Reply to Why do some parents support Beach Week?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are first gen Asian immigrants  and since did not have the HS and college experience here, beach week was an alien and scary concept for ys.

What changed our minds was the group that was going together - it was a bunch of high performing kids with similar home life, good kids who were rule followers and who had worked their butts off to get into good colleges.  I worried less about these kids doing something really terrible (they are nerds not thrill seekers), I worried more about road accidents or these kids being targeted by others.

I made it very clear to my own DS that he has to be safe so that his life, health, reputation and college admission is not in jeopardy.  Also, a bunch of these kids were younger than 18 also, so that was a concern too.  Mainly, I told me DS that his job was to make sure that there was lots of fun things to do for all of them, to take loads of pictures and share it with the parents and kids too, and to minimize the "bad".  I told him that if the boys wanted to get drunk, it was better to do the heavy drinking at the house they were renting rather than a bar.  Similarly, no need to go to a strip club etc.  No to swimming in the ocean too (home of the shark and polluted water).   No to drugs. No to "hooking up with any drunk girl".  A drunk consent is no consent.  Don't get mugged, shot, roofied or kidnapped.  Don't get into any fights.  Drive very carefully. Wear seatbelt.  Do not sit in the car if the person is drunk. Call from whereever you are and we will drive and pick you up. Also, if arrested, do not say anything and ask for your parents to be called and ask for an attorney.  He should carry at least $40 to give to the criminal if he got robbed.  [b] He was bug-eyed when I had this talk with him. [/b]

Anyways, they had a great time and there were other more paranoid parents who were keeping a tab on them so I ended up being the "cool" mom.  Also, my kid has faith in my judgement and he is also not a wild guy. They went cautiously, had a lot of freedom and fairly PG fun...and came back safely.   My kid also is  a cautious guy and has been kept informed about all the ways things can go wrong so he is very aware about the dangers.

I would not have allowed him with a group of kids who were wild.  But, my kid is also not someone who is friends with wild or entitled kids. The boys and girls he knows are fairly typical well-behaved, responsible kids from educated homes and have very functional family life. [/quote]
LOL This is us, too.  I'm a PP.  My DS' friend group is mostly Asian American kids who are, for the most part, fairly tame.  We had a similar talk with DS.

I will say, that unfortunately, I would be more worried for my DD.  And I'm not even sure I'll let my DD who will only be 17 (late summer bday) go to beach week. I know.. it's sexist, but there it is. My parents were also way more cautious about my whereabouts than they were with my brother.  [/quote]

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