Will I regret ending my career to stay home with ES age kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering it, but I make $130k and my kid is almost 4. Husband makes more so if I quit we’d be living paycheck to paycheck, which isn’t ideal, but survivable. Stacking my paycheck now to pad up our savings.

My industry is in a downward spiral—having to do more with less, and I don’t see it improving, even at a new job. For the past month because of my workload the lack of time with my kid is really getting to me. I now pick him up an hour later than usual bc of work. Or resign to working after his bedtime. Super depressing.

Can you decrease your expenses so you wouldn't be living paycheck to paycheck?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out the thread in the tween/teen forum about if kids who are older respect their SAH parents. The hardcore SAH parents claim they do but that's not the majority opinion.

My mom was a SAHM. I remember once asking her in high school why she was ALWAYS HOME. I was annoyed to come home and she was there always.

But I dated a guy whose best friend X had a mom who was never home. I went to X's house a few times and everyone just smoked pot there. We went to make out. Now that I'm older, I'd rather my kids have the mom who is always home baking cookies than the mom who is so absent that her home becomes a drug haven. Even at the time I felt sad for the guy.

I work, but get home at 3pm 3 days a week (they have activities after school on the other days). It's a good balance of being home and them still having activities. They begged to not have activities daily. I actually like how telework has ended now. I realize now how much extra I had been working and how easy it had been to check emails outside of work hours. Now I leave at 2:30 and leave my laptop at work. There's a lot more of a divide between work and home. When telework was allowed, I would have felt negligent leaving at 2:30 and people expected to reach me until 8pm or so.

[Anonymous]

Looking at today's job and stock markets, it would be irresponsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at today's job and stock markets, it would be irresponsible.

This view makes no sense in a vacuum. You have no idea how much OP DH makes, their savings vs expenses etc. I assume they are very well off if they can give up a $400k salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out the thread in the tween/teen forum about if kids who are older respect their SAH parents. The hardcore SAH parents claim they do but that's not the majority opinion.

How many tweens/teens respect their parents? Mine give me sh*t no matter what I do. If money isn't an issue, work if it's better for you and it works well enough for your family. Don't work because you think your kids (or anyone else for that matter) will respect you more!

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and my kids have always respected me. My husband and my family all value what I do for the family. They’re the only ones that matter.

[Anonymous]

Sahm is going out of style

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sahm is going out of style

Maybe it should be back in style because the kids are not ok.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I've seen the other side of this.

[Anonymous]

I greatly regret giving up my career years ago.
DH’s earnings have gone down but his already long hours have increased. We are now paycheck to paycheck, which is a situation we never anticipated, and it is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Check out the thread in the tween/teen forum about if kids who are older respect their SAH parents. The hardcore SAH parents claim they do but that's not the majority opinion.

This is so interesting - I will check that out. My 8 year old is desperate for a SAHM and most of her friends have one.

Most tweens/teens go through a period of disrespecting their parents regardless of whether they SAH or not.

Both of mine never did.

[Anonymous]

I would stay with your career if you like it and have some autonomy. I was making a little more than you with 2 kids much younger when I had a few fantastical notions about staying home with them. Then, my DH became a SAHD due to a layoff and lower salary. My income has doubled since then and I have had a great career--it has been challenging and I have been through some tough times, but I have never regretted it. When I think about it years later, it was unquestionably the right decision and also pretty apparent for me at the time. I got lucky of course with my DH being willing to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Based on my SAHM friends who are now in their early 50s and empty nesters: yes, you will regret it.