Nanny who is "too chatty" within our community

[Anonymous]

Op you are jealous.

Your nanny takes care of your child. That's why you hired her. She takes your kid to parks, libraries, plans playdates, etc. Nanny creates the schedule according to the child's needs. And is because nanny is all day with your child and knows better.

If you are so jealous then you have bad luck with nannies. They run away from you but this one is tolerating you because nanny loves your kid.

What the fCK you want then? The nanny to hate your child??

[Anonymous]

OP, you are so jealous. Do you rather prefer the nanny to HATE your child and job?

[Anonymous]

How dare she chat with moms, seriously.

[Anonymous]

The servant shall not fraternize with her masters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound jealous as hell. You have to decide, do you want to miss out on these things experiences or quit/scale back your job?


I thought this was going to be about a nanny who is gossiping / spreading private info about your family around town. You’re upset she’s setting up play dates and accepting birthday invites…?!

+1

[Anonymous]

Grow a pair OP. Too much whining and it's only you. Everyone is doing fine and moving on.

Someday your child will escape to go drink alcohol with party friends and that's more tougher problems

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a nanny in her mid-thirties who never had kids of her own. She's pretty good but not great. We've had different nannies for 12 years now - she's better than most: she's almost always available when we need her for a later night or if we want to get away for an overnight trip she can do it. My issue is that she's starting to insert herself into what should be "my" role as a mom - like she directly plans play dates and is getting birthday party invites directly from other parents for my youngest. She sits around chatting with moms at school and extracurricular activities. I'm starting to want to just fire her and stay home with my last kid. I've never felt this way before. I actually like-to-love my job that I've spent my entire life working to create. I also hate the idea of becoming financially dependent on my spouse. Our marriage is mostly good but we've had some trials. I've just never felt this way about a nanny before, mostly because I've never had one who overstepped in this way. I also feel like she's become overly attached to my youngest, like I have this fear of her running away with my child. Again, never before in 12 years have I felt like this before.
Am I being ridiculous here? Any dealt with this?

You need to cut back on work if this is bothering you. You’re not where you need to be.

[Anonymous]

The fact is that when you have a fulltime nanny, a good fulltime nanny is going to develop a strong bond with your child. And if they're good, they're also going to take over some/many of the administrative functions usually done by the mother, like setting up playdates. This is the tradeoff you make when you decide to work and have a nanny versus be a SAHM. (You make other tradeoffs when you use daycare.) Your feelings are quite normal because no mom likes the idea of another woman being that close to her child, even as we desperately need their help! Just accept it as one of the many tradeoffs we make in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m the minority here, but I don’t think you sound unhinged. Her age and your age and just not compatible. She’s doing what a lot of people find positive behavior, but doesn’t work for you. You don’t have to deal with it. I’d find someone else. It’s okay that you match better with a younger nanny. I have a friend who got rid of her nanny because she was too pretty and made her feel insecure. It’s hard enough to work full time and raise a family. Don’t make things harder if you have control of who you hire.

Thank you. This is where I'm at. This nanny is too close to my age, doesn't have many friends of her own and isn't close to her own family and it feels like she's creeping into my life and overstepping the role that I want. I never felt like this with our last nanny who we had for many years until she retired. She planned play dates all the time and it was a non-issue. In the end, I guess I don't need any other reason to let her go other than it's not a good fit for me. And all the points about me potentially working too much and needing to cut back are probably also correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess I’m the minority here, but I don’t think you sound unhinged. Her age and your age and just not compatible. She’s doing what a lot of people find positive behavior, but doesn’t work for you. You don’t have to deal with it. I’d find someone else. It’s okay that you match better with a younger nanny. I have a friend who got rid of her nanny because she was too pretty and made her feel insecure. It’s hard enough to work full time and raise a family. Don’t make things harder if you have control of who you hire.

Thank you. This is where I'm at. This nanny is too close to my age, doesn't have many friends of her own and isn't close to her own family and it feels like she's creeping into my life and overstepping the role that I want. I never felt like this with our last nanny who we had for many years until she retired. She planned play dates all the time and it was a non-issue. In the end, I guess I don't need any other reason to let her go other than it's not a good fit for me. And all the points about me potentially working too much and needing to cut back are probably also correct.

Just stay home aalllll daaaay.

Better to be a shy nanny, with not much friends, people who has a lot of friends just are mostly haters and jealous people.

It's better to have a small circle abs not a lot of fake friends

[Anonymous]

Would you rather want your nanny to hate your kid or love her??

Which is it gonna be OP?

Stop being jealous. You hired her. All nannies are caring, plans playdates, acts like a parent because they take care of your child.

Or do you want just a ROBOT?

[Anonymous]

Beep beep robot knows how to ta a ke ca a aaare of ch I I I I I ll d d d d

[Anonymous]

What information is she sharing that you consider gossip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound unhinged. Talking to the other parents and setting up playdates is helping your kids have a more engaging social life. If you want to be a SAHM then do it, but don't blame the nanny for this situation.

+1. You think she is going to run off with your child? This goes beyond even jealousy to some kind of delusion.

[Anonymous]

Don't jump straight to SAH. I would see if you can scale back hours or find a job with better W/L balance. If it is an extreme urge to be at home maybe consider part-time. But I wouldn't SAH because I'm jealous of the nanny.

OP, I opened this thread and thought it would be about a gossipy nanny! I would love if my nanny were take-charge like yours. Be grateful she is doing a lot of the annoying "mom admin"/mental load tasks that stress a lot of moms out!