Why do some parents support Beach Week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine sister died at beach week in Ocean City and countless others were hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.

When was this! OMG! So terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

agree. If you can't trust your kid in June, then you shouldn't let him go off to college on his own.

My DS is a pretty responsible kid. I trust him. Straight A student, high stats. He's paying for it on his own with his friends. I know the kids who he is renting the house with. He even showed me the house. I am not renting it for them. They are organizing and paying for it. We are letting him take DH's car, which is 12 yrs old. He's been driving that car for 2 years. He knows if he screws up it's his future he is screwing up.

Fooled you. No one is renting a house to children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine sister died at beach week in Ocean City and countless others were hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.

Jesus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did none of you go on spring break when you were in high school? I did. As well as all my friends. It was fun. No one died. It’s a right of passage.

My kid is going. He’s paying. I hope he has a blast. He knows how to make good decisions.

No, nor did I in college. Only rich kids with privilege did that.

[Anonymous]

I went to OC during beach week with my friend group a long long time ago before cell phones. It was awesome spending time with my best friends before we headed off to college. We were all good kids though and no one got arrested, had sex with strangers, or died. My kid has a great friend group too and I imagine we will let her go once she's a senior but I think it's not unreasonable for a parent to come along and stay in a different hotel. The parent can stay away for the most part and do their own thing but is just there in case of an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Our neighbor’s kid also died at beach week,albeit she went down to NC for hers. This was when my kids were very little and I knew then that there was no way I’d ever let my kids go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

You realize t hat they are not in class 24/7, right? And spring break? Yes, kids sometimes make stupid choices. Do you think your kid is immune from making those stupid choices in two months after June while at college?

But sure, I guess controlling your kid till the very last minute gives you some reassurance.

Here’s the great thing about being a parent: we each get to make our own choices. Some of chose to give formula, some chose to nurse. Some chose public school, some chose private. Some chose to sign their kids up for sports while others chose music lessons. And some chose a combination of all these things. At the end of the day I get to decide what’s best for my kids. And you get to do the same. OP gets to do that as well. You don’t have to like my choice, and I don’t have to like yours.

I guess I’m confused as to why you have to criticize my choice or convince me I’m wrong. Why do you care what I do with my kids?

No one really cares what your parenting choices are. This is a forum where people share their opinions and ideas. If you don't want people to respond to your post with their opinions, then don't post on here.

I'm confused as to why you wouldn't trust your kid in June to be off on his own but not in September off on their own. For all you know, while they are in college, they could be going off on the weekends to a rental home with a bunch of kids so they can have their missed "beach week" doing god knows what. Three months difference.

Sending a student away to college IS NOT the same as sending them to a rental house unsupervised.

There are a NUMBER of staff who get paid to ensure the wellbeing and safety of your child while they're at college. Starting with the Resident Advisor all the way to the hierarchy of staff in Resident Services to the campus police and the overall UNIVERSITY administration.

This comparison makes no sense.

Have you sent a kid to college? No one is looking out for them or their safety. Colleges are a business. They do everything they can to disclaim liability. DC had a friend that attempted suicide. When I heard the story around why, in fact, I told the parents that they should retain counsel because they had an excellent legal case against the university whose policies contributed to the attempt.

Colleges are well known not to protect women from sexual assault. They are well known to NOT handle mental health issues and crises. They do not prevent drinking- just ban it from events to shift liability.

after 2 kids and 4 colleges, I could go on and on about how little colleges actually care about students. They are businesses and like any other business, they protect their $$$ and their prestige first and foremost.

So, yes, I let my kids go to Beach Week, because they are responsible adults. They were old enough to be on birth control, understand consent and have sex. They were not old enough to legally drink, and knew the consequences if they did and/or if they got caught. They drove and knew their responsibilities there. I made it clear that DC could be directly liable for any damages, and if he was I would not pay them.

Also, I went to Beach Week, where I drank, but not to excess, and had (safe) sex. No one died. No one got arrested. We didn’t wreck the house. To this day, 50 years later, those Beach Week mates are still my best friends and we just talked about having another Beach Week this summer, albeit in a nicer house at a nicer beach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are first gen Asian immigrants and since did not have the HS and college experience here, beach week was an alien and scary concept for ys.

What changed our minds was the group that was going together - it was a bunch of high performing kids with similar home life, good kids who were rule followers and who had worked their butts off to get into good colleges. I worried less about these kids doing something really terrible (they are nerds not thrill seekers), I worried more about road accidents or these kids being targeted by others.

