Why do some parents support Beach Week?

[Anonymous]

I just got into a disagreement with my HS senior because for the....umpteenth time, I said no to him going to Beach Week. He tried to use the fact that a family friend of ours is letting their son go to Beach Week, as if that should mean we should do the same for him.

My first prompt to him was "Who's he going with?" to which he couldn't answer.

But it just boggles my mind that parents PAY MONEY to leave their 17 or 18-year-old kid alone in a house or hotel room with a bunch of other people that same age for a WEEK, and think it's a good idea? How or why? I obviously am under no illusions that teens can't or won't try to find ways to have drugs, sex or drink, by why PAY for them to do so with a free pass? That's insane to me.

He's trying to make me feel like I'm the bad guy, but what am I missing? Why is sending your senior to Beach Week a good idea??

[Anonymous]

What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

agree. If you can't trust your kid in June, then you shouldn't let him go off to college on his own.

My DS is a pretty responsible kid. I trust him. Straight A student, high stats. He's paying for it on his own with his friends. I know the kids who he is renting the house with. He even showed me the house. I am not renting it for them. They are organizing and paying for it. We are letting him take DH's car, which is 12 yrs old. He's been driving that car for 2 years. He knows if he screws up it's his future he is screwing up.

[Anonymous]

First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

[Anonymous]

Our son is going with a group of friends plus my husband (they can't get the house without a real adult). Have you considered that compromise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

This x100
I was not thrilled about beach week when my (now college freshman) went last June but I realized that in 2 months he will be living on his own and every day could be a "beach week" scenario if he decided it to be. I trust him and the time had arrived for me to show him that I did. If not, why would I then be comfortable sending him off to college in a couple short months?

Plus, regarding OP's question about paying for beach week, do not assume that I paid.

[Anonymous]

One other thing to think about: June is 5 months away. While only 5 months so much shifts in that time for most seniors. I am not saying that all of a sudden they do not do stupid things, but they really do grow between now and HS graduation (and it is astonishing how far they come between now and starting their first semester at college). In making decisions about Beach Week just keep in mind that you are looking at things through the lense of January when by this coming June things very well can look and feel quite different.

[Anonymous]

Will he be 18?

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. You’re only 17 and 18 once in your life so enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

I also paid for the Canada trip.

I also paid for my kids to go to our condo in CO with friends during spring break.

Why is beach week any different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

You realize t hat they are not in class 24/7, right? And spring break? Yes, kids sometimes make stupid choices. Do you think your kid is immune from making those stupid choices in two months after June while at college?

But sure, I guess controlling your kid till the very last minute gives you some reassurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son is going with a group of friends plus my husband (they can't get the house without a real adult). Have you considered that compromise?

Beyond wierd.

[Anonymous]

maybe another perspective
my kid went to beach week last summer and by the 4th day was sun burned and over it; tired of the mess of the house and the drama with her friends
if I had not let her go she would have idealized the entire concept and who knows how that would have played out come the start of college
sometimes it really is better to let them experience things and realize that reality is not always like it seems on social media

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, stop getting into these discussions with your kid. He’s reporting what he thinks is going on with some other kid. Who cares? He’s still in your house and you’re not okay with it. Case closed.

As for the posters that say, “Well, what do you think will be happening in a few months after that? They will be going to college where parents won’t be there.” They’ll also be going to classes. There will be other things to do besides drink and hang out. And maybe OP’s kid will make some good choices and maybe he’ll make some stupid choices. She’ll let go and let that happen when the time comes in August. It’s still not a reason to support beach week if you don’t want to. It’s not up to you to convince your son or anyone here that this is where you stand. It’s just where you are.

You realize t hat they are not in class 24/7, right? And spring break? Yes, kids sometimes make stupid choices. Do you think your kid is immune from making those stupid choices in two months after June while at college?

But sure, I guess controlling your kid till the very last minute gives you some reassurance.

Here’s the great thing about being a parent: we each get to make our own choices. Some of chose to give formula, some chose to nurse. Some chose public school, some chose private. Some chose to sign their kids up for sports while others chose music lessons. And some chose a combination of all these things. At the end of the day I get to decide what’s best for my kids. And you get to do the same. OP gets to do that as well. You don’t have to like my choice, and I don’t have to like yours.

I guess I’m confused as to why you have to criticize my choice or convince me I’m wrong. Why do you care what I do with my kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you think he will be doing in September vs June?

If he does those things at a university, the university has protocol, campus police and structures to hold him liable and accountable and they in turn, can be held liable if they fail to do their responsibility in caring for him.

No one assumes any liability for a bunch of unsupervised teens at a hotel room or rented house. It's on....the parents who rented that for them.