People keep spelling and pronouncing my name wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

[Anonymous]

I have done this to others and have had it happen to me - nic names and alternate spellings - so many times. For years. I just let it go. I don’t ever mean it personally and I don’t ever take it personally. My supervisor of 5 years even misspelled my name once. It was not a slight, just a mistake.

Now if DH misspelled my name that would be a different story!

I hope you’re getting treatment for your depression OP

[Anonymous]

I'm another generic middle-aged white lady with a less common but not at all unfamiliar name with an alternate spelling. It does drive me crazy when people use the alternate spelling in an email when the correct spelling is right there in the To: line, but I also realize that a lot of people spell phonetically or based on familiarity and aren't even aware when they're using different variations of a word or name.

I do have to restrain myself on baby name threads where someone is in hysterics over choosing the absolute most unique name in all the land because they can't bear the thought of more than one head turning on the playground when their precious child's name is called. All I wanted as a kid was to buy a license plate for my bike at the boardwalk souvenir shop or hear the teacher pronounce my name right on the first day of school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have done this to others and have had it happen to me - nic names and alternate spellings - so many times. For years. I just let it go. I don’t ever mean it personally and I don’t ever take it personally. My supervisor of 5 years even misspelled my name once. It was not a slight, just a mistake.

Now if DH misspelled my name that would be a different story!

I hope you’re getting treatment for your depression OP

I'm not sure about mispronouncing names as NOT a slight. I have one that gets mispronounced all the time.

I think what annoys people like us is that sometimes, not always, but sometimes when it happens it comes off from the person as rude, dismissive of you or something to that effect. I've had the situation where when I pronounce it correctly, they will say it is beautiful or "oh, just like it's spelled" and we move on.

I don't think that this is a slight.

But then I've also had the experience where they will ask how to pronounce your name and then (if my name was Madelyn) , " Oh, I didn't know if it was Madeeline, Madalin, Maddalabambiboni". You are just like what in the world, I've just met this person and feel like they are making an annoying fuss over my name.

In high school, a guy just told me straight up that he was calling me Jane, looking back I think that was rude but laughed it off like so many of us do.

[Anonymous]

Catherine/Katherine?

[Anonymous]

My name is consistently misspelled and mispronounced. Every. Single. Day. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

OP here. Fine. I'm also Anne with E.

Yes, I've made jokes about the show/books to be kind about people spelling it correctly. I get blank looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

OP here. Fine. I'm also Anne with E.

Yes, I've made jokes about the show/books to be kind about people spelling it correctly. I get blank looks.

If you are a visual person, you are more likely to spell someone's name correctly than if you are a more auditory person. They are thinking the sound but they just don't visualize the word like you do.

Not everyone thinks and remembers like you OP. Information moves through people's brains very differently.

[Anonymous]

I have a name that is not common but not out-there or made up. And has no alternate spelling that I'm aware of. Something like Esther, Ruth, Dorothy or Ursula.
People have been misspelling and mispronouncing it forever. I really don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

OP here. Fine. I'm also Anne with E.

Yes, I've made jokes about the show/books to be kind about people spelling it correctly. I get blank looks.

Yeah, Anne, there's just not that much to be done about it. I'm Carolyn but people often go with Caroline. I barely notice anymore; I just think of them as two different variations of the same name and don't sweat it. Life's too short to let stuff like this bother you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a name that is not common but not out-there or made up. And has no alternate spelling that I'm aware of. Something like Esther, Ruth, Dorothy or Ursula.
People have been misspelling and mispronouncing it forever. I really don't get it.

I always wonder, what's the name you didn't pick?

Alice? Edith? Ethel? Gertrude? Linda? Mildred?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP.

I have not read all the replies so forgive me if I sound like an echo.

I have a unique and long, hard-to-pronounce, last name. My first name is French and hard for some people to pronounce.

Others get way more upset then me about mispronunciations. I just reassure people that it does not matter to me. I care that people are respectful, honest, Good humored and kind in the way they talk to you not how they pronounce my name.

I make it as easy as possible for kids and adults and really don’t mind if they get it wrong but are trying. i don’t even correct people and let them use nicknames if they prefer. I make an effort with others with unusual names and usually ask them what their preferences are, and how to pronounce their names ..

I know that it is really important for some people that people pronounce their names correctly. I just personally don’t care as long as our exchanges are pleasant.

You have to do what feels authentic to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

SO nice when people ask

-Anne (with an e)

OP here. Fine. I'm also Anne with E.

Yes, I've made jokes about the show/books to be kind about people spelling it correctly. I get blank looks.

Yeah, Anne, there's just not that much to be done about it. I'm Carolyn but people often go with Caroline. I barely notice anymore; I just think of them as two different variations of the same name and don't sweat it. Life's too short to let stuff like this bother you.

It's very dismissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So - a reaction of "argh." I totally get. My name is Katherine - misspellings galore. I also once worked at a job in another city where people would always mistakenly call me Kathleen. No idea why. Katherine is like a really boring regular name? Everywhere in this country? So I put a sign on my door that said Katherine and people would literally stand under the sign and call me Kathleen. Drove me a bit nuts.

BUT - anything more than a passing "argh" is, well, I wouldn't say an overreaction, but I would say a symptom of the larger problem, which is you feeling invisible and depressed. Are you in therapy? Are you making progress? How about your family or closer friends, I presume they use your name correctly? Or is the issue that you don't have many people close to you?

You should also feel free to correct people every. single. time. They'll learn eventually. Some people are just bad with names. Or you can say "argh" and try to let it go. What really needs your attention is your larger mental health issues.

Anyway - I see you! And I wish you the best, and I'm sure there are better days ahead for you. Virtual hugs!

I have a casual friend, whom I really like but see once every couple months, and I have to whisper her name to myself a couple of times before I greet her. Her name is Sharon. I also know about three Shannon's. I want to call her Shannon. They are two different regular names that should not be interchanged. I'm objectively terrible with names.

Can we be in a bad-with-names group? I'm a very detail oriented person in many ways, but my brain just glitches on names. My sister still gets mad every time I call her by my kids' or my dog's name. C'mon, sis! We're middle-aged! You know I love you, my brain just don't work right. '

For me, there are a bunch of name pairings that trip me up, and I'm sure their owners think I'm a total moron.
- Melinda/Melissa
- Sharon/Shannon
- Katherine/Kathleen/Catherine/etc.
- Tom/Ted

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a double name and people at my job that I have had for almost a year just call me by my first name. I sign everything with the double name. My legal name is just the first name so I go by the first and middle. Official email address is first name, middle initial, last name. No one can seem to get it, and even people who used to call me both names have changed to the first. I have given up. People are a mess after this pandemic and they are just in survival mode. It's not about me (or you). Hope that helps!

In your case, I think you need to change your email at work. You just go by a double name. Double barrel names actually are legally the first name "Molly Anne" and then they have a separate middle name "Molly Anne Sarah Smith".

I work with someone who has a name like yours and she has it in her signature what she wants to be called.

I have it in my signature. It is pretty common to have first and middle legally and go by both, especially if you are from the South.

I hear what you're saying but a lot of workplaces only use the legal first name. I had friends who fixed this when they changed their maiden names to their married last names because it was confusing. Mary Katherine Smith became first name: "Mary Katherine" middle name: Smith and then last name: Jones.

We named my dd and then everyone has called her by her first and middle name her whole life. It's cute and I wish I had legally given her a double barreled name. She gets tired of correcting people.

Unfortunately I think having two first names is sort of low class, so I will stick with it as is and deal.