I made it very clear to my own DS that he has to be safe so that his life, health, reputation and college admission is not in jeopardy. Also, a bunch of these kids were younger than 18 also, so that was a concern too. Mainly, I told me DS that his job was to make sure that there was lots of fun things to do for all of them, to take loads of pictures and share it with the parents and kids too, and to minimize the "bad". I told him that if the boys wanted to get drunk, it was better to do the heavy drinking at the house they were renting rather than a bar. Similarly, no need to go to a strip club etc. No to swimming in the ocean too (home of the shark and polluted water). No to drugs. No to "hooking up with any drunk girl". A drunk consent is no consent. Don't get mugged, shot, roofied or kidnapped. Don't get into any fights. Drive very carefully. Wear seatbelt. Do not sit in the car if the person is drunk. Call from whereever you are and we will drive and pick you up. Also, if arrested, do not say anything and ask for your parents to be called and ask for an attorney. He should carry at least $40 to give to the criminal if he got robbed. He was bug-eyed when I had this talk with him.

Anyways, they had a great time and there were other more paranoid parents who were keeping a tab on them so I ended up being the "cool" mom. Also, my kid has faith in my judgement and he is also not a wild guy. They went cautiously, had a lot of freedom and fairly PG fun...and came back safely. My kid also is a cautious guy and has been kept informed about all the ways things can go wrong so he is very aware about the dangers.

I would not have allowed him with a group of kids who were wild. But, my kid is also not someone who is friends with wild or entitled kids. The boys and girls he knows are fairly typical well-behaved, responsible kids from educated homes and have very functional family life.

LOL This is us, too. I'm a PP. My DS' friend group is mostly Asian American kids who are, for the most part, fairly tame. We had a similar talk with DS.

I will say, that unfortunately, I would be more worried for my DD. And I'm not even sure I'll let my DD who will only be 17 (late summer bday) go to beach week. I know.. it's sexist, but there it is. My parents were also way more cautious about my whereabouts than they were with my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

agree. If you can't trust your kid in June, then you shouldn't let him go off to college on his own.

My DS is a pretty responsible kid. I trust him. Straight A student, high stats. He's paying for it on his own with his friends. I know the kids who he is renting the house with. He even showed me the house. I am not renting it for them. They are organizing and paying for it. We are letting him take DH's car, which is 12 yrs old. He's been driving that car for 2 years. He knows if he screws up it's his future he is screwing up.

Fooled you. No one is renting a house to children.

Hm.. well, someone did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

Then the same should be for OP she is judgemental and should mind her own business.

If she doesn't want her kid to go fine. She has no business judging anyone who thinks it's ok to go.

OP here. Not a she. Please don't assume.

And you're right, I have no business judging. And I'm not.

But I am curious why something that on its face, seems like such a bad idea, is endorsed and in many cases funded by parents to the extent that it has become a "tradition." I am seeking information and perspective, in the event that maybe there's some critical piece of information that I'm overlooking or missing.

Because it’s rare anything bad happens.

Why not? What’s the big deal?

Rare that anything bad happens? Local law enforcement in OC and Delaware beaches would disagree.

Lol yea the cops will tell you about the 2 incidents 1 million times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine sister died at beach week in Ocean City and countless others were hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.

Jesus!

People fir all the time at the beach, this is not specific to beach week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good friend of mine sister died at beach week in Ocean City and countless others were hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.

Poor kids.

But, this type of awful thing also happens in college, especially during rush week. I hate greek life. So many kids still join these groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

I think you meant August…that’s when we send our kids off to college…several hours/states away.

I’m a MoCo native who went to Beach Week starting junior year. It’s a rite a passage. You either trust your kid or you don’t. You can’t helicopter forever. Sending them to beach week with kids you know staying in a house owned by someone you know is as safe as it gets once they launch.

[Anonymous]

In the dorm ,there is an RA to call the fire dept, ambulance etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

I think you meant August…that’s when we send our kids off to college…several hours/states away.

I’m a MoCo native who went to Beach Week starting junior year. It’s a rite a passage. You either trust your kid or you don’t. You can’t helicopter forever. Sending them to beach week with kids you know staying in a house owned by someone you know is as safe as it gets once they launch.

This. And as an extra precaution, a parent can come along and stay elsewhere.