Dating as a 45+ woman

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

NP here. I’m 45 and still look pretty good. My friends are also fit and attractive.

You are kidding yourself if you look better than most 25 year olds.

I’m still married. My twice divorced friend was doing well on the dating scene post divorce. She slept with more men in one year than in 40 years combined. She had this giant ego. Then it hit her that while it is easy to have sex, it was much harder to connect. Now she is in a very bad place after partying for a few years.

Yes, this - it always boggles my mind when women think that because a man will sleep with them, it necessarily means he likes or cares about her or that it somehow correlates to how objectively attractive she is. Single guys will sleep with just about anyone who will let them. I truly think figuring this out and really internalizing it in my early 20s helped me make better choices with who I wanted to invest my time on. Of course if all you want is sex then no problem and have fun, but it doesn’t tell you much about anything else.

Yea, which is why I never sleep with a man until after a month or so. Allows him invest more emotionally and also decide whether he’s actually interested in the relationship

Do you realize you are selecting for low libido, passive men lacking in self confidence and options?

All that being willing to wait for a month means is that they don't have better options, it doesn't mean they are emotionally invested in you. After a month? That's crazy.

You are crazy and make all men look like dogs hungry for sex going around f…ing everything they can. A high L man knows how to use his hands and has self respect to date women he wants to date. Men get tired of sex with multiple women over time, and all that dating turnover

Utter and complete horse sh*t. Boning is literally all men want to do. That is it.

I know within a nano second of meeting a woman whether I want her sitting on my face. It is programmed into all of us. It's like wanting water when you are thirsty. It is primal, akin to breathing. Women will never understand this. Ever.

We are hostages to our penis.

Lol. This one’s a real charmer ladies.

Sweetie, that's all of them.

The original post is cracked mental eventually settle down because they’re sick of the dating portion of getting laid.

It’s essentially the reason. Lots of marriages break up is because men think they’re just gonna get the sex for free with no dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Young men like sex with hot young women, but what they *really* like is easy sex. I agree with PP who said that this is what's going on in most of these older woman/younger man relationships. There are probably some young men who prefer older women, maybe because older women are better in bed or maybe because they (the young men) enjoy feeling dominated/objectified...but they're the exceptions. Your typical twentysomething guy who's dating significantly older either can't get a woman his own age or doesn't feel like putting in the effort to do so.

It's funny how the ladies of DCUM assume that comical egotism is solely a guy thing. Listening to middle-aged divorcees talk about their love lives, it becomes clear that that's not the case. In general, middle-aged people of both genders seem to have very high opinions of themselves. I guess you have to deal with aging somehow.

The younger men I've dated can all get women their own age. They're all attractive with good careers. They prefer older. I didn't believe it for a long time, but they've all given me their reasons: younger women are trashy, flaky, needy, greedy, and, let's face it, a GenX woman is less likely to be fat, anxious, depressed, sexually confused and just plain weird than a GenZ. A few wrinkles is nothing when you factor in all of that, and most successful 45-55 year old women have the money to spend to get rid of them. The younger men I've dated have waited months for sex and insist on paying for everything. As far as I know, none of them has gone on to date younger after dating me.

Every time a thread like this pops up, it turns out that in addition to being Ivy-educated and worth $20m, the typical DCUM poster is 45 but looks twenty years younger and is dating a hot young trainer who worships her and is dynamite in the sack.

Look, we all do it. We all daydream about lives that are sexier, more exciting, and more flattering to our vanity than the lives we actually live. But a thread like this could actually be useful if people didn't clog it up with their fantasies.

The post above is a prime example. We've all heard about the problems that Gen Z women have, but when I'm out and about I see plenty who are pretty and presentable. The Gen Z nerds are the ones who have to either settle for the weird frumps or date older. The kind of guys the PP wants us to imagine her with are the ones who get to date the pretty, presentable women their own age -- and so that's what they do. The idea that a hot twentysomething guy is waiting *months* to have sex with a 45yo, in the meantime happily buying her dinner and listening to her talk about the latest gossip from the sixth-grade moms WhatsApp group -- when he could be with a hot twentysomething woman who will sleep with him on the third date...I'm sorry, I can't even type that with a straight face. And we're supposed to believe that the PP has experienced this *multiple* times, with "all" the young men she's dated? Man oh man, this is some of the most rank BS I've ever read on this site.

