I am married to a passive, un-masculine man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, shit - if it's just watching sports, grilling meat, and running a business; I guess I'm a Real Man! Bonus points because I wear cargo pants for all the pockets. (I don't go to church because I'm not superstitious.)

But, while I'm quick with a joke and can drink plenty of beer, I'm not all that violent or aggressive, so I was never regarded as an "alpha" or whatever the boys were calling such things 30 years ago. Women weren't throwing themselves at me. I dated a few people, got married, had kids, and that was that.

It’s called having a life, a sense of community, and participating.

And too many men, in particular, do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When he takes the lead, then you can call him douchebag

Lol

[Anonymous]

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

NP. Let's see, here: Sports, more sports (pro AND kids'), grill that meat, loves to work on cars and the yard, and oh boy! He likes to tailgate too and that's...a virtue, I guess?

Could this be more stereotypically macho? I hope this is a sarcastic post.

If not, I do get that this is the Ideal Man for some women, but damn. Not a word about whether he has an intellect (sorry, checking the kids' homework doesn't count) or an emotion beyond Protecting The Family and Loving His Mama. What does this "real man" talk about with his wife other than the kids, the grocery list for the next tailgate party, and when she's next expected to spend time with his extended family?

DP

Wowzers you really resent sports, cooking and car maintenance. What a trigger! Good luck with that!

No, I resent outdated, stupid stereotypes of supposed masculinity. A "real man" can work on cars and also have a brain. A sports fixation doesnt automatically make a man masculine. It's pretty 1950s to use sports, cars and grilling as yardsticks for masculinity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

NP. Let's see, here: Sports, more sports (pro AND kids'), grill that meat, loves to work on cars and the yard, and oh boy! He likes to tailgate too and that's...a virtue, I guess?

Could this be more stereotypically macho? I hope this is a sarcastic post.

If not, I do get that this is the Ideal Man for some women, but damn. Not a word about whether he has an intellect (sorry, checking the kids' homework doesn't count) or an emotion beyond Protecting The Family and Loving His Mama. What does this "real man" talk about with his wife other than the kids, the grocery list for the next tailgate party, and when she's next expected to spend time with his extended family?

DP

Wowzers you really resent sports, cooking and car maintenance. What a trigger! Good luck with that!

No, I resent outdated, stupid stereotypes of supposed masculinity. A "real man" can work on cars and also have a brain. A sports fixation doesnt automatically make a man masculine. It's pretty 1950s to use sports, cars and grilling as yardsticks for masculinity.

Who assumed that liking sports and BBqing means you “don’t have a brain.”?

Check your biases dude.

Like the PP said: spread your wings and meet some more people, maybe over outside of DC land.

And don’t diss the athletic, intelligent, caring and community-minded men so much, you look insecure.

If you’re vegan they can grill you up some artichoke hearts or something. No prob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

NP. Let's see, here: Sports, more sports (pro AND kids'), grill that meat, loves to work on cars and the yard, and oh boy! He likes to tailgate too and that's...a virtue, I guess?

Could this be more stereotypically macho? I hope this is a sarcastic post.

If not, I do get that this is the Ideal Man for some women, but damn. Not a word about whether he has an intellect (sorry, checking the kids' homework doesn't count) or an emotion beyond Protecting The Family and Loving His Mama. What does this "real man" talk about with his wife other than the kids, the grocery list for the next tailgate party, and when she's next expected to spend time with his extended family?

DP

Wowzers you really resent sports, cooking and car maintenance. What a trigger! Good luck with that!

No, I resent outdated, stupid stereotypes of supposed masculinity. A "real man" can work on cars and also have a brain. A sports fixation doesnt automatically make a man masculine. It's pretty 1950s to use sports, cars and grilling as yardsticks for masculinity.

Triggered again! Jackpot!

About 7-8 positive qualities were listed and you cherry picked out 3, escalated them to fixations, and went bananas again. Lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband but he is not like...a man. He does not have a big career or even works outside of the home! He runs a small business and hardly leaves the house. He cooks dinner most nights and does not show any interest in physical fitness or sports. He does not have male friends and he is a recluse.

We have a 3 year old that I know will seek out his father in terms of how to be a man, when the time comes. Is my situation as dire as being a single mom in terms of having role models for our son?

I’d be most concerned about his mental health given lack of friends and so reclusive.

Unfortunately this means you are going to have to drive the social outings and have more families over to demonstrate to your child how to socialize, conversate, and interact with people. Save up some energy, make a plan, and do it. Create more orbits of friends for you, your child and your family!

[Anonymous]

Number 1 indicator of happiness and geneticist is friends! Family and community.

[Anonymous]

Longevity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

Idk if I equate ‘real men’ with ‘church’

[Anonymous]

My DH is a scientist. He lives, eats, and breathes science. He is the most driven person I know. Has a masters, phd, and continues to take classes to this day. He doesn’t like sports, cars, or grilling. He can’t fix a loose door knob, but I can assure you he’s as masculine as they come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

Idk if I equate ‘real men’ with ‘church’

Sorry you have no one of any faith in your life or neighborhood.

Lots of well-rounded “real men” and their families involved and going to synagogues, Hindu temples, Baptist churches, Catholic Churches, Presbyterian churches, episcopal churches, Lutheran churches, Methodist churches, Unitarian churches, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is a scientist. He lives, eats, and breathes science. He is the most driven person I know. Has a masters, phd, and continues to take classes to this day. He doesn’t like sports, cars, or grilling. He can’t fix a loose door knob, but I can assure you he’s as masculine as they come.

Great.

What makes him masculine? The science stereotype or in bed or what? He protects you with Home Alone type booby traps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

Idk if I equate ‘real men’ with ‘church’

Sorry you have no one of any faith in your life or neighborhood.

Lots of well-rounded “real men” and their families involved and going to synagogues, Hindu temples, Baptist churches, Catholic Churches, Presbyterian churches, episcopal churches, Lutheran churches, Methodist churches, Unitarian churches, etc.

I couldn't respect a grown man who believes in fairy tales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

Portions of society frown on it.

Enroll your son in tackle football. And then wrestling in the winter. And then lax or baseball in the spring.

Take him somewhere he can learn to fish or hunt.

Real, true masculine men exist. Not the fake masculinity. But the real one. Where men understand their responsibility to the next generation. Where they teach values and self-sufficiency. Where your son learn mental resiliency, toughness, and compassion.

Let your boy be the boy he is, assuming that you're asking bc he's different than his father

My answer would be: MOVE OUT OF THE BIZARRE WASH DC BUBBLE

Real men galore in the other areas and states. They seek work/life balance, are in shape, run businesses, coach kids sports teams, attend professional and kids sports games, BBQ meat and make pies, go to church & brunch every Sunday, spend time with extended family, review their kids’ grades work, maintain the yard and vehicles.

And a little more golf and tailgating before college games.

But otherwise it’s all good.

Lots of double dates too now that the kids are older and can stay home. Going to a speakeasy soon with some neighbors.

Idk if I equate ‘real men’ with ‘church’

Sorry you have no one of any faith in your life or neighborhood.

Lots of well-rounded “real men” and their families involved and going to synagogues, Hindu temples, Baptist churches, Catholic Churches, Presbyterian churches, episcopal churches, Lutheran churches, Methodist churches, Unitarian churches, etc.

Just because "lots" of real men engage in that activity doesn't mean there is any connection at all. Lots of real mean drink water and drive on roads.