Atheist bil won’t allow 3 year old nephew to receive a gift during holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mail gifts to the kids who may receive them ahead of time, and enjoy a time of family, food and fun without gifts.

My mom said that even though it will kill her not to have Larlo included, she’s not going to stop something she enjoys and has done for years. All the grandkids look forward to it. We have 2 new babies this year that get First Christmas ornaments from the cousins as well, they make the ornaments by hand before we eat and wrap them for the mom and dad to open. We love to look back at these memories.

That’s really gross that you are choosing to focus on gift—which this child cannot participate in—instead of mailing gifts ahead of time and focusing on conversation, food, and cousin time.

Really gross.

-Christian who would never do that to my SIL’s kids who do not celebrate Christmas

+1

Yes, it is pretty gross behavior.

[Anonymous]

You’re worried about the wrong thing. You should be worried about your sister. There is no way this is the only thing he’s rigid, unbending, and dismissive of his wife’s wishes about. This is likely an abusive relationship. Find some time to talk to her in a non judgmental way about her relationship and how she’s doing in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all have to contribute to a $25 gift? That’s weird too.

Lots of grandkids. Mom can’t buy gifts for all on her budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re worried about the wrong thing. You should be worried about your sister. There is no way this is the only thing he’s rigid, unbending, and dismissive of his wife’s wishes about. This is likely an abusive relationship. Find some time to talk to her in a non judgmental way about her relationship and how she’s doing in it.

I don’t get the sense OP actually cares about her sister.

[Anonymous]

Cousins are all going to assume the kid is on the naughty list.

[Anonymous]

BIL and his family are choosing to come and spend time with family at a time of year when people can actually get together. Kudos to him for valuing family time and making sure his child gets cousin time.

Boo to the rest of you for being so focused on what Christmas is NOT ABOUT—material gifts—and essentially using that as a stick to try to beat him into submission and conformity. You’re doing this knowing full well it will hurt the feelings of a CHILD.

You can mail Christmas gifts to kids who celebrate Christmas ahead of time.

Your atheist BIL knows more about the spirit of Christmas and the teachings of Christ than you do: love one another, help people feel included, break bread together, do not focus on material things. If you actually follow Christ, you would know material things are not what Christianity is about, at all.

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why atheists suck.

Religious nonchristians as well? Or just atheists?

Religious non-Christians wouldn’t act like this if they married into a Christian family. No way.

Atheists don’t act this way either! I mean, I’m an atheist and if he happy for OP’s parent to give my kids at Christmas. The point is that this is a stupid generalization to try to fit a pretty unusual situation (which may not even be real).

It’s real and awful. I am dreading this get together now. It’s usually a great event. Mt Larlo will probably blow and am hoping bil keeps his mouth closed about how Santa isn’t real. Elderly mother is going to have to be sedated.

Elderly mother will have to be sedated? You’re making it really hard for us to buy into this story, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re worried about the wrong thing. You should be worried about your sister. There is no way this is the only thing he’s rigid, unbending, and dismissive of his wife’s wishes about. This is likely an abusive relationship. Find some time to talk to her in a non judgmental way about her relationship and how she’s doing in it.

I know, and it’s upsetting. Nobody has the guts to say anything because we don’t want to upset her or him and not see them. They live a few states over and we only see them face to face at this party. I don’t want to ruin it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why atheists suck.

Religious nonchristians as well? Or just atheists?

Religious non-Christians wouldn’t act like this if they married into a Christian family. No way.

Atheists don’t act this way either! I mean, I’m an atheist and if he happy for OP’s parent to give my kids at Christmas. The point is that this is a stupid generalization to try to fit a pretty unusual situation (which may not even be real).

It’s real and awful. I am dreading this get together now. It’s usually a great event. Mt Larlo will probably blow and am hoping bil keeps his mouth closed about how Santa isn’t real. Elderly mother is going to have to be sedated.

