure how I value money over my kids.

OP was asking how one decided to stop working. My answer is still support of spouse and spouse’s income. If he can’t afford to support your family, the wife should obviously continue to work.

DH is set to earn the most he has ever earned this year. This is just the truth. And I am indeed considering going back to work.

Ma’am, you are EXTREMELY dumb. It’s probably better if you stay out of the workforce entirely, but for the love God at least stay away from any jobs where other people’s health and safety might be impacted by your decisions. You can’t even connect the dots between statements that YOU made, even though they are all written down in procedural order for easy reference.

I’m ivy educated and I had a lucrative career working in finance. DH earns a lot. I’m not sure why his high income offends you so much.

If I went back to work, I would want to help people - domestic violence victims, refugees, etc. I’m considering social work.

OP asked how you decided to stop working. For me, I wanted to spend more time with my children and I was able to do this because my husband earned enough to support our family.

None of this has anything to do with your “need” for 500000 dollars per year, fool. Which is what we are currently discussing.

PSA to the strivers of DCUM: the Ivies somehow manage to churn out a LOT of stupid people.

Frankly, you are coming off as ignorant and judgmental. You don’t know their financial situation.

She told us her financial situation you numbskull.