Dating as a 45+ woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that middle-aged women are competing with women half their age in the dating market. I'm in my mid-30s, and many of my male friends have trouble finding girlfriends their age (or at all). They have good jobs and own their own homes too. The typical 50-something man, even with a good job and a house, has no chance of ending up with a woman 2-3 decades younger.

Also, maybe it's the men that I know, but none of them try to date much younger women. I tried to set up my mid-30s male friend with my late-20s friend, but both balked at the 7 year age gap.

When I was 25, anyone over 30 seemed ancient. And no, being rich does not make up for that.

Please. You have no idea what they are doing or who with. If they think they have a shot with you they aren't going to tell you about your competition.

PP here. Yes, I agree older men try go for younger women all the time. But the chances of success, even for a hook-up, is extremely low. I have had no female friends who have hooked up with an older guy, and I have heard about tons of their flings. My male friends tell me they get no dates out of online dating or one date after a year of using it and have asked me for advice, so I know for a fact they aren't dating anyone.

Correction: you have no friends who have told you they have ever hooked up with an older guy.

Why do so many people assume they know the secrets of other people?

Are you serious PP?

Online dating is unsuccessful for most guys, that isn't any secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

I am not 50. I am 46. Tell that to the 27-year-old I have been seeing for 6 months.

You tell him Mommy.

My youngest kid is 8.

I have told him. He does not want to date near his age for several years because he is not looking for marriage. I am not either.

He has told me that I look better than most women his age. (Which is true). Everyone says this. Not just him.

I won’t remarry anyone so it’s fine for now. I am not looking for serious. Long term monogamous casual is fine.

You poor thing.

He's simply telling you what you want to hear so you will keep having sex with him. Do you not realize he is playing to your insecurity and vanity? No, I guess not.

Not wanting marriage doesn't mean he would not prefer a younger woman for casual sex, if he could easily get one. Evidently he can't.

What he was telling you is that since he does not want a serious relationship and marriage yet, he does not need or want to put in the kind of effort it would take to find a marriageble woman in his own age group. For casual sex you will suffice unless and until something better comes along. You probably think he isn't having sex with other women or wouldn't should the opportunity arise too. Guess again.

For many younger guys they will have sex with an older woman becaus it's easier, not because it's preferable, to finding someone their own age.

That's all.

How you warped everything in your mind to take this huge ego trip is amusing, I guess it salves ones ego

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm male in my 50s and above average looking for my age. I think women who are above average looking my age are in very high demand. I had a nice online conversation with a woman my age but she decided not to meet me. She said she was busy/sick blah blah blah. A week later I ran into her at a coffee shop. She was on a date with a guy in his 30s. They seemed to be having a very engrossing conversation. She looked very confident.

This seems true. I’m 41 and was online dating last year. Lots of interest from men 10-15 years older but I found I was not interested in anyone even 8 years older. Younger men had no issues with dating older - most men are ambivalent on having kids so the ones who are willing to date older are usually mature and openminded. For what it’s worth I also tried 10 years younger and found it too much - I set my matches to 8 on both sides but preferred under 5 years difference. Younger men look better, are less angry, more emotionally intelligent and feminist. Older guys have more baggage, less hair, and more rigid and traditional in gender roles.

Right. Both older and younger men will have casual sex with you. Don't sugar coat it by calling it *dating* you.

Do you think you made a new important genius level discovery here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

NP here. I’m 45 and still look pretty good. My friends are also fit and attractive.

You are kidding yourself if you look better than most 25 year olds.

I’m still married. My twice divorced friend was doing well on the dating scene post divorce. She slept with more men in one year than in 40 years combined. She had this giant ego. Then it hit her that while it is easy to have sex, it was much harder to connect. Now she is in a very bad place after partying for a few years.

Yes, this - it always boggles my mind when women think that because a man will sleep with them, it necessarily means he likes or cares about her or that it somehow correlates to how objectively attractive she is. Single guys will sleep with just about anyone who will let them. I truly think figuring this out and really internalizing it in my early 20s helped me make better choices with who I wanted to invest my time on. Of course if all you want is sex then no problem and have fun, but it doesn’t tell you much about anything else.

Yea, which is why I never sleep with a man until after a month or so. Allows him invest more emotionally and also decide whether he’s actually interested in the relationship

Do you realize you are selecting for low libido, passive men lacking in self confidence and options?

All that being willing to wait for a month means is that they don't have better options, it doesn't mean they are emotionally invested in you. After a month? That's crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I can see - as an observer with divorced friends - it's a little unusual out there. Whether its older women with younger men or vice versa. Attractive 45 year olds are appealing for a lot of people.

Genuine relationships are different though. Most likely it will be the same generation. And then it's more like two animals circling each other. Very different. Things become real.

All well adjusted women want a man they can have babies with but also rely on to support the family while she raises the kids. The problem is at this point both sexes have been brainwashed by progressive education and media to believe it is wrong for men or women to want this. That's the reason so many people are messed up.

On here, you get the emotionally disturbed dregs posting about their relationship failures but with zero insight of why the relationship failed.

It's mostly women and the relationship failure is never their fault. There is always an excuse.

The women who are single and don't want to be, same issue.

Even something as simple as.the woman who lost 21 pounds and got lots of male attention, who concluded that was depressing to her.

