Will I regret ending my career to stay home with ES age kids?

[Anonymous]

This whole thread is why I wish we could dial back work hours to 35 hours a week or so. I wouldn’t mind the pay cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody regrets being a SAHM.

Are you kidding? I do. I went back to work in part because a sahm of older kids down the street, someone i liked and admired and who seemed to have a great life, said she regretted staying home and felt that she was trapped and had no options for the future.

[Anonymous]

I love my sahm brethren

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my sahm brethren

Sorors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is why I wish we could dial back work hours to 35 hours a week or so. I wouldn’t mind the pay cut.

If you own the business, you can give your employees a 35 hour work week.

[Anonymous]

SAHM is the only way to raise the kids right.

[Anonymous]

I think you can find a medium option between a high hours job and being home full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM is the only way to raise the kids right.

Really? I see zero difference between the kids of SAHM and WOH moms. Except that the latter kids are usually a bit more independent and a bit less spoiled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody regrets being a SAHM.

Are you kidding? I do. I went back to work in part because a sahm of older kids down the street, someone i liked and admired and who seemed to have a great life, said she regretted staying home and felt that she was trapped and had no options for the future.

My mom was a SAHM and then my Dad was diagnosed a brain tu or and couldn't work for an extended period. He had a risky surgery that could have killed him or left him permanently disabled but fortunately worked though the recovery was rough. Insurance doesn't cover everything. The savings were totally wiped out. It took mom time to get another job in addition to everything else.

If you do decide to be a SAHP, the working parent especially needs very good life and long term disability insurance.

[Anonymous]

I have one in college and one in med school and I'm glad that I stayed in the workforce. We have a comfortable life, we can retire, and the kids are starting with a huge advantage in life (no student loans and down-payment for decent housing).

[Anonymous]

I spent preschool/elementary at home. I am now (middle/highschool) working and I love my part time job that I got just before covid. You should push for that, even with a big paycut. Kids are out of the house for so much of the day and working 5 hours a day is perfection. its enough that I can do school things and take care of house things as well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no way I would quit under your circumstances. Only if one of the kids has special needs.

They all have needs.

You clearly don’t have a special needs child, pp. I have one with mild needs and one with severe needs. The amount of work the high needs child requires is amazing. You truly have no idea.

Nothing meant to take away from the unrelenting demands of special needs. The point that NT kids need their parents too.

And the needs of 2 neurotypical children can easily be met when both parents work.

well then I guess you're the expert of everything and everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody regrets being a SAHM.

Are you kidding? I do. I went back to work in part because a sahm of older kids down the street, someone i liked and admired and who seemed to have a great life, said she regretted staying home and felt that she was trapped and had no options for the future.

My mom was a SAHM and then my Dad was diagnosed a brain tu or and couldn't work for an extended period. He had a risky surgery that could have killed him or left him permanently disabled but fortunately worked though the recovery was rough. Insurance doesn't cover everything. The savings were totally wiped out. It took mom time to get another job in addition to everything else.

If you do decide to be a SAHP, the working parent especially needs very good life and long term disability insurance.

I think this stuff kind of goes both ways. My cousin had an aneurysm and died suddenly when her girls were in third and fifth grade. Because she was a SAHM and active in the community, the girls had an extended network of adults that they could rely on and that helped them get through their mother’s death. People took turns helping with homework, cooking meals, driving them to appointments, etc.

[Anonymous]

I'm working at a nine-to-five with a nine-to-five husband, and we don't make anywhere near that much money, so it's hard to put myself in your shoes, but I will say that one thing that people haven't mentioned yet is health. If you routinely don't get enough sleep, don't eat well, or don't have time to exercise, that may be a tipping point for me. Because at least one parent needs to live a long life and be there for the young adult kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one in college and one in med school and I'm glad that I stayed in the workforce. We have a comfortable life, we can retire, and the kids are starting with a huge advantage in life (no student loans and down-payment for decent housing).

I am a SAHM. We also saved up for college, med/law/business school, new car, big fat wedding, down payment to first house etc. Kids also earned merit scholarships so some of the college savings got converted to their ROTH.