Are we the Aholes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

But it's not BIL's house - it's the inlaws house. BIL is asking them not to bring a dog to someone else's home. BIL is wrong. Niece can take a Zyrtec and dog can run around outside. Ridiculous.

You lose credibility INSTANTLY when you minimize allergies. Shame on you.

This girl's parents may not have had the time to get her tested at an allergist's, but allergies should never be taken lightly, as they can worsen with exposure and trigger serious conditions like asthma. Zyrtec induces severe drowsiness in some people. And on principle, it should never be the burden of a human, let alone an innocent child, who is not responsible for the dog, to take allergy meds for someone else's dog.

Moron.

I HAVE DOG ALLERGIES!!! And I am OK with it!! Not everything in the world revolves around me, and I have adapted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long are we talking about the dog being alone?

+1. Need more information. If your ILs live 15minutes away and you're going for an afternoon, leave the dog at home. If BIL wants you to drive 3 hours, stay 2 days, and you'd have to board the dog, and he wants it to be more than once every 2-3 months, that's going to be a "sorry, we can't make it" from me.

I do think that if you want to be around your niece the dog will need to stay home when you're visiting both your ILs and BIL because humans needs are more important than a dogs wants, but I also don't think you need spend a weekend a month boarding your dog.

The information is there if you read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

True but why is OP considered rude for declining an invitation? Lots of people don’t want to board their dog or hire a sitter for every invitation. It’s not worth it so they pick and choose which things are important to attend.

It’s rude because OP has said that her dog comes before niece’s allergies and other family gathering. You can love your dog but when you make them trump the humans in your life, trouble ensues.

Unless OP is looking to avoid these gatherings, in which case her dog is a wonderful excuse
But clearly OP is not thinking along those lines, and therefore she's rude to place her dog above the needs of her niece.
Poor kid!

[Anonymous]

I have dog allergies and am fine as long as I don’t pet the dog. They aren’t all life and death. It’s even better when the dog doesn’t live in the home. BIL might just be a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have dog allergies and am fine as long as I don’t pet the dog. They aren’t all life and death. It’s even better when the dog doesn’t live in the home. BIL might just be a jerk.

+1

[Anonymous]

For me it depends on how frequently these cookouts are happening. Once every other month or so I would be fine boarding the dog for one night. But if they’re talking once or twice a month, we wouldn’t attend every one.

[Anonymous]

Wait, where is the BBQ held? At in laws, where you are staying, or at BIL's house? If at BIL'S house, can you leave the dog at your in-laws for 3 hours? If at in laws, can you put the dog in a crate in another area?

[Anonymous]

Separate and apart from the dog thing, is it common for people to drive 8 hours round trip 1-2x/month to visit parents or in laws? My parents live in NJ and we see them pretty much only on holidays..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have dog allergies and am fine as long as I don’t pet the dog. They aren’t all life and death. It’s even better when the dog doesn’t live in the home. BIL might just be a jerk.

+1

Yes, yes, we should assume your level of allergy to dogs is the niece’s allergy to dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have dog allergies and am fine as long as I don’t pet the dog. They aren’t all life and death. It’s even better when the dog doesn’t live in the home. BIL might just be a jerk.

+1

+2 Would have to be really crazy strong allergies for someone to react to a dog 5 feet away outside. I think (WAG/speculation) the niece is afraid of dogs but that is a less socially acceptable reason than being allergic so they've settled on "sneezing" as a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, where is the BBQ held? At in laws, where you are staying, or at BIL's house? If at BIL'S house, can you leave the dog at your in-laws for 3 hours? If at in laws, can you put the dog in a crate in another area?

Not OP, but OP said it's at the in-laws house.

"Well, they constantly want to get together at IL to make up 'for lost time' but ask we not bring the dog. DH said 'no' we won't be coming becuase we aren't leaving the dog home for just a grill out or an afternoon at IL.
Now IL are mad we aren't coming. BIL is made because we won't accommodate his requests and get together plans."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have dog allergies and am fine as long as I don’t pet the dog. They aren’t all life and death. It’s even better when the dog doesn’t live in the home. BIL might just be a jerk.

+1

+2 Would have to be really crazy strong allergies for someone to react to a dog 5 feet away outside. I think (WAG/speculation) the niece is afraid of dogs but that is a less socially acceptable reason than being allergic so they've settled on "sneezing" as a reason.

What? That’s not true at all. I have mild allergies and can tell when a cats been in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

But it's not BIL's house - it's the inlaws house. BIL is asking them not to bring a dog to someone else's home. BIL is wrong. Niece can take a Zyrtec and dog can run around outside. Ridiculous.

You lose credibility INSTANTLY when you minimize allergies. Shame on you.

This girl's parents may not have had the time to get her tested at an allergist's, but allergies should never be taken lightly, as they can worsen with exposure and trigger serious conditions like asthma. Zyrtec induces severe drowsiness in some people. And on principle, it should never be the burden of a human, let alone an innocent child, who is not responsible for the dog, to take allergy meds for someone else's dog.

Moron.

I HAVE DOG ALLERGIES!!! And I am OK with it!! Not everything in the world revolves around me, and I have adapted.

Then you are a despicable human being, what can I say.

You ignore the fact that just because you choose to medicate and be in contact with your allergens, you cannot require others to make the same sacrifice, and ESPECIALLY NOT make that decision for a child that is not your own.
Also, you clearly don't have allergies that are severe. My son has severe asthma-triggering cat allergies. If you dare to suggest he medicate himself to be around a cat, you can just pay his hospital bills, with extra for the anxiety and stress it causes on him and me, and the upheaval it creates in our schedule!!!

Again, shame on you, selfish assh0le.

You are nuts. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is pretty rude to take a dog to a cookout when someone has asked you not to do that.

But it's not BIL's house - it's the inlaws house. BIL is asking them not to bring a dog to someone else's home. BIL is wrong. Niece can take a Zyrtec and dog can run around outside. Ridiculous.

For the record, you are an ahole too

]

Oh please. I would never tell someone what they can or cannot do at someone else's home. And then get mad at them when they decide not to go the other person's home because of my rules. That's a-hole behavior.

According to the OP, BIL “asked” not told. And really it’s ok to ask and jerky of you and OP not to oblige.

[Anonymous]

I'm not boarding my dog (or sitter) once a month to see family.

So sure I guess heed the BIL request, but that means everyone sees less of one another than they did.

Also, maybe BIL can hang home sometimes so you can see the parents if they are cool with the dog?