How severely emotionally disturbed do you have to be to have fully internalized the notion that being healthier and more sexually attractive is depressing, because reality doesn't coincide with your woke progressive politics that you paid $200,000 in tuition to get a worthless degree in?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all the tips and stories. Makes me feel that it might just be ok. Looking forward to some great sex and maybe an LTR down the track. I am not overweight and have an attractive face - I’m no smokeshow like someone in their 20s, but I like to think I can be fun company. I have a good job so I can support myself. Would love to connect with people that are emotionally intelligent for some witty banter, a few cocktails and see what happens.

Appreciate the info and pep talk. Thanks people of DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

NP here. I’m 45 and still look pretty good. My friends are also fit and attractive.

You are kidding yourself if you look better than most 25 year olds.

I’m still married. My twice divorced friend was doing well on the dating scene post divorce. She slept with more men in one year than in 40 years combined. She had this giant ego. Then it hit her that while it is easy to have sex, it was much harder to connect. Now she is in a very bad place after partying for a few years.

Yes, this - it always boggles my mind when women think that because a man will sleep with them, it necessarily means he likes or cares about her or that it somehow correlates to how objectively attractive she is. Single guys will sleep with just about anyone who will let them. I truly think figuring this out and really internalizing it in my early 20s helped me make better choices with who I wanted to invest my time on. Of course if all you want is sex then no problem and have fun, but it doesn’t tell you much about anything else.

Yea, which is why I never sleep with a man until after a month or so. Allows him invest more emotionally and also decide whether he’s actually interested in the relationship

Do you realize you are selecting for low libido, passive men lacking in self confidence and options?

All that being willing to wait for a month means is that they don't have better options, it doesn't mean they are emotionally invested in you. After a month? That's crazy.

You are crazy and make all men look like dogs hungry for sex going around f…ing everything they can. A high L man knows how to use his hands and has self respect to date women he wants to date. Men get tired of sex with multiple women over time, and all that dating turnover

[Anonymous]

A lot of men over 50 have erectile problems. Be warned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

I am not 50. I am 46. Tell that to the 27-year-old I have been seeing for 6 months.

You tell him Mommy.

My youngest kid is 8.

I have told him. He does not want to date near his age for several years because he is not looking for marriage. I am not either.

He has told me that I look better than most women his age. (Which is true). Everyone says this. Not just him.

I won’t remarry anyone so it’s fine for now. I am not looking for serious. Long term monogamous casual is fine.

You poor thing.

He's simply telling you what you want to hear so you will keep having sex with him. Do you not realize he is playing to your insecurity and vanity? No, I guess not.

Not wanting marriage doesn't mean he would not prefer a younger woman for casual sex, if he could easily get one. Evidently he can't.

What he was telling you is that since he does not want a serious relationship and marriage yet, he does not need or want to put in the kind of effort it would take to find a marriageble woman in his own age group. For casual sex you will suffice unless and until something better comes along. You probably think he isn't having sex with other women or wouldn't should the opportunity arise too. Guess again.

For many younger guys they will have sex with an older woman becaus it's easier, not because it's preferable, to finding someone their own age.

That's all.

How you warped everything in your mind to take this huge ego trip is amusing, I guess it salves ones ego

This was obviously written by someone with zero personal experience of attracting twentysomethings. You don't sound bitter or jealous at all sis...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men over 50 have erectile problems. Be warned.

Yes, they love bragging on this forum about dating 20 years olds but in reality can’t even pull off a single good session per week.
Men in dmv have far less sex than they claim to get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men over 50 have erectile problems. Be warned.

Truth. I’m currently with a 60yo who has the function of a 35yo but getting there had to cut through some dead wood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a myth that middle-aged women are competing with women half their age in the dating market. I'm in my mid-30s, and many of my male friends have trouble finding girlfriends their age (or at all). They have good jobs and own their own homes too. The typical 50-something man, even with a good job and a house, has no chance of ending up with a woman 2-3 decades younger.

Also, maybe it's the men that I know, but none of them try to date much younger women. I tried to set up my mid-30s male friend with my late-20s friend, but both balked at the 7 year age gap.

When I was 25, anyone over 30 seemed ancient. And no, being rich does not make up for that.

Please. You have no idea what they are doing or who with. If they think they have a shot with you they aren't going to tell you about your competition.

PP here. Yes, I agree older men try go for younger women all the time. But the chances of success, even for a hook-up, is extremely low. I have had no female friends who have hooked up with an older guy, and I have heard about tons of their flings. My male friends tell me they get no dates out of online dating or one date after a year of using it and have asked me for advice, so I know for a fact they aren't dating anyone.

Correction: you have no friends who have told you they have ever hooked up with an older guy.

Why do so many people assume they know the secrets of other people?

Are you serious PP?

Online dating is unsuccessful for most guys, that isn't any secret.

[Anonymous]

Hi I am widower 57 years name Nandakishore from banglore anybody interested contact 9980129094

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

clubs

Ugggh. The idea of going to clubs at 45+ makes my skin crawl. I'd rather meet a man at a bird watching event at 7 am.

This is a great argument for doing what you actually like; you're far more likely to be compatible with others who like to dance/bird watch/etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men over 50 have erectile problems. Be warned.

Truth. I’m currently with a 60yo who has the function of a 35yo but getting there had to cut through some dead wood.

What’s his secret? Asking for a friend…