In tears about my daughter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with an English major?? You are ridiculous, OP.

Truly. English major here - making $250k in a job I absolutely love. English major doesn’t mean skulking around in thread-bare tweed jackets making poverty wages.

you skated by probably when degrees weren't required , society doesn't put up with this major anymore

[Anonymous]

Bad troll. Everyone knows that consulting firms hire English majors from target schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to bother to read this entire thread.

You have lost this battle and given your child is successful at a very good school, you probably shouldn't have started the battle to start.

I suspect you want to "save face". If so, why not require her to take out some loans each year to have some skin in the game.

(Not what I would do....but I'm meeting you where you are)

OP here. Don't care at all about saving face -- just about my DD's livelihood.

Having her take out the FAFSA maximum (IIRC it's $30k for all four years, so not a lot) is an excellent idea. I will tell her tonight.

If you’re worried about her livelihood, perhaps you shouldn’t destroy her relationship with you. (I guess that’s less important than status and prestige?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with an English major?? You are ridiculous, OP.

Truly. English major here - making $250k in a job I absolutely love. English major doesn’t mean skulking around in thread-bare tweed jackets making poverty wages.

you skated by probably when degrees weren't required , society doesn't put up with this major anymore

Calling troll on this post, too. Society not only “puts up with” English majors, it actively seeks them out. Guess who knows how to effectively communicate? How many companies woefully lack people with these skills?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College tuition is a gift. You don't attach strings to a gift.

For OP it’s an investment, though. And her daughter isn’t performing.

Its not an investment. Money spent on your children is NOT an investment.
Why would you OP want to saddle your DD with $30K in debt when you already think she will have a tough time getting a job (I disagree but you clearly do not). You are just not listening at all to these 20+ pages of posters. NO ONE agrees with you. I truly feel badly for your DD and am proud of her for finding out what she loves and is good at and pursuing it. I could not have been easy to tell you (if you are not a troll).

I have news for you I was in tears about my college aged daughter last night. You know why? Because she is having serious roommate issues and is having a relapse of an eating disorder. That is reason to be tears for your DD not because she doesn't want to be a doctor or banker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman at an Ivy. We told her that we would only pay for three majors:

1. Econ/Stats/Applied Math with intentions of going into business (finance and consulting firms love her school)
2. CS with intentions of going into tech
3. Any major as long as she completes the 11 required courses to get into med school

My daughter told me last night over the phone that she plans on majoring in English (??!!!!) with no plans to complete the required pre-med classes. We told her that we wouldn’t pay for her college tuition going forward because English is NOT an employable major. She then told me that she’s okay with going to a cheap community college because apparently to her, “doing what she loves is more important than going to an Ivy.”

Help! What do we do? We NEED her to stay at an Ivy, and we are full-pay; it’s a sacrifice, but it’s worth it. But we also NEED her to major in something employable. We are in despair. Please help.

PS: I know someone is going to suggest law school. DH is a lawyer and has told DD that he’d rather see her unemployed before becoming a lawyer (besides, I think my daughter’s temperament would be ill-suited to law).

Is this some kind of psychological experiment, to see what it takes to get us to post something so angry that it will get us banned?

[Anonymous]

You know, I saw kids whose parents treated them like an investment and it out them under severe psychological pressure. A few of them totally cracked or turned to drinking. I had a.friend who was absolutely terrified to tell her parents when she needed to transfer out if the engineering school. Literally shaking in fear.

Just saying, are you willing to destroy your child in a quest to get a return on that "investment"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know, I saw kids whose parents treated them like an investment and it out them under severe psychological pressure. A few of them totally cracked or turned to drinking. I had a.friend who was absolutely terrified to tell her parents when she needed to transfer out if the engineering school. Literally shaking in fear.

Just saying, are you willing to destroy your child in a quest to get a return on that "investment"?

Most people view college as an investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad troll. Everyone knows that consulting firms hire English majors from target schools.

Not true. Googling MBB/Deloitte hires from Princeton in recent years shows that the vast majority of them are Econ or STEM majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College tuition is a gift. You don't attach strings to a gift.

For OP it’s an investment, though. And her daughter isn’t performing.

Nearly everyone except for the ultra-wealthy view college as an investment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with an English major?? You are ridiculous, OP.

Truly. English major here - making $250k in a job I absolutely love. English major doesn’t mean skulking around in thread-bare tweed jackets making poverty wages.

you skated by probably when degrees weren't required , society doesn't put up with this major anymore

Calling troll on this post, too. Society not only “puts up with” English majors, it actively seeks them out. Guess who knows how to effectively communicate? How many companies woefully lack people with these skills?

+1 At work, we see a lot of very poorly worded documents with numerous spelling errors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a freshman at an Ivy. We told her that we would only pay for three majors:

1. Econ/Stats/Applied Math with intentions of going into business (finance and consulting firms love her school)
2. CS with intentions of going into tech
3. Any major as long as she completes the 11 required courses to get into med school

My daughter told me last night over the phone that she plans on majoring in English (??!!!!) with no plans to complete the required pre-med classes. We told her that we wouldn’t pay for her college tuition going forward because English is NOT an employable major. She then told me that she’s okay with going to a cheap community college because apparently to her, “doing what she loves is more important than going to an Ivy.”

Help! What do we do? We NEED her to stay at an Ivy, and we are full-pay; it’s a sacrifice, but it’s worth it. But we also NEED her to major in something employable. We are in despair. Please help.

PS: I know someone is going to suggest law school. DH is a lawyer and has told DD that he’d rather see her unemployed before becoming a lawyer (besides, I think my daughter’s temperament would be ill-suited to law).

Is this some kind of psychological experiment, to see what it takes to get us to post something so angry that it will get us banned?

Apparently it wasn’t enough so she piled on later with the DCUM catnip that is “$450K a year in an area as expensive as the DMV with a significant amount of student loan debt for DH (and a little bit for me) is not wealthy at all.”🫠

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I saw kids whose parents treated them like an investment and it out them under severe psychological pressure. A few of them totally cracked or turned to drinking. I had a.friend who was absolutely terrified to tell her parents when she needed to transfer out if the engineering school. Literally shaking in fear.

Just saying, are you willing to destroy your child in a quest to get a return on that "investment"?

Most people view college as an investment.

People who are placed under enormous pressure often require meds for a lifetime and/or have severe emotional issues. Not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know, I saw kids whose parents treated them like an investment and it out them under severe psychological pressure. A few of them totally cracked or turned to drinking. I had a.friend who was absolutely terrified to tell her parents when she needed to transfer out if the engineering school. Literally shaking in fear.

Just saying, are you willing to destroy your child in a quest to get a return on that "investment"?

Most people view college as an investment.

Treating college as an investment is very different from treating your child as an investment. Yanking college tuition when your kid is already in school and going to have difficulties is not treating college as an investment.

And forcing a square peg into a round hole isn't a good investment either.

[Anonymous]

This is a troll but I forever regret my practical business degree. You know what happens to people who are forced into degrees? They fail at them. I was never going to succeed at a big consulting firm because it’s 100% not who I am.

I’m a very happy six-figure writer now. My only regret is the wasted years and that I didn’t get to study what I loved in college. It’s such a short time of life where you get to focus on your interests without the pressure of having to earn an income. I’d give anything to take those English and Art classes now.