As I said before, middle-aged people of both genders really need to get their vanity under control. The men, sure...but the women, too. It's embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

NP here. I’m 45 and still look pretty good. My friends are also fit and attractive.

You are kidding yourself if you look better than most 25 year olds.

I’m still married. My twice divorced friend was doing well on the dating scene post divorce. She slept with more men in one year than in 40 years combined. She had this giant ego. Then it hit her that while it is easy to have sex, it was much harder to connect. Now she is in a very bad place after partying for a few years.

Yes, this - it always boggles my mind when women think that because a man will sleep with them, it necessarily means he likes or cares about her or that it somehow correlates to how objectively attractive she is. Single guys will sleep with just about anyone who will let them. I truly think figuring this out and really internalizing it in my early 20s helped me make better choices with who I wanted to invest my time on. Of course if all you want is sex then no problem and have fun, but it doesn’t tell you much about anything else.

Yea, which is why I never sleep with a man until after a month or so. Allows him invest more emotionally and also decide whether he’s actually interested in the relationship

Do you realize you are selecting for low libido, passive men lacking in self confidence and options?

All that being willing to wait for a month means is that they don't have better options, it doesn't mean they are emotionally invested in you. After a month? That's crazy.

You are crazy and make all men look like dogs hungry for sex going around f…ing everything they can. A high L man knows how to use his hands and has self respect to date women he wants to date. Men get tired of sex with multiple women over time, and all that dating turnover

Utter and complete horse sh*t. Boning is literally all men want to do. That is it.

I know within a nano second of meeting a woman whether I want her sitting on my face. It is programmed into all of us. It's like wanting water when you are thirsty. It is primal, akin to breathing. Women will never understand this. Ever.

We are hostages to our penis.

This is loser talk.
You know what kind of men don't think of sex like breathing? Men who've never had to worry about not getting any.

Uhh, no. I see more ass than a toilet seat.

You just have low testosterone. Typical in beta males.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

NP here. I’m 45 and still look pretty good. My friends are also fit and attractive.

You are kidding yourself if you look better than most 25 year olds.

I’m still married. My twice divorced friend was doing well on the dating scene post divorce. She slept with more men in one year than in 40 years combined. She had this giant ego. Then it hit her that while it is easy to have sex, it was much harder to connect. Now she is in a very bad place after partying for a few years.

Yes, this - it always boggles my mind when women think that because a man will sleep with them, it necessarily means he likes or cares about her or that it somehow correlates to how objectively attractive she is. Single guys will sleep with just about anyone who will let them. I truly think figuring this out and really internalizing it in my early 20s helped me make better choices with who I wanted to invest my time on. Of course if all you want is sex then no problem and have fun, but it doesn’t tell you much about anything else.

Yea, which is why I never sleep with a man until after a month or so. Allows him invest more emotionally and also decide whether he’s actually interested in the relationship

Do you realize you are selecting for low libido, passive men lacking in self confidence and options?

All that being willing to wait for a month means is that they don't have better options, it doesn't mean they are emotionally invested in you. After a month? That's crazy.

You are crazy and make all men look like dogs hungry for sex going around f…ing everything they can. A high L man knows how to use his hands and has self respect to date women he wants to date. Men get tired of sex with multiple women over time, and all that dating turnover

Utter and complete horse sh*t. Boning is literally all men want to do. That is it.

I know within a nano second of meeting a woman whether I want her sitting on my face. It is programmed into all of us. It's like wanting water when you are thirsty. It is primal, akin to breathing. Women will never understand this. Ever.

We are hostages to our penis.

This is loser talk.
You know what kind of men don't think of sex like breathing? Men who've never had to worry about not getting any.

Uhh, no. I see more ass than a toilet seat.

You just have low testosterone. Typical in beta males.

