In tears about my daughter

[Anonymous]

I majored in English at Princeton and did great idk the issue here. You can basically major in anything at Princeton and be fine.

[Anonymous]

I hope the part that you're "in tears" about is the part where your daughter cuts you out of her life and you never get to see your grandchildren, because that's where this is heading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re not a troll, did you ask your kid what they plan to do with a degree in English? Maybe you can brainstorm together. Otherwise, your kid has called your bluff, and both of you must live with the consequences.

FWIW, my DH and I have BA degrees from an Ivy. We are doing fine.

OP here. She told me she wants to “go into publishing” and “get an MFA in creative writing” down the line. While we are full-pay, we CANNOT afford to bankroll her after graduation. I keep telling her that publishing and MFA programs are for rich kids, but she won’t listen!

Full pay? You are rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister was an English major. She makes $500K as a hospital administrator.

My husband too - and has a master's in English. He makes $500K+ at a big bank. And he didn't even go to an Ivy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right about the MFA programs OP, BUT you just wasted a lot of credibility trying to make your dd major in certain subjects or cut her off.

I think it's reasonable to pay for most undergrad degrees, including English, but for parents not to pay for grad school. Tell her you will compromise by paying for whatever major she wants right now, but will not pay for grad school or professional school in any major, no matter what it is. (MFA, Medicine, Law, etc..)

Getting a full pay undergrad degree with no loans is unusual now, so she will be ahead of the game already. And no matter what she wants to do post graduate, she will have to find a way to pay for it. Seems like a good compromise that will make her think.

OP here. We have already told her that we won’t be paying for grad school (we told her this in HS) and won’t be bankrolling her after graduation.

What grades is she earning to date? Does she master stem subjects or humanities subjects more easily?

She is a freshman so no grades. In HS she was better at humanities, but I attribute that to grade inflation more than anything else.

She has no grades for anything by November? I think she is not telling you the truth. My freshman has had plenty of graded exams, labs and other work by this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will set her up for life is agency, not a certain degree or amount of money. Go read The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Madeline Levine.

OP here. That’s bullshit. Am employable major with a fantastic alumni network (yes, PP was correct she’s at Princeton, which has a phenomenal alumni network) is WAY more likely to set her up for success than “agency.”

I also speak from personal experience. DH went to WM and graduated as a History major with a lot of on-campus involvement. Because of his major, he wasn’t able to find a job after graduation. He bartender for a while and eventually went to law school — the only real option for humanities majors.

So I’m speaking from personal experience.

The reason your DH was underemployed after college had very little to do with his major. There are, always have been, and will be broad swaths of the job market that require a bachelors degree, major unimportant. Entry level jobs where you have the potential to grow, and if you then get a graduate degree in a few years you’ll grow more quickly.

I majored in English at a prestigious school. Went into public health, got a MPH a few years later. Now director level in my organization doing meaningful and interesting work and making a perfectly fine living. Do I scare you, OP? Is my life path so frightening that you’d destroy your relation with your daughter rather than let her follow it?

[Anonymous]

How sad you don't understand critical thinking and writing skills are in greater demand than ever, OP.

[Anonymous]

Please get therapy OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please explain why you, not only need her to stay, but NEED her to stay? Why?

OP here. Having the double whammy of both an employable major AND the Ivy name-brand will set her up well for the rest of her life, especially in finance or tech.

Tell that to the people who got laid off at Twitter. Nothing is sustainable if she hates it. Tech employees work like slaves even if they well paid. Most of the jobs are boring AF. It’s her life to live. Plus English majors are more interesting. Team DD!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How sad you don't understand critical thinking and writing skills are in greater demand than ever, OP.

+ 1.

My dad is an English professor at a very good university.

I know an English major with an excellent job in CS because language is language.

I have great sympathy for your daughter and I wish her well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please explain why you, not only need her to stay, but NEED her to stay? Why?

OP here. Having the double whammy of both an employable major AND the Ivy name-brand will set her up well for the rest of her life, especially in finance or tech.

Wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, just let her major in whatever she wants, and shift your focus to marrying her off to someone wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just let her major in whatever she wants, and shift your focus to marrying her off to someone wealthy.

OP probably has already laid out that they will not participate in paying for any wedding unless the finance has a certain net worth and is employed in stem.

[Anonymous]

My SIL was a French History major at a SLAC - no MBA. She works in comms and marketing for Google after selling her small PR firm. She makes significantly more than my Ivy educated PhD engineer husband. She’s not even particularly ambitious.

[Anonymous]

College isn’t trade school. English major can change who a person is, beyond imagining.