Complete Loss of Custody- Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It could be a whole range of things. OP has told us very little.

OP has told us all we need to know. The courts decided the mom wasn't fit to raise the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It could be a whole range of things. OP has told us very little.

OP has told us all we need to know. The courts decided the mom wasn't fit to raise the kids.

Well done. We can all go home then. Did the OP SAY anything about a judge or a court ? are you final say ?

[Anonymous]

OP was cagey and said “what would cause a court ..” He/She said almost nothing about how the person described the situation.

The OP is either is guessing, filling in information or does not just simply does not know. OP has not even revealed why he/she wants to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having worked in family law there are all kinds of reasons women can lose custody. A lot of times they have vindctive ex husbands who will spend any amount of money to punish their ex wife for leaving them. Courts are biased against women, most judges/lawyers/police officers are male.

This is the truth. MRAs have perpetrated some mass brainwashing on this topic, and the system itself is full of abusers.

80% of cases settle without going to court. Abusive men weaponize the process and they get significant and sole custody more often than not. I have seen clear cases of severe abuse with incontrovertible evidence and the protective mother still loses custody.

OP, your friend or relative may feel deep shame and pain. Looking at this thread gives you a hint as to why. Statistically, it’s very likely she did nothing wrong. Be a listening ear and support her. They often make supervised visitations a humiliating and demoralizing experience, so if you can help in anyway there, do it. She likely still has rights to educational information, health information, conferences. She should exercise all of those rights, and be a Disney Princess while she’s doing it, even if people are downright nasty to her. Just ask pleasant open ended questions about her child, listen, and thank. Never speak negatively to these people about the other parent. This will be important for her children no matter what, and it may help in a future case. Judges and social workers are often swayed by teachers. If two years down the road, Dad is saying Mom is crazy, and teachers say well she’s always reasonable and seems like a good mom to me that is often more valuable than anything else you present. It’s like the one place teachers get respect.

You'd bet she lost custody, not because of something she refuses to mention, but..... because her ex..... manipulated the United States court system? And, further, you have the 'statistics' to prove this?

Go take your man hating someplace else, lady. The odds are astromically in favor of her having done something that endangered the child. There is no other explanation about court ordered supervised vists.

There are nation wide studies about this phenomenon in domestic abuse situations. Check George Washington University. Also previously covered by DCUM board, if you want to look there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would cause a court to fully strip a single mother of custody and grant it to her ex husband?

The woman in question is refusing to share the circumstances but she does have two DUIs from years ago.

She was otherwise a mild mannered, calm, gainfully employed at the same place (HS teacher) for 15 years.

She is apparently only permitted to have a 2 hour supervised visit once a month now.

Alcoholics and/or drug addict.

Even if the person has a substance abuse issue, they can take treatment plans and ask the court to reconsider after they graduate. If the EX Partner has a bull god lawyer, they basically harass the parent and put barriers in the path of the parents success.

Any divorce attorney can tell you the ones that go to court — it’s not about the kids.

Is the lady in question hot/ “a prize”? How long was the couple together? 20 years? 3 years? These are real question OP … whereever you went

[Anonymous]

If she is a “single mother of custody“
She could have been initially the nasty one in the divorce to get sole custody (single mom).
Then the ex flipped it and gave her a taste of her own medicine.

This is very common.

[Anonymous]

OP is a troll.No one tells a friend they have extreme restrictions on visitation with their children and then clams up on the reason.

People do not have that way. People behave and communicate in ways that preserve their reputation. ie they tell stories and their side.

Troll

[Anonymous]

I’m a lawyer. In my experience, there’s a 75% chance mom did something very bad (drug use, alcohol use + endangerment or, most commonly, problematic partner who did one of the aforementioned; courts actually defer to parents less in this last case, because they could easily choose to cut off partner) and a 25% chance dad outspent or out lawyered or the judge was unreasonable. So, in the abstract, it’s more likely mom did something very bad, but in the individual case, there’s really no way to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a lawyer. In my experience, there’s a 75% chance mom did something very bad (drug use, alcohol use + endangerment or, most commonly, problematic partner who did one of the aforementioned; courts actually defer to parents less in this last case, because they could easily choose to cut off partner) and a 25% chance dad outspent or out lawyered or the judge was unreasonable. So, in the abstract, it’s more likely mom did something very bad, but in the individual case, there’s really no way to know.

This.

The psycho risk is high.

[Anonymous]

OP, Troll,
You expect me to believe that someone shared
with you. “I’m a teacher at the same school where I student taught. Yeah, I’ve had two DUIs. Some time ago, I was a totally a single mom until the court stepped in. Sadly, ‘I am now only permitted to have a 2 hour supervised visit once a month.’ What? Yeah, TWO a hours a month. I hardly know what they look like. Can you pass me the salt! Oh my God, this meat has No taste!”

[Anonymous]

OP, how many one kid ? Two kids? Does the child/children live with the grandmother? MIL? Other partner? How old are is child/children? I am presuming young? Sometimes the Grandmother will care child if the mother needs to go away for substance treatment or long term hospitalization. Then they have a falling out. The supervision is to make sure they are not drunk or on drugs and driving with the kids.

Were you getting drunk at a bar together when she revealed she had hidden child? Children?

[Anonymous]

Is she mild mannered or on sensitives? Can you go through her purse when she gets up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she mild mannered or on sensitives? Can you go through her purse when she gets up?

sedatives? otherwise what are sensitives??

[Anonymous]

all these posters citing mental health - help me understand. aren’t such records protected?

[Anonymous]

Hun? I mean it’s wild speculation. The mom only has access to her child/children once a month under a court order. She is required to have another adult with her or visit in the jail complex. That is what teacher revealed to OP.

The working theories are abuse, mental condition that would cause her to stroll out of the house while the kid is in the bassinet; or alcohol abuse, which would make her a bad driver (or maybe she would roll onto the child while she was drunk or whatever, I don’t know).

The kids are not at risk of starving or dehydration it seems since mom is only saying “hi” ONCE A MONTH.

I’ve heard of this with grandparents. Not so much ex spouses. That PP lawyer’s assessment is nuts. ONCE A MONTH is a sign that something went terribly wrong in this mom’s life (unless she moved to another state with her abusive partner).