Not attractive enough for the men I am attracted to

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Join a gym. Start treadmill incline walking. Go to the sauna. If you seriously want to change things about your body, get an evaluation from a plastic surgeon. There's a lot of noninvasive and more affordable treatments now. Save up.

Use a calorie counter to track every single item you eat and drink for 2 weeks. Eliminate all junky/processed foods from your diet and up the water, vegetables, fruit and lean protein (tofu, beans, occasional chicken and tuna). Up healthy fats like Almonds, Walnuts, Pistachios. When you feel hungry, drink an 8oz glass of water, wait 5 minutes and re-evaluate if you are hungry or not. Keep calorie tracking until it becomes an ingrained habit.

Stop drinking alcohol. Drink sparkling water with citrus or cucumber or rose water. Never drink empty calories (frappuccinos, soda, diet soda). Add hydration tablets to your water.

Wear makeup. Lots of options and price points. Save money by buying less expensive brands and put the savings to a fabulous hair cut and color and hair treatments (this can run $300 a month and up). It will be worth it.

OP said she was thin. Why should she drink water when she's hungry? This is crazy advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the mask comment, especially the chimpanzee example, will go down in DCUM history. I can’t stop laughing.

I don’t get DCUM jokes. That mask person was joking, right?

I am sure you can answer your own question. Have you ever met a person wearing a chimpanzee mask?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am naturally pretty and have to put in work to maintain my appearance at my age. I am mid 40s. I get hit on by men 20s-50s. Women who are attractive still have to put in work. OP: you have to figure out how to maximize your attractiveness. And put in a lot of effort. Still, you may have to accept you still may not be able to get the man with the level of attractiveness that you want.

NP. Could you give examples of the things you do? I’m not doing anything at the moment and it shows.

When I turned 40, I upped my skincare routine. I started using a serum and moisturizer with more anti-aging ingredients. I watch a youtube influencer who is great (her channel is called Hot and Flashy...she is in her 60s and looks late 40s. She is stunning and has a lot of advice)
.
I exercise regularly. I also try to get at least 10,000 steps a day. (I am pretty toned...I have had two kids. A massuesse was surprised and assumed I have not had kids...my stomach is flat...I did have diastatis recti for 3 years, but did physical therapy). I should lift weights but keep putting it off...I know I need to start doing that, too.

I sleep 9 hours a night.

I color my hair; highlights.

I only have about 3 alcoholic drinks a month.

I eat very little meat and a lot of vegetables (I could use more protein).

I rarely eat sugar (they can make wrinkles worse...I really don't have wrinkles yet).

I did not wear makeup hardly at all under 40. Since 40, I always wear foundation and mascara at least.

I have worn SPF every day since I was 14.

Wear the right size bra. It makes you look so much better. Get fitted properly at Nordstrom.

Drink enough water...it keeps your skin hydrated.

Have a few favorite go-to outfits. I am mostly casual, but I do have a few pieces I wear over and over again that look good so I have something that is flattering to wear...you don't need to spend a fortune.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I am also petite so I need to be dressed really carefully to show off my proportions. For as long as I was young people did not notice me as I looked too young! And now I guess I am plain ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want what every woman wants: a good man with a sense of direction and a financially successful. A good heart and good values.

I know when I spot them but they do not even see me. I know why, I am not conventionally attractive. I know the kind of women they want. Feminine, attractive, put together but also down to earth.

I believe i have the character traits but my face and body do not signal my worthiness.

Do I just lower my standards? I can't seem to know how to downgrade!

Become valuable. Physical attractiveness is for when you have nothing else to offer. Learn how to be a homemaker. Ask out a shy guy and kiss him.

Stop watching porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really difficult to tell. What exactly is wrong with your appearance? Is your face not cute? Are you fat? Or too thin? There’s not a lot of details here.

Most men will go for anything with a vagina, so that’s why I’m not understanding.

I have an ugly face. Large crooked nose, odd face shape.

My body is thin but not toned.

You can get a nose job. But most importantly, you need to work on your self-confidence. This will make you more able to pursue men you want. Sometimes it's the woman who needs to chase, and that's perfectly fine too.

The women must always chase.

Women should NEVER chase. That kills the fun for the men, number 1. And number 2, it shows you are desperate. One should always remain a bit mysterious, distanced, aloof and very desirable.

