Why do some parents support Beach Week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

You realize t hat they are not in class 24/7, right? And spring break? Yes, kids sometimes make stupid choices. Do you think your kid is immune from making those stupid choices in two months after June while at college?

But sure, I guess controlling your kid till the very last minute gives you some reassurance.

Here’s the great thing about being a parent: we each get to make our own choices. Some of chose to give formula, some chose to nurse. Some chose public school, some chose private. Some chose to sign their kids up for sports while others chose music lessons. And some chose a combination of all these things. At the end of the day I get to decide what’s best for my kids. And you get to do the same. OP gets to do that as well. You don’t have to like my choice, and I don’t have to like yours.

I guess I’m confused as to why you have to criticize my choice or convince me I’m wrong. Why do you care what I do with my kids?

No one really cares what your parenting choices are. This is a forum where people share their opinions and ideas. If you don't want people to respond to your post with their opinions, then don't post on here.

I'm confused as to why you wouldn't trust your kid in June to be off on his own but not in September off on their own. For all you know, while they are in college, they could be going off on the weekends to a rental home with a bunch of kids so they can have their missed "beach week" doing god knows what. Three months difference.

I’ve posted my opinion and you’ve posted yours. OP asked for feedback, and we’ve given it. But you seem hell bent on convincing me that my opinion is wrong. I didn’t anyone for feedback. That’s what OP did. Again, not sure why you’re so invested in arguing with those that don’t have the same opinion as you about Beach Week.

I'm not trying to convince you to send them. I really don't care. I'm just telling you that in 3 months, your kid will be off to college and could easily have beach week then without you knowing.

I'm confused as to why some parents put such a tight leash on their seniors when in a few months time they will be off to college on their own. The tighter your leash in HS the more likely they are to go nuts when they are finally free from your leash.

Just a thought.

I’m sure you can appreciate that there are varying degrees of tightening the leash and letting it go. I have two in college and one in high school. They’re all great kids, doing well and have made mistakes along the way. They’ve done and will continue to do their fair share of partying. I’m sure there are some parents that would look at how I’ve let my kids move all around DC on their own at night and think that I’m completely irresponsible and that the leash is too loose. Others have no issue with it.

Again, everyone makes the decision that is best for their family at the time. Maybe OP will have a different outlook in a few months and maybe she’ll still feel the same. We’re all just trying to do our best.
Peace.

Of course. Every parent does what they think is best. But, I know some parents who have a very tight leash on their HS senior kids. And it baffles me why they have such a tight leash when in a few months time they are going away to college. A few of the kids want to go as far away as possible and not come home on breaks because they just want to get away from their parents.

I'm not permissive, believe me. But, there is a wide range between a tight leash and being overly permissive.

Beach week of course will be full of kids partying. yes, there will be drugs, alcohol, etc.. But most of these kids who have not been on a tight leash have been exposed to these temptations before beach week, and they will be tempted at college. IMO, it's better to let them learn their limits while still here than when they are gone to college.

I will worry. I'm a worry wort. I'll probably make DC text me every night to make sure they are coherent. And if they don't I will go there and bring them back home. That's the deal.

DC has been responsible and trustworthy. Great grades. If I didn't trust DC, I wouldn't let them go. But, DC knows if they screw up, it's their future. I can only hope that I have drilled this into DC enough. I gave DC a stocking stuffer that says -- "Don't do stupid sh1t. Love mom". DC has it on their keychain.

[Anonymous]

DC went to beach week this past summer. Had a fantastic time with a close knit group of friends. One parent stayed as a chaperone the entire week. Parents met in advance to establish expectations and ground rules. It is possible for it to be a fun, memorable, safe week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

You realize t hat they are not in class 24/7, right? And spring break? Yes, kids sometimes make stupid choices. Do you think your kid is immune from making those stupid choices in two months after June while at college?

But sure, I guess controlling your kid till the very last minute gives you some reassurance.

Here’s the great thing about being a parent: we each get to make our own choices. Some of chose to give formula, some chose to nurse. Some chose public school, some chose private. Some chose to sign their kids up for sports while others chose music lessons. And some chose a combination of all these things. At the end of the day I get to decide what’s best for my kids. And you get to do the same. OP gets to do that as well. You don’t have to like my choice, and I don’t have to like yours.

I guess I’m confused as to why you have to criticize my choice or convince me I’m wrong. Why do you care what I do with my kids?

