Are we the Aholes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Oh FFS, that's not what OP has said.

Then get a sitter.

Maybe BIL can help split the cost if he so desperately wants to see OP and her family more often without the dog. Win/win.

Good idea. It would be really nice of him. But I'm not sure I would be ready to defray OP's refusal to pay for dog-ownership. She has the dog, she pays for the sitter, or she stays home and splits the family. If you can't afford a dog, don't get a dog.

OMG, the drama. Please, dial it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I doubt Niece just developed a deadly dog allergy. Its either mild or nonexistent. If it is deadly the IL would probably be more forceful about the dog not visiting.

Allergies evolve, and can worsen rapidly, particularly in childhood. Late elementary is the typical age for allergies to appear then get worse. Last year, my 11 year old DD was not allergic to spring pollen. This year, I made the mistake of leaving her window open last night, and she needed steroid medication today!!!

So SHUT UP if you're so ignorant.

That doesn't sound like the case here, rude one. Nobody cares about your DD, start your own thread.

OP knows nothing of her niece's allergies, and will of course present the matter to her advantage. Other posters and myself have explained what can happen with allergies so that people can understand that they can get bad rapidly and without warning. And THAT, moron, can absolutely become the case here, the next time this girl is in contact with a dog.

So go away. You don't know what you're talking about, and it shows.

I have dog and cat allergies, moron. I don't need your feeble explanation of what this is about or how it works. You know nothing about the niece's allergies but suddenly you are the family spokesperson? You are grasping at straws and making shit up because you hate dogs. How sad.

Ugh. PP, you keep throwing childish insults ("moron" "shut up" "feeble" etc). You are the sock puppet.

[Anonymous]

And these are the days of our lives....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Truly, that is the worse of those pandemic dog owners.

They got a pet, and didn't think it through.

What exactly did you think would happen to the next 10 years of your life, OP? That you'd never go anywhere? That people would magically welcome your pooch with open arms?

I mean, it's hilarious.

Op said she boards the dogs for events but doesn't want to at the frequency BIL wants. Op said her family is fine not going. No whining but we're called Aholes.
I would be mad if my brother-in-law and inlaws asked to see me once a month even if there was no issue why I couldn't. The fact that she's even considering it she deserves a medal.

You can stop spinning this, PP or OP in disguise. OP clearly is in a huff because she doesn't want to pay for a sitter that frequently, when it's the norm around here. She's the idiot for not thinking of the ramifications of owning a dog. Her family cannot see her as often as they'd like, and it's all because OP won't get a sitter.

Sorry, but she takes the blame.

NP - you sound like a control freak. People are allowed to live their lives the way they want. I have dogs and kids. I do not get a dog sitter several times a month - it's not the "norm around here."

Actually, it is. One of my friends dog sits as her career in the DC area.

You do know that your friend anecdote doesn't encompass the entire dog-owning universe in DC, right? Or are you that myopic?

[Anonymous]

I know many many dog owners and none board their dog one to two times a month to visit people. While boarding is the norm that frequency is not. Again, from what I read the original poster is fine boarding the dog.

[Anonymous]

I mean, of course OP shouldn't bring the dog if asked not to, but she doesn't seem to want to do that.

BIL is mad they are coming less frequently. But I mean I would also not deal with an 8 hour round trip 1-2 times a month. This IS a consequence of getting a dog but like, I think the idea that you owe them this level of frequent visiting is what is weird here.

No one is trying to foist a dog on someone else, they are just accepting that getting a dog changed the type of monthly traveling they should do. OP's family doesn't seem bent out of shape about this, just BIL. I think this is not your problem OP.

[Anonymous]

Op seems very reasonable to me. She has simply declined the frequent invites and didn’t insist on bringing the dog. It’s the BiL who is the AHole by demanding that OP’s family visit multiple times a month on his terms. OP is well within her rights to set boundaries on their families’ times. Personally I would not board my dog 2x / month just to see my A hole BIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op seems very reasonable to me. She has simply declined the frequent invites and didn’t insist on bringing the dog. It’s the BiL who is the AHole by demanding that OP’s family visit multiple times a month on his terms. OP is well within her rights to set boundaries on their families’ times. Personally I would not board my dog 2x / month just to see my A hole BIL.

+1 to this voice of reason!
Even if op had neighbors who loved the dog and offered to dogsit for free, that amount of travel to see family so frequently is far out of the norm. You do not owe ahole BIL twice a month road trip visits!! I would say one visit every 2-3 months if BIL can change his attitude about being so demanding over frequency. Tell your niece the trips are exhausting when you go every other week but leave the poor dog out of getting all the blame here.

[Anonymous]

what type of dog?

you could bring the dog and keep it crated when BIL's family is there. problem solved. doesn't cost extra money. everyone's needs are met.

[Anonymous]

The "no dog" proclamation has to come directly from the ILs. Their house, their rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

And it’s fine to decline an invitation if you don’t want to board your dog or can’t afford it every single time.

[Anonymous]

Who wants to make multiple 8-hour round trips each month? I’d decline just for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think BIL is being an A-hole for asking - he's acting like a responsible parent. If I were him, I'd think you were an a-hole for putting your dog over my kid.

I wouldn't want to board my dog every month either, but I think getting someone to come over and take him out once during the day is fine.

And it’s equally fine if OP chooses not to do that. An invitation is not a summons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you take your dog? Don’t be weird. And I say this as someone who owns a dog. Have owned many dogs. We don’t take our dog to cook outs or family get togethers.

Seriously! Your dog will be fine. I don’t understand people who take their pets everywhere.

[Anonymous]

My family loves animals period but we definitely do not want my younger sister dog visiting. We discriminate on the dog breed. She has two Pitbull. Little sis always get a dog sitter for a day.