See what high T did to you - I would rather be with someone low L but nice. There are toys, you know…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

The incredible thing about being 45+ is that you can just...opt out of feeling like you have to compete. I have my own money, my own home, I'm not racing a biological clock. I'm healthy and happy and confident, and it's enough to like the men who like me.

If they prefer someone half their (and my) age, great. I hope they have fun. But those women aren't competition because men aren't a prize to be won.

I wish for all women this level of confidence. All true! Kudos to you PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

I would say, photos in the studio!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

My photos prove it. Shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

My photos prove it. Shut up.

Can we take a look please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

My photos prove it. Shut up.

Another high-IQ millionaire with the body of a college girl who's dating a young stud. What, you don't believe her? She just said her pictures prove it!

[Anonymous]

My experience as a woman in her 40s who is attractive has been surprising to me. Men ages 30-60 regularly express interest. In many ways I think I am more attractive in my 40s than 20s. I have more money to look polished (and it is very expensive) and over time I have and exude more confidence). There’s also something about being a mom that men find hot (I don’t quite understand it but it’s there). If you take care of yourself physically and have a nice personality you should have no problem dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will be competing with single, never-married women half your age on apps and in clubs. Be realistic about it.

I am 46. I can compete with them any day of the week. I look better than most of them. All of it depends on attractivess level.

You are truly delusional if you think any man would ever pick a 50 year old woman over a 25 year old woman.

They might pick the 50 year old to be in a relationship with, bc there is more to a relationship than looks, but yeah - no 46 year old looks better than “most” 25 year olds. That is delusion.

Sadly most 25 year olds are very overweight. I shouldn’t look better than many if not most of them but I do. I definitely don’t look better than the 25 year old version of myself.

-NP who is 45

PP here…I don’t look better than I did at 25 but I look better than most 20s and 30s women. A woman who is average looking or overweight…and even pretty…I look better than them even if many years younger. My cousin is a decade younger and looks much older than me. I can’t compete with absolutely beautiful younger women but most are not absolutely beautiful.

I find it astonishing that people don’t understand that some people can be attractive for a very long time if good genetics and you take care of yourself.

The perpetually online crowd tends not to have a strong handle on reality.

My photos prove it. Shut up.

Can we take a look please?

I don’t have instagram. I don’t think I can put a photo on here. I am regularly mistaken for at least 10 years younger. My mom and my grandmother regularly get mistaken for 20 years younger. Most women aren’t as pretty even if they’re younger are so young isn’t necessarily better if they’re not super super drop-dead gorgeous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My experience as a woman in her 40s who is attractive has been surprising to me. Men ages 30-60 regularly express interest. In many ways I think I am more attractive in my 40s than 20s. I have more money to look polished (and it is very expensive) and over time I have and exude more confidence). There’s also something about being a mom that men find hot (I don’t quite understand it but it’s there). If you take care of yourself physically and have a nice personality you should have no problem dating.

This is why people who are still married, feels understand because they have ideas of what it should be like for 40s women based on 20 years ago, which is no longer the same scenario whatsoever

[Anonymous]

From what I have seen, women around 45 have more opportunities than they can handle. They may struggle to find a soulmate but they have no problem finding a nice, interesting man for a short or medium term relationship. Maybe they struggle if they are very introverted or very unattractive. If you only want a physical relationship with your soulmate, things are a lot harder for many, even the very attractive ones.

Things get a little tougher for women over 55 and a lot tougher for women over 60. A lot of them seem lonely to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From what I have seen, women around 45 have more opportunities than they can handle. They may struggle to find a soulmate but they have no problem finding a nice, interesting man for a short or medium term relationship. Maybe they struggle if they are very introverted or very unattractive. If you only want a physical relationship with your soulmate, things are a lot harder for many, even the very attractive ones.

Things get a little tougher for women over 55 and a lot tougher for women over 60. A lot of them seem lonely to me.

It’s messy what you said: so it’s harder if 45 yo women want a physical relationship ? This makes no sense - if a woman is truly into sex and likes men, she won’t have issues finding many contenders.
Finding a soulmate is much harder but it’s not related to physical part. It’s just harder in middle age to get along with people and live with acceptance of someone’s faults, habits, past etc.