No one really cares what your parenting choices are. This is a forum where people share their opinions and ideas. If you don't want people to respond to your post with their opinions, then don't post on here.

I'm confused as to why you wouldn't trust your kid in June to be off on his own but not in September off on their own. For all you know, while they are in college, they could be going off on the weekends to a rental home with a bunch of kids so they can have their missed "beach week" doing god knows what. Three months difference.

I’ve posted my opinion and you’ve posted yours. OP asked for feedback, and we’ve given it. But you seem hell bent on convincing me that my opinion is wrong. I didn’t anyone for feedback. That’s what OP did. Again, not sure why you’re so invested in arguing with those that don’t have the same opinion as you about Beach Week.

I'm not trying to convince you to send them. I really don't care. I'm just telling you that in 3 months, your kid will be off to college and could easily have beach week then without you knowing.

I'm confused as to why some parents put such a tight leash on their seniors when in a few months time they will be off to college on their own. The tighter your leash in HS the more likely they are to go nuts when they are finally free from your leash.

Just a thought.

I’m sure you can appreciate that there are varying degrees of tightening the leash and letting it go. I have two in college and one in high school. They’re all great kids, doing well and have made mistakes along the way. They’ve done and will continue to do their fair share of partying. I’m sure there are some parents that would look at how I’ve let my kids move all around DC on their own at night and think that I’m completely irresponsible and that the leash is too loose. Others have no issue with it.

Again, everyone makes the decision that is best for their family at the time. Maybe OP will have a different outlook in a few months and maybe she’ll still feel the same. We’re all just trying to do our best.
Peace.

Of course. Every parent does what they think is best. But, I know some parents who have a very tight leash on their HS senior kids. And it baffles me why they have such a tight leash when in a few months time they are going away to college. A few of the kids want to go as far away as possible and not come home on breaks because they just want to get away from their parents.

I'm not permissive, believe me. But, there is a wide range between a tight leash and being overly permissive.

Beach week of course will be full of kids partying. yes, there will be drugs, alcohol, etc.. But most of these kids who have not been on a tight leash have been exposed to these temptations before beach week, and they will be tempted at college. IMO, it's better to let them learn their limits while still here than when they are gone to college.

I will worry. I'm a worry wort. I'll probably make DC text me every night to make sure they are coherent. And if they don't I will go there and bring them back home. That's the deal.

DC has been responsible and trustworthy. Great grades. If I didn't trust DC, I wouldn't let them go. But, DC knows if they screw up, it's their future. I can only hope that I have drilled this into DC enough. I gave DC a stocking stuffer that says -- "Don't do stupid sh1t. Love mom". DC has it on their keychain.

Sure you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC went to beach week this past summer. Had a fantastic time with a close knit group of friends. One parent stayed as a chaperone the entire week. Parents met in advance to establish expectations and ground rules. It is possible for it to be a fun, memorable, safe week.

What was the extent of the parent chaperone's involvement? Just hung out at the lodging while the kids roamed free or did the parent actually stay within earshot of the kids during all activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

Then the same should be for OP she is judgemental and should mind her own business.

If she doesn't want her kid to go fine. She has no business judging anyone who thinks it's ok to go.

OP here. Not a she. Please don't assume.

And you're right, I have no business judging. And I'm not.

But I am curious why something that on its face, seems like such a bad idea, is endorsed and in many cases funded by parents to the extent that it has become a "tradition." I am seeking information and perspective, in the event that maybe there's some critical piece of information that I'm overlooking or missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC went to beach week this past summer. Had a fantastic time with a close knit group of friends. One parent stayed as a chaperone the entire week. Parents met in advance to establish expectations and ground rules. It is possible for it to be a fun, memorable, safe week.

What was the extent of the parent chaperone's involvement? Just hung out at the lodging while the kids roamed free or did the parent actually stay within earshot of the kids during all activities?

One of my sons was friends with some kids insane moms so we got a house a block away.

They had a 2 am curfew and one parent went over to check them in. Otherwise not much else was done. It was silly.

One year I was staying in OC the week of beach week and I brought my niece and her friend subs from Anthony”s. They didn’t really party so it was just fun to see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

Then the same should be for OP she is judgemental and should mind her own business.

If she doesn't want her kid to go fine. She has no business judging anyone who thinks it's ok to go.

OP here. Not a she. Please don't assume.

And you're right, I have no business judging. And I'm not.

