Not attractive enough for the men I am attracted to

[Anonymous]

So you don't value yourself and you want those that you value (based on looks/wealth) to find value in you?

Please, take a look at yourself first.

[Anonymous]

Agree with all the PPs that there are ways to improve yourself -- cosmetic surgery, style, etc. So let's say in looks you are a 4, that might take you to a 6. But I also think you should adjust your expectations in the looks department for men as well. Face it -- the rich, gorgeous 8 to 10s get taken by the women who are 8 to 10 or so.

[Anonymous]

Successful men are actually not all the same and don't want the same kind of woman. Some are married to trophy wives, some are married to intellectual types, some are married to artsy types, etc. There's actually also a lot of natural variation in beauty among successful men's wives.

But one thing most successful people are and value in a mate is a certain degree of confidence. And that is something you lack, but you can work on developing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:80 20 rule

What does that mean in this context?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a friend in college with thinning hair and a big nose on an unattractive face, but she did have a nice body. Men always pursued her and I remember always being surprised.

Play up what you’ve got. Wear makeup. Dress well. Standup straight. Get some hobbies and fun things to talk about.

A nice figure is 90% of the battle.

Uhh, no it isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, there is a saying about being "beautiful", something like 3 points for traits, 7 points for makeup!

You can learn to contour/make up from youtubers, dress feminine clothing that brings out your natural beauty and confidence.

All of this. Having spent enough time scrolling through Instagram, I can confidently say that make up can do some really incredible things. Become a master at it. Get to a gym and transform your body. Get a sleek, feminine and up to date wardrobe. Just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:80 20 rule

What does that mean in this context?

It’s not accurate, but men online who struggle with dating gripe that 80 percent of the women want 20 percent of the men.

I don’t know what the percentages actually are, but I do great with online dating in DC so don’t feel the need to investigate.

[Anonymous]

As a very successful man who has dated woman of different attractiveness “levels”. The one piece of advise I can give you is it is more how you carry yourself and being put together than natural beauty. And preferably you have brains and communicate well.

[Anonymous]

Most people are not conventionally attractive. They’ve earned how to work with what they’ve got though - get a hair cut that balances your face structure, keep up with daily styling if said haircut, learn how to use makeup to your advantage but be cautious of how ridiculous the social media makeup looks in real life, go to the gym and add some muscle tone, refresh your wardrobe with more classic, feminine pieces.

[Anonymous]

As a male, I am usually attracted to women who are demonstrably attracted to me. If nothing else, I interpret the messaging as indicating a person is worth investing some effort in, to see if something might develop. I may not bother with a woman, no matter how superficiallyu attractive, who shows no interest in me.

If you're intelligent and well educated, seem interesting and show an interest in me, conventional good looks are a minor consideration.

[Anonymous]

If you’ve ever looked at the NYT wedding announcements, a lot of the successful and nice-seeming guys aren’t super attractive themselves and a lot of them are married to women who are rather plain. However both members of the couple are successful and equal in terms of education and upbringing. AND they met in college or grad school. You can fix your looks and be more stereotypically attractive but it might not help when “associative mating” is the name of the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a nose job because I hated my nose and the confidence I gained was amazing.

Totally worth it, would do it again in a heartbeat.

What if your daughter ends up with the same nose? I guess surgery all over again for her too down the line…

https://orangecountycosmeticsurgery.com/nose-surgery/wife-sued-over-delivering-ugly-baby/

The baby looks like the father, though! I don't think it would have mattered what the mother looked like.

[Anonymous]

What until you are over the age of 50!

It's so difficult to be attracted to the men in this age group. And they all want younger, hotter women.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. Lots of good advice on this thread. The main thing would be hit the gym 3 times a week. Do not waste time on aerobics since already thin. Lift weights only. Can also do this at home if more convenient or apprehensive. Focus on the butt and shoulder development. Butt should be the main focus. If you don't believe, do some googling. Capped shoulders will make you appear 'athletic'.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to put more effort into it. Plain and simple. You HAVE TO do everything in your power to look as best as you possibly can

I am naturally beautiful and still need to put effort into my routine. I don’t look as good with mousy brown hair and no make up than I do with bright blonde highlights, rosy cheeks and lips, and perfect teeth. All of this costs time, money, and effort.