Are we the Aholes?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are being rude. Leave the dog and don't be a jerk to your niece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, so many of the PPs didn't bother to read OP's posts.

No, OP, you are NTA. Your BIL's overreaction is a bit silly given how much a visit entails (overnight stay, dog sitter, long drives). Once a month would be way too often for me too. For everyone criticizing OP for not doing more to "save" a family relationship, maybe consider that BIL's reaction isn't exactly helpful either.

Agreed, but I think he's tired of OP's shenanigans. There comes a point when stupid people just get too irritating and they make you say things you'd rather not say out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

Yikes. So does your DD avoid going outside 9 months of the year?

[Anonymous]

No. You are not A..h.... but BIL is. He has every right to ask that you not bring dog to his house but none for anyone else's house. However, I have a dog and a cat and would never even consider taking them to someone else's house. In fact, I put them in another room and close door when I have guests, unless I know them well and know they don't mind animals. Also, I don't want guests, or family, to bring their animals when invited over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, so many of the PPs didn't bother to read OP's posts.

No, OP, you are NTA. Your BIL's overreaction is a bit silly given how much a visit entails (overnight stay, dog sitter, long drives). Once a month would be way too often for me too. For everyone criticizing OP for not doing more to "save" a family relationship, maybe consider that BIL's reaction isn't exactly helpful either.

Agreed, but I think he's tired of OP's shenanigans. There comes a point when stupid people just get too irritating and they make you say things you'd rather not say out loud.

But what shenanigans? OP said they don’t bring the dog now that they were made aware of the allergies. But like many others have said, boarding the dog for a weekend once or twice a month isn’t something she wants to do. So they will just visit less frequently and won’t bring the dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. You are not A..h.... but BIL is. He has every right to ask that you not bring dog to his house but none for anyone else's house. However, I have a dog and a cat and would never even consider taking them to someone else's house. In fact, I put them in another room and close door when I have guests, unless I know them well and know they don't mind animals. Also, I don't want guests, or family, to bring their animals when invited over.

He does have that right, actually. Humans before other animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

Also if none of the relevant families had a dog, why would it even come up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

Yikes. So does your DD avoid going outside 9 months of the year?

Can you read? This just happened today. For the coming weeks, we have all the medication we need so she can function.

But OP's situation is different. You cannot ask a child to medicate themselves for someone else's pet. That pet is not necessary to this child's functioning. So the pet needs to stay home.

[Anonymous]

I do not care for dogs and wouldn’t feel the need to justify a “dogs not welcome” policy in my home or yard. But I would be understanding if you couldn’t make it to the get-together due to dog care issues.

[Anonymous]

Get a friend or neighbor to watch the dog … This shouldn’t be such a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

And rude not to go because of this. For family. Give a high schooler $20 to check in and walk the dog.

A dog is part of a family. You get that right? People take them to brunch for effs sake. Some people like animals. others don't. But don't get made when someone says they aren't coming because you don't like their dog.

NP. Um, no. A freaking dog is not more of a part of a family than OP/her husband’s NIECE, who doesn’t like dogs and is allergic.

Participate in family events and pay a local teen to walk the dog/pay a local college kid to house sit/dog sit for one freaking night if you want to stay overnight for a BBQ or whatever.

I love dogs, I have a dog. DOGSRFAMILY people are stupid and ridiculous. Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

Yikes. So does your DD avoid going outside 9 months of the year?

Can you read? This just happened today. For the coming weeks, we have all the medication we need so she can function.

But OP's situation is different. You cannot ask a child to medicate themselves for someone else's pet. That pet is not necessary to this child's functioning. So the pet needs to stay home.

OR, the pet owners can decline and stay at home with their pet. That's ok too.

[Anonymous]

You find a dog sitter, like everyone else does OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, so many of the PPs didn't bother to read OP's posts.

No, OP, you are NTA. Your BIL's overreaction is a bit silly given how much a visit entails (overnight stay, dog sitter, long drives). Once a month would be way too often for me too. For everyone criticizing OP for not doing more to "save" a family relationship, maybe consider that BIL's reaction isn't exactly helpful either.

Agreed, but I think he's tired of OP's shenanigans. There comes a point when stupid people just get too irritating and they make you say things you'd rather not say out loud.

But what shenanigans? OP said they don’t bring the dog now that they were made aware of the allergies. But like many others have said, boarding the dog for a weekend once or twice a month isn’t something she wants to do. So they will just visit less frequently and won’t bring the dog.

I agree. Her family will be disappointed and that is something OP will need to live with. But the assh0le here is OP, for wanting to bring her dog, whining about not being able to, and whining about having to hire someone to care for her dog. She should apologize to the family, and explain that they cannot afford boarding or a sitter 4 times a month, or whatever it is (which I'm sure isn't quite accurate, it's just that OP doesn't want to!).

BTW, OP, Rover.com is cheaper than boarding, and you could find a teen that's willing to do it for way less. My teen does this for neighbors. It's a win-win, he gets money, and the neighbor pays half the retail price of a regular board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a friend or neighbor to watch the dog … This shouldn’t be such a big deal.

Wrong. BIL can learn to live with less contact. Once/twice a month just doesn't work anymore.