I am married to a passive, un-masculine man

[Anonymous]

My husband is similar and has been the most amazing father/role model to our son. Our child is growing up to be kind, driven, empathetic, helpful, witty, financially savvy, and talented in the kitchen.

If none of that is more valuable than someone who works out, I don't know what to tell you.

I do wish my DH had friends to hang out with, but that's me projecting my needs for outside conversation and camaraderie onto him (who seems to be comfortable without)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband but he is not like...a man. He does not have a big career or even works outside of the home! He runs a small business and hardly leaves the house. He cooks dinner most nights and does not show any interest in physical fitness or sports. He does not have male friends and he is a recluse.

We have a 3 year old that I know will seek out his father in terms of how to be a man, when the time comes. Is my situation as dire as being a single mom in terms of having role models for our son?

It’s 2023! This is how men are.

He cooks you dinner every night and you are complaining?

It’s a myth that women want docile men. No, they like semi assh**ls so they can have something to complain about.

Women do not want assh***s. They want a kind man who can be assertive and take the lead when appropriate. Probably the same for men.

+1, my husband cooks dinner every night and is a wonderful, caring father/son/brother. In the bedroom? Much more dominant and forward, and still makes my toes curl after 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman this type of man would turn me off.

I like to feel like my husband as my rock + protector.

Someone to be the dominant “Alpha” in the home…..

Gag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman this type of man would turn me off.

I like to feel like my husband as my rock + protector.

Someone to be the dominant “Alpha” in the home…..

Running a business while WFH would turn you off?
You think someone running their own business isn’t an “Alpha”?

We have three actual facts here: Business owner, cooks, and isn’t interested in sports/working out.

I don’t believe you are actually a woman and think you are just a troll sock puppeting.

Likely OP is a man trying and failing to prove some kind of “other side,” “double standard” agenda by the responses he expects to get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my husband but he is not like...a man. He does not have a big career or even works outside of the home! He runs a small business and hardly leaves the house. He cooks dinner most nights and does not show any interest in physical fitness or sports. He does not have male friends and he is a recluse.

We have a 3 year old that I know will seek out his father in terms of how to be a man, when the time comes. Is my situation as dire as being a single mom in terms of having role models for our son?

It’s 2023! This is how men are.

He cooks you dinner every night and you are complaining?

It’s a myth that women want docile men. No, they like semi assh**ls so they can have something to complain about.

Women do not want assh***s. They want a kind man who can be assertive and take the lead when appropriate. Probably the same for men.

This sounds like a near unicorn. I could be the OP’s DH (except I’m ambitious in my job) but I’m not assertive anywhere, including the bedroom. I know this limits my appeal but I don’t see how you can compartmentalize your personality to be one way to your spouse and another way to everyone else. I think women each need to decide where they want to be on the docile—toxic masculinity spectrum and accept someone who is consistently that way with everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want a real man, but society today frowns on real men, OP. Welcome to the great compromise. This is what women wanted.

People who say this usually don’t understand the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive.

[Anonymous]

You did the best you could.

[Anonymous]

So sad that when you met him he was aggressive and a macho man. Did you neuter him?

[Anonymous]

You knew this when you were dating him and married him. So if it bothers you now then you are dumb for not have noticed this before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is not a problem. OP you are the problem.

Why do people always do this when anyone struggles like this with their relationship? Like - why be on this board? Just to tell everyone they suck?

Of all the sub-forums on this board, the relationship sub-forum has the most toxic, bitter, negative and nasty people posting.

Anyone else notice this?

Seems like a core cadre of evil, bitter people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is not a problem. OP you are the problem.

Why do people always do this when anyone struggles like this with their relationship? Like - why be on this board? Just to tell everyone they suck?

Of all the sub-forums on this board, the relationship sub-forum has the most toxic, bitter, negative and nasty people posting.

Anyone else notice this?

Seems like a core cadre of evil, bitter people.

Why would a person capable of good relationships post here?

[Anonymous]

Is this you OP?

https://www.foxnews.com/media/matchmakers-brutal-advice-38-year-old-woman-says-chews-beta-men-spits-goes-viral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where can I find one of these men who make dinner?

Op is living the dream and looking a gift horse in the mouth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is not a problem. OP you are the problem.

^^this^^

[Anonymous]

Herbivore man. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herbivore_men