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In tears about my daughter
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Anonymous
| OP, you’ve set your terms and your daughter has made her choice. Invest the money you’re saving by not paying for private college and either gift it to her later or let her inherit when you die. If you want an Ivy League engineering degree, apply for it yourself. |
Anonymous
Most parents can’t pay for a BA in anything. |
Anonymous
| I went to an ivy (ages ago) and my roommate’s parents had similar insane rules. She just lied to them. Twenty years later, she’s doing just fine. Her parents just missed out on having a good relationship with her for years. I understand that your controlling is coming from a place of fear/love, but you’re going to lose out on a lot if you stick to it. It’s really hard to change if this is how you were raised but maybe try to learn to sit with the fear of not being able to control the outcome here. I truly do wish you the best of luck. |
Anonymous
| OP here. The other thing too is that we told DD in high school that we are NOT co-signing any loans and we are NEVER taking out Parent Plus Loans. If she goes to community college and then transfers to a four-year, she will have to take out private loans for the last two years as we make too much to qualify for financial aid at any of the VA publics. But obviously we would never take out private loans/Parent Plus Loans. |
Anonymous
|
Oh boy! Maybe you are a troll but I know parents like this so maybe you are for real. This is a crazy attitude to have. Your love and acceptance comes with strings.
I told DD 20 that she should consider employability when picking a major but ultimately it was up to her. She doesn’t need my permission or approval about her major or anything else. She is an adult and I respect her autonomy. She has to live with her choices not me. So it’s not fair for me to make them for her. Few people know if they will like the career they major in until they get out there anyway. Many people work in a different field entirely. I respect your daughter for standing up to you! |
Anonymous
| Tell her to be a double-major. |
Anonymous
OP here. Hopefully this doesn’t dox her, but her school doesn’t allow double-majors. |
Anonymous
There is nothing reasonable about your guidelines. Nothing at all. |
Anonymous
| The guy who wrote the game of thrones books did an English degree at Northwestern. Seemed to work out ok for him. |
Anonymous
|
Your efforts to control and micromanage her life were bound to fail at some point. You see her as a commodity, not a person with value.
Crying because you are losing a bit of control over another adult human is pathetic. She is her own person. |
Anonymous
| It is so much better to be a straight A English major at an Ivy THEN after college there are programs to take pre-med requirements where you can get A’s. Trying to get an A in organic chemistry at an Ivy when you would rather study English at 18 or 19 is not a good idea. If she gets C’s on ochem you can forget about med school. |
Anonymous
I remember same story from the student point of view. |
Anonymous
Show me one study where a majority, “most” parents are not willing (vs. unable) to not for a BA in English? I think you are operating under a false premise. |
Anonymous
Wrong. |
Anonymous
Will you pay for her cheaper college if she transfers out of the ivy to study English or she just on her own at that point? Also, do you put a requirement on the grades earned as well? What is her current gpa and is it acceptable to you? I do think en English major from an ivy would be very employable relative to an English major from a community college. |