Good way to avoid marrying a hard working genius rich introvert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want what every woman wants: a good man with a sense of direction and a financially successful. A good heart and good values.

I know when I spot them but they do not even see me. I know why, I am not conventionally attractive. I know the kind of women they want. Feminine, attractive, put together but also down to earth.

I believe i have the character traits but my face and body do not signal my worthiness.

Do I just lower my standards? I can't seem to know how to downgrade!

It is not how you look.

"I believe i have the character traits but my face and body do not signal my worthiness"

You have an odd take on life.

You aren't looking for a partner you are looking for someone who pays for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want what every woman wants: a good man with a sense of direction and a financially successful. A good heart and good values.

I know when I spot them but they do not even see me. I know why, I am not conventionally attractive. I know the kind of women they want. Feminine, attractive, put together but also down to earth.

I believe i have the character traits but my face and body do not signal my worthiness.

Do I just lower my standards? I can't seem to know how to downgrade!

Why would a guy with a good heart and good values want a golddigger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it will sound silly, but I've begun wearing a mask in certain social situations (parties, get-togethers, happy-hours.) If you think about it, a mask is really just another accessory like a hairband, earrings, whatever. They can also add to a woman's mystery. Who is she? Who's behind the mask? etc. Not saying it works in every situation, but for many they do. YMMV

Oh honey. I promise you that no one thinks your mask adds mystery. They are thinking that you’re a neurotic hypochondriac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really difficult to tell. What exactly is wrong with your appearance? Is your face not cute? Are you fat? Or too thin? There’s not a lot of details here.

Most men will go for anything with a vagina, so that’s why I’m not understanding.

I have an ugly face. Large crooked nose, odd face shape.

My body is thin but not toned.

I have a big crooked nose and always hated it. Now its one of my husband's favorite of my physical features. Go figure.
I'm glad I didn't listen to my mom when she tried to convince me to get a nose job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it will sound silly, but I've begun wearing a mask in certain social situations (parties, get-togethers, happy-hours.) If you think about it, a mask is really just another accessory like a hairband, earrings, whatever. They can also add to a woman's mystery. Who is she? Who's behind the mask? etc. Not saying it works in every situation, but for many they do. YMMV

Oh honey. I promise you that no one thinks your mask adds mystery. They are thinking that you’re a neurotic hypochondriac.

Hahahahah. Some absolutely insane people post here. A mask to add intrigue….rolling!

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the pages of responses. Literally almost every single celebrity has had a nose job. If your nose keeps you from feeling attractive and confident and you have the financial means to have it altered, go for it. Life is too short.

I will not date guys with messed up teeth. I don’t need them to have perfect Hollywood veneers, but I am turned off by significantly overlapping crooked and missing teeth. I got braces as an adult (in my 30s!) to correct gaps in my front top teeth. It improved my confidence a lot, and it’s the least I can expect from a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My body is thin but not toned.

Can't you solve the not toned problem by visiting the gym?

This - just hit the gym and get toned/fit. Then you can watch them form a line around the corner. I wouldn’t even worry about the other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it will sound silly, but I've begun wearing a mask in certain social situations (parties, get-togethers, happy-hours.) If you think about it, a mask is really just another accessory like a hairband, earrings, whatever. They can also add to a woman's mystery. Who is she? Who's behind the mask? etc. Not saying it works in every situation, but for many they do. YMMV

Oh honey. I promise you that no one thinks your mask adds mystery. They are thinking that you’re a neurotic hypochondriac.

Hahahahah. Some absolutely insane people post here. A mask to add intrigue….rolling!

Yeah… never once has the weirdo that got out of the limo with a mask on the first night of The Bachelor ever won.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it will sound silly, but I've begun wearing a mask in certain social situations (parties, get-togethers, happy-hours.) If you think about it, a mask is really just another accessory like a hairband, earrings, whatever. They can also add to a woman's mystery. Who is she? Who's behind the mask? etc. Not saying it works in every situation, but for many they do. YMMV

Oh honey. I promise you that no one thinks your mask adds mystery. They are thinking that you’re a neurotic hypochondriac.

Hypochondriac? I'm not talking about boring Covid-type masks. Masks should be be fun, decorative accessories, and are really not that different from glasses or a scarf. Yes, they hide your face, the more the better, but the idea is fun and mystery. And hiding your face. lol