Complete Loss of Custody- Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having worked in family law there are all kinds of reasons women can lose custody. A lot of times they have vindctive ex husbands who will spend any amount of money to punish their ex wife for leaving them. Courts are biased against women, most judges/lawyers/police officers are male.

On the other hand, sure, sometimes there are bad moms who did bad things. It's really hard to judge just from the loss of custody alone.

Yeeeaaahhhh, no. Pretty much every single dad I know had an uphill battle with custody. It was just assumed the mom would get them.

I know two couples where the dad got primary custody because he had more money and a better lawyer than the mom. This is VERY common, it's not 1985 anymore, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having worked in family law there are all kinds of reasons women can lose custody. A lot of times they have vindctive ex husbands who will spend any amount of money to punish their ex wife for leaving them. Courts are biased against women, most judges/lawyers/police officers are male.

This is the truth. MRAs have perpetrated some mass brainwashing on this topic, and the system itself is full of abusers.

80% of cases settle without going to court. Abusive men weaponize the process and they get significant and sole custody more often than not. I have seen clear cases of severe abuse with incontrovertible evidence and the protective mother still loses custody.

OP, your friend or relative may feel deep shame and pain. Looking at this thread gives you a hint as to why. Statistically, it’s very likely she did nothing wrong. Be a listening ear and support her. They often make supervised visitations a humiliating and demoralizing experience, so if you can help in anyway there, do it. She likely still has rights to educational information, health information, conferences. She should exercise all of those rights, and be a Disney Princess while she’s doing it, even if people are downright nasty to her. Just ask pleasant open ended questions about her child, listen, and thank. Never speak negatively to these people about the other parent. This will be important for her children no matter what, and it may help in a future case. Judges and social workers are often swayed by teachers. If two years down the road, Dad is saying Mom is crazy, and teachers say well she’s always reasonable and seems like a good mom to me that is often more valuable than anything else you present. It’s like the one place teachers get respect.

MRAs ??

Men’s Rights Activists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would cause a court to fully strip a single mother of custody and grant it to her ex husband?

The woman in question is refusing to share the circumstances but she does have two DUIs from years ago.

Were the kids in the car when she got her DUIs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 DUI should be enough
more than enough

Not if they were in the past. I think you'd be surprised by how many 'normal' people have gotten DUIs. Same with abortions.

Boatloads of regular folks have had them.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t it possible that the kids wanted to live with dad because he is more lenient? That happens sometimes and is really painful for the abandoned parent to discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t it possible that the kids wanted to live with dad because he is more lenient? That happens sometimes and is really painful for the abandoned parent to discuss.

That does happen, and it's really hard on the parent who doesn't get chosen. But that, by itself, is unlikely to lead to supervised visitation.

Supervised visitation is evidence that mom has been accused of something. It could be that her ex lied, and the thing didn't happen, but there is an accusation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would cause a court to fully strip a single mother of custody and grant it to her ex husband?

The woman in question is refusing to share the circumstances but she does have two DUIs from years ago.

She was otherwise a mild mannered, calm, gainfully employed at the same place (HS teacher) for 15 years.

She is apparently only permitted to have a 2 hour supervised visit once a month now.

Alcoholics and/or drug addict.

[Anonymous]

My cousin got custody because his XDW was 1) an alcoholic, 2) mentally unstable, and 3) basically kidnapped the kids by leaving while he was on a business trip with them so when he returned they were gone and he didn’t know where they were for several days. He fought for custody and won.

His ex is doing much better now, moved out of state, got a new job, lives in a studio apartment and seems stable. They co-parent but she doesn’t see the kids often. My cousin has physical and parental custody and the kids are now all grown and doing well.

[Anonymous]

Physical abuse and drug use will do it, I ended up with custody of my nephew because both of his parents were abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is your relationship with this woman, OP?

I don’t like it when OP could conceals their relationship to the issue. It’s odd.
I don’t feel there is a level of trust established here.

It also makes a difference when forming a response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having worked in family law there are all kinds of reasons women can lose custody. A lot of times they have vindctive ex husbands who will spend any amount of money to punish their ex wife for leaving them. Courts are biased against women, most judges/lawyers/police officers are male.

On the other hand, sure, sometimes there are bad moms who did bad things. It's really hard to judge just from the loss of custody alone.

Yeeeaaahhhh, no. Pretty much every single dad I know had an uphill battle with custody. It was just assumed the mom would get them.

I know two couples where the dad got primary custody because he had more money and a better lawyer than the mom. This is VERY common, it's not 1985 anymore, PP.

+100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t it possible that the kids wanted to live with dad because he is more lenient? That happens sometimes and is really painful for the abandoned parent to discuss.

This. Also happens when Dad has significantly more money.

[Anonymous]

It could be a whole range of things. OP has told us very little.

[Anonymous]

The alcoholism is probably way worse than you think. Drinking and driving is a hard metric courts can use to gauge people- either you did it or you didn’t. The friend has probably endangered her child according to what the court think she did. All that said, you now know that she drinks and drives. Make your own decisions from there. She may not be a bad person but just not someone you’d leave a child with.

[Anonymous]

Op has posted this same thread numerous times.