But I am curious why something that on its face, seems like such a bad idea, is endorsed and in many cases funded by parents to the extent that it has become a "tradition." I am seeking information and perspective, in the event that maybe there's some critical piece of information that I'm overlooking or missing.

Because it’s rare anything bad happens.

Why not? What’s the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Did none of you go on spring break when you were in high school? I did. As well as all my friends. It was fun. No one died. It’s a right of passage.

My kid is going. He’s paying. I hope he has a blast. He knows how to make good decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

Then the same should be for OP she is judgemental and should mind her own business.

If she doesn't want her kid to go fine. She has no business judging anyone who thinks it's ok to go.

OP here. Not a she. Please don't assume.

And you're right, I have no business judging. And I'm not.

But I am curious why something that on its face, seems like such a bad idea, is endorsed and in many cases funded by parents to the extent that it has become a "tradition." I am seeking information and perspective, in the event that maybe there's some critical piece of information that I'm overlooking or missing.

Because it’s rare anything bad happens.

Why not? What’s the big deal?

Rare that anything bad happens? Local law enforcement in OC and Delaware beaches would disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did none of you go on spring break when you were in high school? I did. As well as all my friends. It was fun. No one died. It’s a right of passage.

My kid is going. He’s paying. I hope he has a blast. He knows how to make good decisions.

Didn't do spring break travel without my parents until I was in college.

What kind of money were you making in high school that you could fund weeklong vacations?

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids turned 18 in August after graduation. We didn't let them go because we didn't want to get a call to bail them out of jail, or whatever, in the middle of the night and have to drive hours to do it.

We told them once they turned 18 they could go to any beach they wanted with whoever they wanted. By that time they were over it and on to other things.

No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of my kids turned 18 in August after graduation. We didn't let them go because we didn't want to get a call to bail them out of jail, or whatever, in the middle of the night and have to drive hours to do it.

We told them once they turned 18 they could go to any beach they wanted with whoever they wanted. By that time they were over it and on to other things.

No regrets.

Yup. That's pretty much my thought process as well.

[Anonymous]

We are first gen Asian immigrants and since did not have the HS and college experience here, beach week was an alien and scary concept for ys.

What changed our minds was the group that was going together - it was a bunch of high performing kids with similar home life, good kids who were rule followers and who had worked their butts off to get into good colleges. I worried less about these kids doing something really terrible (they are nerds not thrill seekers), I worried more about road accidents or these kids being targeted by others.

I made it very clear to my own DS that he has to be safe so that his life, health, reputation and college admission is not in jeopardy. Also, a bunch of these kids were younger than 18 also, so that was a concern too. Mainly, I told me DS that his job was to make sure that there was lots of fun things to do for all of them, to take loads of pictures and share it with the parents and kids too, and to minimize the "bad". I told him that if the boys wanted to get drunk, it was better to do the heavy drinking at the house they were renting rather than a bar. Similarly, no need to go to a strip club etc. No to swimming in the ocean too (home of the shark and polluted water). No to drugs. No to "hooking up with any drunk girl". A drunk consent is no consent. Don't get mugged, shot, roofied or kidnapped. Don't get into any fights. Drive very carefully. Wear seatbelt. Do not sit in the car if the person is drunk. Call from whereever you are and we will drive and pick you up. Also, if arrested, do not say anything and ask for your parents to be called and ask for an attorney. He should carry at least $40 to give to the criminal if he got robbed. He was bug-eyed when I had this talk with him.

Anyways, they had a great time and there were other more paranoid parents who were keeping a tab on them so I ended up being the "cool" mom. Also, my kid has faith in my judgement and he is also not a wild guy. They went cautiously, had a lot of freedom and fairly PG fun...and came back safely. My kid also is a cautious guy and has been kept informed about all the ways things can go wrong so he is very aware about the dangers.

I would not have allowed him with a group of kids who were wild. But, my kid is also not someone who is friends with wild or entitled kids. The boys and girls he knows are fairly typical well-behaved, responsible kids from educated homes and have very functional family life.

[Anonymous]

I went to beach weekend with one friend. She and i stayed in a condo. Walked to the beach. Ate pizza and ice cream. Shopped and stayed away from the drunk kids. It was pretty much a fun short road trop for us. Depends on your kids.

[Anonymous]

A good friend of mine sister died at beach week in Ocean City and countless others were hospitalized due to excessive alcohol consumption.