Nanny who is "too chatty" within our community

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I knew a hateful mom that loved to gossip. We all stayed away from her.
Op just admit you are jealous and point the finger at yourself for not controlling your emotions.

The others are doing fine while you sink in the abyss

What is going on here? Are you OP's nanny? Your responses are straight up psycho. Anyone can fire a nanny at any time if things aren't working out for any reason at all. Nannies are at will employees and nothing more. If OP's relationship with her nanny is causing her distress, regardless of any other factor, by all means, OP should move on.

OP should admit she's jealous. She has to acknowledge her emotions in order to move on. She described the things she's jealous from, her nanny is great but for OPs eyes she wants to be in nanny place.
Op should admit she's jealous of that great nanny.

Or are you OK telling nanny to not do playdates, go birthdays, be social?

[Anonymous]

How many nannies have you had in the past 12 years? Because most people keep the same nanny long-term. I'm thinking the nanny isn't the problem here, OP is just crazy.

[Anonymous]

Boring. I thought this was going to be about a hot nanny who flirts with all the daddies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many nannies have you had in the past 12 years? Because most people keep the same nanny long-term. I'm thinking the nanny isn't the problem here, OP is just crazy.

No, they don’t.

[Anonymous]

4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This makes me really sad for your kid. You have a good nanny who is doing a good job. You seem insecure. Don’t make a decision you will regret. It seems like she is doing what many of us who work fulltime would love our childcare providers to do. I suggest some navel gazing before you let her go.

I agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

Not really. Within 12 years I would assume most people move to part time nannies once the youngest is in school full time. Part time nannies are much harder to keep than full time nannies. I personally don't know any family who has had a nanny for more than about 5 years, though I'm sure situations exist where the nanny is very loved by the family and they go out of their way to keep her even when they don't need her for a full time role any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

Not really. Within 12 years I would assume most people move to part time nannies once the youngest is in school full time. Part time nannies are much harder to keep than full time nannies. I personally don't know any family who has had a nanny for more than about 5 years, though I'm sure situations exist where the nanny is very loved by the family and they go out of their way to keep her even when they don't need her for a full time role any longer.

It's not about the amount of nannies.
The issue here, the main problem is OPs insecurity and jealousy. That's a BIG RED FLAG and I bet her crazy behavior and mindset scared away the other 3 nannies.

Op you really need to control your jealousy. It will hurt your child even more later on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

Not really. Within 12 years I would assume most people move to part time nannies once the youngest is in school full time. Part time nannies are much harder to keep than full time nannies. I personally don't know any family who has had a nanny for more than about 5 years, though I'm sure situations exist where the nanny is very loved by the family and they go out of their way to keep her even when they don't need her for a full time role any longer.

It's not about the amount of nannies.
The issue here, the main problem is OPs insecurity and jealousy. That's a BIG RED FLAG and I bet her crazy behavior and mindset scared away the other 3 nannies.

Op you really need to control your jealousy. It will hurt your child even more later on

Like for real, are you OP's nanny? You are way too invested in this post and overreacting.

[Anonymous]

If she is the one doing the playdates, what is the issue?

[Anonymous]

I think the nanny is borderline mentally ill. I would hire a new one. It’s not normal. People are gaslighting you but you are right to feel mad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

Not really. Within 12 years I would assume most people move to part time nannies once the youngest is in school full time. Part time nannies are much harder to keep than full time nannies. I personally don't know any family who has had a nanny for more than about 5 years, though I'm sure situations exist where the nanny is very loved by the family and they go out of their way to keep her even when they don't need her for a full time role any longer.

It's not about the amount of nannies.
The issue here, the main problem is OPs insecurity and jealousy. That's a BIG RED FLAG and I bet her crazy behavior and mindset scared away the other 3 nannies.

Op you really need to control your jealousy. It will hurt your child even more later on

OP here. I already admitted a little jealousy and sadness with re to my youngest child. Our other 3 nannies left because (1) we moved, (2) she moved to be with her family, and (3) the last (and best) retired. This is the first nanny who I've had feelings of jealousy and insecurity around. Some of it is because she's gossiped with a neighbor who reported it to me, so now I don't trust her. It's also because, unlike our other nannies, she doesn't have friends of her own or close family, and it feels like she's moving in on mine. Again, never felt this way about the other 3 nannies. They planned play dates all the time and it was appreciated. I will do some navel gazing as suggested before I make any big moves, but I just don't need someone around my house, my family and my children who makes me feel uncomfortable. Starting soon, I really just need an after school driver for a couple hours and could use the extra money to hire a full time housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

i think that OP's gut is telling her something.

Maybe it's telling her that she needs to spend more time with her children (seems like she herself has admitted that) but it also could be that the nanny is overstepping boundaries and the OP is feeling it and trying to articulate it. Something is going on.

The things OP is saying don't seem *that* bad (setting up playdates and going to bday parties is very normal for an involved nanny) but I bet there is something else going on. I wish she would give some more detail about why she feels the nanny wants to steal her youngest child, for example.

Also read/dont read the novel "the nanny." also about a nanny who makes the family her whole life, and really flips when she feels the mother trying to set up boundaries. It's horror, as a warning.

[Anonymous]

I was a young stay at home mom. I would meet young nannies who would ask me if I was a nanny because I was their age, under 25, like most of the nannies. We would get together and talk.

It can be lonely being a nanny. The sahm are usually much older than the nanny and don’t have much in common.

Since your nanny is within your age group she fits right in. Be thankful you don’t have one of those underpaid 19 year olds from another country who is using the job to party in America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 nannies in 12 years does seem like an awful lot unless they were an pairs.

Not really. Within 12 years I would assume most people move to part time nannies once the youngest is in school full time. Part time nannies are much harder to keep than full time nannies. I personally don't know any family who has had a nanny for more than about 5 years, though I'm sure situations exist where the nanny is very loved by the family and they go out of their way to keep her even when they don't need her for a full time role any longer.

It's not about the amount of nannies.
The issue here, the main problem is OPs insecurity and jealousy. That's a BIG RED FLAG and I bet her crazy behavior and mindset scared away the other 3 nannies.

Op you really need to control your jealousy. It will hurt your child even more later on

OP here. I already admitted a little jealousy and sadness with re to my youngest child. Our other 3 nannies left because (1) we moved, (2) she moved to be with her family, and (3) the last (and best) retired. This is the first nanny who I've had feelings of jealousy and insecurity around. Some of it is because she's gossiped with a neighbor who reported it to me, so now I don't trust her. It's also because, unlike our other nannies, she doesn't have friends of her own or close family, and it feels like she's moving in on mine. Again, never felt this way about the other 3 nannies. They planned play dates all the time and it was appreciated. I will do some navel gazing as suggested before I make any big moves, but I just don't need someone around my house, my family and my children who makes me feel uncomfortable. Starting soon, I really just need an after school driver for a couple hours and could use the extra money to hire a full time housekeeper.

I would find someone else due to the gossip and discomfort. Gossip is seriously disturbing behavior that is easy for someone like a nanny to fall into and not see any problem with it.

Looking at your posts, you don't sound like someone who would actually be happy as a sahm though. It probably just seems more sweet/fulfilling from the outside but you already view it as depending on your dh for income which is the biggest red flag that being sahm is not a good fit for you. Does he also have the same outlook on income? It's not a big deal to have these issues, no need to scale back on your career. I would look for a replacement when the timing is convenient.