If my teenager gets a job during his time with Dad . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

[Anonymous]

The dad already said yes FFS! Is the mom supposed to say no and take the blame when the dad has alreaady said yes? And keep it a secret from the kid that she's only doing that because dad's too much of a weenie to say no? Come on. What sort of message does that send about the dad being an actual parent?

There really isn't any way around parenting your child. You can't make someone else do it for you. You can try, but it just doesn't work that way.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I don't know where people are getting that I said yes, or told him to get a job.

I told him he could only get a job if he could work around his commitments, including both church with dad and visitation with Dad on that list, and I thought that was impossible. He decided to "work around"visitation with his Dad by asking if he could count his time as visitation. He didn't ask me before asking dad or finding the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I don't know where people are getting that I said yes, or told him to get a job.

I told him he could only get a job if he could work around his commitments, including both church with dad and visitation with Dad on that list, and I thought that was impossible. He decided to "work around"visitation with his Dad by asking if he could count his time as visitation. He didn't ask me before asking dad or finding the job.

He asked you about a job and you said yes. Dad probably assumed you owed it. So, either let him work and stop the visits or tell the kid no to the job. Simple. He clearly knows how to manipulate. And you and dad are not parenting together so he can easily play both of you. Creative kid. He can always find a job. If you did not specify actual hours then what did you expect. You tell him he can work these hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

Mom never should have allowed this. He would be a bad parent overruling mom. It’s on her with custody to say no. He’s a visitor, not parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

You are missing the fact that I did say no and he overruled me.
I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

Mom never should have allowed this. He would be a bad parent overruling mom. It’s on her with custody to say no. He’s a visitor, not parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

Mom never should have allowed this. He would be a bad parent overruling mom. It’s on her with custody to say no. He’s a visitor, not parent.

I (Mom) did say no and he overruled me.

He is a parent, to argue otherwise is absurd.

[Anonymous]

So if the dad only has one day a week, he's not a parent, and the mom gets to control and decide what happens on that day? Do you really want to go there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

Mom never should have allowed this. He would be a bad parent overruling mom. It’s on her with custody to say no. He’s a visitor, not parent.

I (Mom) did say no and he overruled me.

He is a parent, to argue otherwise is absurd.

No, he’s a sperm donor and child support check that gets a few hours a week. He’s not an active parent, gets no say and just gets the title dad. Now the visits stopped.

[Anonymous]

That poster that keeps insisting you made the kid find a job is a troll and a misogynistic one. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That poster that keeps insisting you made the kid find a job is a troll and a misogynistic one. Ignore.

You are the troll. Kid asked to get a job. Mom said yes, but only on weekends or specific hours which happened to be dad's time. She figured he could not find a job during those hours and did. So, mom said yes, knowing it was during dad's time, and put it on Dad to be the bad guy and say no. Dad really had no choice as mom already said yes so he said yes. Now, mom is upset dad said yes and dad will not have visits. Not sure what she is looking for. Kid is overscheduled so there is no time for visits any other time but this weekend time. It's not a problem clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That poster that keeps insisting you made the kid find a job is a troll and a misogynistic one. Ignore.

It's actually kind of useful for me to see his responses. You see, my kids father can also be a misogynistic idiot with very limited reading comprehension. So, it's helpful to be able to understand the ways he might be misunderstanding a situation.

-- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You give him another day

It's not that simple. He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday. But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house.

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.

You told him kid was getting a job. If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it. He had no choice but to agree. What do you want him to do? If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son. If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting.

Liar.

Lair? What does that mean? Mom told the kid to get a job. Dad cannot override mom.

DAD AGREED WITH THE SON. DIRECTLY. READING IS FUNDAMENTAL.

Dad had no choice. If he said no, he'd be the bad guy denying the kid a job. NO matter what he does he loses. This shouldn't have been allowed by mom.

Oh noes, "being the bad guy". Sorry but that's what parenting requires sometimes. This man's personal weakness sets a terrible example for his son.

If the Mon said no, all of you would be accusing her of trying to control the dad. It's the mom who can't win here.

Mom should have said no. Instead she says yes, puts it on dad to say no. This is not him to blame. Your view is twisted.

Dad said yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand?

Dad had no other choice.

He did. You keep ignoring the fact that the OP hadn’t agreed. This dad isn’t a victim he’s just a dude who doesn’t value time with his kid.

Mom never should have allowed this. He would be a bad parent overruling mom. It’s on her with custody to say no. He’s a visitor, not parent.

I (Mom) did say no and he overruled me.

He is a parent, to argue otherwise is absurd.

No, he’s a sperm donor and child support check that gets a few hours a week. He’s not an active parent, gets no say and just gets the title dad. Now the visits stopped.

I don’t know how you can walk with this massive chip of projection on your shoulder.