What is the purpose of "negging" someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The correct response is to blink slowly, then burst into uncontrollable laughter. When you can catch your breath you gasp “oh my gosh are you negging???!??” Then leave while he stews. Never take his calls again.

Beautiful! I love it

+1. I can visualize Emma Stone killing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Red Pill/ internet incel men are taught to do this to identify if a woman is easy to manipulate/susceptible to abuse. You give the woman a put-down disguised as a joke, and it's supposed to make the woman want to prove herself to be a worthy partner to him by making her insecure. The demands slowly escalate from there, until the woman is completely submissive and compliant to his demands. This is also known as emotional abuse.

"Men" are so gross.

[Anonymous]

It’s dating strategy. Women don’t want nice guys. Biologically, as far are reproduction, they want an alpha that will be aggressive. Ergo, negging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s dating strategy. Women don’t want nice guys. Biologically, as far are reproduction, they want an alpha that will be aggressive. Ergo, negging.

Is that what women say when they are laughing at your strategy? Oh, right, I forgot -- you only want the insecure and cringing ones.

[Anonymous]

As a recipient of negging in a past, I think the goal was to bolster his ego and remain in a position of power. It definitely made me desperate to seek out his approval and attention.

There was already a notable age difference (me-20, him-30) and I thought he was a lot cooler than he actually was. In some ways I enjoyed the tension and the excitement of the ups and downs. Obviously not a healthy dynamic for a real, mature relationship.

In my case, the negging was mostly talking down, condescending, treating me like I was dumb or immature. The age difference added to this whole dynamic.

In retrospect, I think we were both pretty underconfident and insecure people at the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s dating strategy. Women don’t want nice guys. Biologically, as far are reproduction, they want an alpha that will be aggressive. Ergo, negging.

Selecting an insecure/neurotic co-parent is an idiotic strategy for reproduction. Confidence is sexy. Confident men don't need to neg; "Alphas" are trusted leaders, not overgrown bullies. And confident women don't fall for that kind of headgame nonsense.

Biologically, this smells like waste products.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a recipient of negging in a past, I think the goal was to bolster his ego and remain in a position of power. It definitely made me desperate to seek out his approval and attention.

There was already a notable age difference (me-20, him-30) and I thought he was a lot cooler than he actually was. In some ways I enjoyed the tension and the excitement of the ups and downs. Obviously not a healthy dynamic for a real, mature relationship.

In my case, the negging was mostly talking down, condescending, treating me like I was dumb or immature. The age difference added to this whole dynamic.

In retrospect, I think we were both pretty underconfident and insecure people at the time

I've fallen for this too, for exactly the reason you cite. He'd make me feel bad, or unworthy, or even mean (I wasn't), and I'd rush in to show him how good and worthy and kind I am so he'd pick me.

Ewww...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot with these new, made up, dumb words.

Is negging the same as "shook"? or "triggered"?

No, it's not.

HOWEVER:

I have noticed that many people use it interchangeably with "nagging", just as many people use "based" interchangeably with "biased." My theory is that the majority of people using these stupid terms truly don't know what they mean, but have really poor vocabularies and don't ever read: they don't realize they are using a new word at all because they never knew how to spell or use the word the new term resembles. It is exasperating. Thus, I also hate the new, made-up, dumb words.

But I also remain "shook" at how many teenagers don't understand that "legit" is derived from "legitimate", or that "cringe" was originally (and still is also) a verb, and that "cringeworthy" might be a more "legit" choice in formal writing than the (new, dumb, only really works informally) adjective "cringe." Don't even get me started on kids who try to write that Othello is jealous because he suspects Desdemona may be a "hoe" (a garden tool? Really, you don't mean "ho"?).

I will see myself out now.

[Anonymous]

A neg I once received while in my mid-to-late 30s: “You must have been really stunning when you were younger.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a recipient of negging in a past, I think the goal was to bolster his ego and remain in a position of power. It definitely made me desperate to seek out his approval and attention.

There was already a notable age difference (me-20, him-30) and I thought he was a lot cooler than he actually was. In some ways I enjoyed the tension and the excitement of the ups and downs. Obviously not a healthy dynamic for a real, mature relationship.

In my case, the negging was mostly talking down, condescending, treating me like I was dumb or immature. The age difference added to this whole dynamic.

In retrospect, I think we were both pretty underconfident and insecure people at the time

I've fallen for this too, for exactly the reason you cite. He'd make me feel bad, or unworthy, or even mean (I wasn't), and I'd rush in to show him how good and worthy and kind I am so he'd pick me.

Ewww...

Isn't this sad that this works on so many young girls? I fell for this too but I wised up to it around 22 or 23.
I remember when I was 20 a boyfriend said "You would have had the perfect figure back in the 60s. I've never been into curvy girls before but with you I'm trying something new." I weighed 118 pounds! The treatment I put up with as a teen/early 20s makes me cringe.
Another guy told me "I'm pretty much exclusively attracted to Asian girls so you're going to have to be pretty special if you want my interest." And I took that as a challenge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s dating strategy. Women don’t want nice guys. Biologically, as far are reproduction, they want an alpha that will be aggressive. Ergo, negging.

Selecting an insecure/neurotic co-parent is an idiotic strategy for reproduction. Confidence is sexy. Confident men don't need to neg; "Alphas" are trusted leaders, not overgrown bullies. And confident women don't fall for that kind of headgame nonsense.

Biologically, this smells like waste products.

Totally. If you grew up in a healthy family, you’re able to identify this behavior for the garbage it is

And if you’ve ever been with an actual “alpha” male, you know confident men are attracted to confident women who stand out, and never to shrinking violets or insecure types they can “neg.”

I will say, though, that teasing and flirting is not always negging, and it’s a fine line requiring nuance, but the recipient will know it when they see it.

[Anonymous]

Women "s--ttest" men due to evolution. In the caveman days, women needed a strong man to protect them. Women evolved to repeatedly test men to make sure the men were strong enough to offer sufficient protection. Because women haven't undergone selective pressure in millennia, these caveman habits persist. When a man "negs" a woman, he is communicating that he is strong. I will add that negging should be playful and not rude.

As a man, I remember the moment I learned that negging women worked and never looked back. I treated women poorly, and they rewarded me with more attention than ever before. If you want further proof, think of the women who ask, "Why are all men a--holes?" The answer, of course, it that women only notice the a--holes, not that all men exhibit such bad bheavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot with these new, made up, dumb words.

It’s not new. It’s pick-up artist BS from the early 2000s.

You hold your boundaries and make them uncomfortable. Push them and see if you can make them squirm, just like a mean girl. “Why did you say that?” “Is that really how you feel about me?” Have fun with it for the date and then run the heck away because men who read “pick up artist” stuff are likely also into red-pill, manosphere, controlling anti-feminist ideas online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot with these new, made up, dumb words.

Says the person using "I cannot with" sentence structure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women "s--ttest" men due to evolution. In the caveman days, women needed a strong man to protect them. Women evolved to repeatedly test men to make sure the men were strong enough to offer sufficient protection. Because women haven't undergone selective pressure in millennia, these caveman habits persist. When a man "negs" a woman, he is communicating that he is strong. I will add that negging should be playful and not rude.

As a man, I remember the moment I learned that negging women worked and never looked back. I treated women poorly, and they rewarded me with more attention than ever before. If you want further proof, think of the women who ask, "Why are all men a--holes?" The answer, of course, it that women only notice the a--holes, not that all men exhibit such bad bheavior.

You only look to a certain type of woman. It’s more complicated than the insecure-healthy dichotomy that people have written about above. But negging does not work even in a majority of cases.