Elderly mother will have to be sedated? You’re making it really hard for us to buy into this story, OP.

That was sarcasm but also wishful thinking. Do you have an elderly mother who loves her grandchildren? Do you have a clue how much a grandma can adore a grandchild, and want to see a grandchild happy at Christmas? Seriously, if you don’t, you will someday and understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL and his family are choosing to come and spend time with family at a time of year when people can actually get together. Kudos to him for valuing family time and making sure his child gets cousin time.

Boo to the rest of you for being so focused on what Christmas is NOT ABOUT—material gifts—and essentially using that as a stick to try to beat him into submission and conformity. You’re doing this knowing full well it will hurt the feelings of a CHILD.

You can mail Christmas gifts to kids who celebrate Christmas ahead of time.

Your atheist BIL knows more about the spirit of Christmas and the teachings of Christ than you do: love one another, help people feel included, break bread together, do not focus on material things. If you actually follow Christ, you would know material things are not what Christianity is about, at all.

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

pp, Santa and Jesus are not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re worried about the wrong thing. You should be worried about your sister. There is no way this is the only thing he’s rigid, unbending, and dismissive of his wife’s wishes about. This is likely an abusive relationship. Find some time to talk to her in a non judgmental way about her relationship and how she’s doing in it.

I know, and it’s upsetting. Nobody has the guts to say anything because we don’t want to upset her or him and not see them. They live a few states over and we only see them face to face at this party. I don’t want to ruin it.

Maybe grandma should visit them sometime. She can even bring a gift.

[Anonymous]

gullible people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:BIL and his family are choosing to come and spend time with family at a time of year when people can actually get together. Kudos to him for valuing family time and making sure his child gets cousin time.

Boo to the rest of you for being so focused on what Christmas is NOT ABOUT—material gifts—and essentially using that as a stick to try to beat him into submission and conformity. You’re doing this knowing full well it will hurt the feelings of a CHILD.

You can mail Christmas gifts to kids who celebrate Christmas ahead of time.

Your atheist BIL knows more about the spirit of Christmas and the teachings of Christ than you do: love one another, help people feel included, break bread together, do not focus on material things. If you actually follow Christ, you would know material things are not what Christianity is about, at all.

Matthew 6:19-21
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

pp, Santa and Jesus are not the same.

This thread is in the Religion forum. It is about the celebration of a Christian holiday. OP and her mom are turning up their noses at BIL, who is more than willing to have a family get together and celebrate cousin time, games, food, family…just not gifts exchanged for a religious holiday he and his kids do not celebrate. OP and her mom pushing this point is not Christ-like. If this was in Family Relationships or Off-Topic, you might have a leg to stand on, but here we are in Religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why atheists suck.

Religious nonchristians as well? Or just atheists?

Religious non-Christians wouldn’t act like this if they married into a Christian family. No way.

Atheists don’t act this way either! I mean, I’m an atheist and if he happy for OP’s parent to give my kids at Christmas. The point is that this is a stupid generalization to try to fit a pretty unusual situation (which may not even be real).

It’s real and awful. I am dreading this get together now. It’s usually a great event. Mt Larlo will probably blow and am hoping bil keeps his mouth closed about how Santa isn’t real. Elderly mother is going to have to be sedated.

Elderly mother will have to be sedated? You’re making it really hard for us to buy into this story, OP.

That was sarcasm but also wishful thinking. Do you have an elderly mother who loves her grandchildren? Do you have a clue how much a grandma can adore a grandchild, and want to see a grandchild happy at Christmas? Seriously, if you don’t, you will someday and understand.

Grandma is a grown woman. She has lots of grandchildren. She should know by now that not everyone gets everything they want at Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all have to contribute to a $25 gift? That’s weird too.

Lots of grandkids. Mom can’t buy gifts for all on her budget.

Grandma should just buy for the grandkids or kids under 18 and her kids without kids.

Get the kid a gift in generic wrapping paper.