People keep spelling and pronouncing my name wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I find it interesting how the tone of this thread changed when I said I was white.

It is because you have never been discriminated against and cannot know what that’s like.

IOW, you are not a victim, which is contrary to what your thread title implied.

Wait, so it's not ok to do this to a minority, but it's ok to do to OP?

OP is a PONC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the name?

I would just correct people with a smile. “Actually I go by Elizabeth not Beth.”

Not really wanting to out myself, but it literally is very boring and easy to spell (and pronounce!)

If it is common name, you will not be outing yourself...unless you are THAT Allison I know from the office,

eek Allison and Alison are sometimes hard to get right. I also work with a Phillip and a Philippe who both pronounce their name as Philip. I try very hard to get people's names correct, but I know they deal with spelling issues galore.

[Anonymous]

So - a reaction of "argh." I totally get. My name is Katherine - misspellings galore. I also once worked at a job in another city where people would always mistakenly call me Kathleen. No idea why. Katherine is like a really boring regular name? Everywhere in this country? So I put a sign on my door that said Katherine and people would literally stand under the sign and call me Kathleen. Drove me a bit nuts.

BUT - anything more than a passing "argh" is, well, I wouldn't say an overreaction, but I would say a symptom of the larger problem, which is you feeling invisible and depressed. Are you in therapy? Are you making progress? How about your family or closer friends, I presume they use your name correctly? Or is the issue that you don't have many people close to you?

You should also feel free to correct people every. single. time. They'll learn eventually. Some people are just bad with names. Or you can say "argh" and try to let it go. What really needs your attention is your larger mental health issues.

Anyway - I see you! And I wish you the best, and I'm sure there are better days ahead for you. Virtual hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So - a reaction of "argh." I totally get. My name is Katherine - misspellings galore. I also once worked at a job in another city where people would always mistakenly call me Kathleen. No idea why. Katherine is like a really boring regular name? Everywhere in this country? So I put a sign on my door that said Katherine and people would literally stand under the sign and call me Kathleen. Drove me a bit nuts.

BUT - anything more than a passing "argh" is, well, I wouldn't say an overreaction, but I would say a symptom of the larger problem, which is you feeling invisible and depressed. Are you in therapy? Are you making progress? How about your family or closer friends, I presume they use your name correctly? Or is the issue that you don't have many people close to you?

You should also feel free to correct people every. single. time. They'll learn eventually. Some people are just bad with names. Or you can say "argh" and try to let it go. What really needs your attention is your larger mental health issues.

Anyway - I see you! And I wish you the best, and I'm sure there are better days ahead for you. Virtual hugs!

I have a casual friend, whom I really like but see once every couple months, and I have to whisper her name to myself a couple of times before I greet her. Her name is Sharon. I also know about three Shannon's. I want to call her Shannon. They are two different regular names that should not be interchanged. I'm objectively terrible with names.

[Anonymous]

I have one of those names that can have a dozen nicknames and people just come up with their own and don't ask what I want to be called so my own passive aggressive thing is to make them say the full name. There are also 2 versions of the name with a 1 letter difference and a lot of people mistake it for the alternative version and I will correct them. No nicknames unless we are friends and than it's the one I chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a client with a slightly unusual spelling to their name (double vowel where typically that name would have a single vowel) and they highlighted that part of their name in their email signature in bold, red letters. Their signature looked a little funny and to me seemed a bit passive aggressive, but you did notice it.

But OP, seems like you have many other layers of self-worth stuff to explore and address that perhaps would make this name thing a little less dramatic for you. And/or nice trolling work.

It's self-worth, not trolling. Therapy has never helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s the name?

I would just correct people with a smile. “Actually I go by Elizabeth not Beth.”

Not really wanting to out myself, but it literally is very boring and easy to spell (and pronounce!)

If it is common name, you will not be outing yourself...unless you are THAT Allison I know from the office,

White, middle-aged Alison/Allison with massive self-esteem problems and depression is a huge tell.

[Anonymous]

OP, many people are not detail-oriented. My own mother and sisters have misspelled my kids’ names since they were born and they are in their 20s now. It’s annoying and I will correct them if I have the energy. They are not doing it on purpose. In their heads, the kids’ names are spelled a certain way. I make a point of spelling people’s names right since spelling is important to me. People also like to shorten names. My father gave me a pretty German name and I think I only heard him use my full name a handful of times. He always shortened it and not in a traditional way (like calling an Angelina Lina and not Angie). Try not to take it personally.

[Anonymous]

I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

[Anonymous]

I have a problem with Kristen/Kirsten for some reason. I try to remember but I have to look it up every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

+1. I don't get worked up over the spelling at all, but it's kind of nice when people ask. It's so commonly misspelled I barely notice at this point and I just don't have the mental bandwidth to care about something so insignificant.

-Sara

[Anonymous]

If it's not Sarah/Sara, is it Laura/Lara?

Signed, another Laura.

Some people call me Lora, which used to truly hate. Others would mess up and say Laurie or Lori. Or, heck, even Lauren. I kind of liked being miscalled Lauren, except once I didn't correct my hairdresser immediately and I became "Lauren" there. Awkward...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a Sara in a world of Sarah’s. I hated it as a kid but I don’t care one way or the other anymore. Sometimes people will ask which is nice and I just tell them I’m a four letter word Sara. For some reason a lot of people want to call me sally and that’s a total WTF for me—like did I get in a time machine and go back to 1947? It’s not really about you, but if it bothers you, feel free too correct it in the first line of your reply to the email. I try hard to spell peoples names correctly, probably because of my life with a no traditional name spelling, but most people aren’t detail oriented enough to care.

I LOVE Sara-without-an-H. But for some reason I hate the name Sarah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's not Sarah/Sara, is it Laura/Lara?

Signed, another Laura.

Some people call me Lora, which used to truly hate. Others would mess up and say Laurie or Lori. Or, heck, even Lauren. I kind of liked being miscalled Lauren, except once I didn't correct my hairdresser immediately and I became "Lauren" there. Awkward...

DP, this is a hard one and I admit I struggle with it. And even when I know that someone pronounces it a certain way, I still sometimes overcorrect and get it wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, perhaps you could look at it as a tell that the individual is not a detail oriented person. There are just so many names that this could be.

Sofia/Sophia
Tara/Tera
Anne/Ann
Claire/Clare
Emmie/Emmy
Jacqueline/Jacklyn
Ashley/Ashleigh
Caitlin/Kaitlyn/Katelyn
Sara/Sarah
Rachel/Rachael
Lauren/Lauryn
Teresa/Theresa
Lee/Leigh
Margot/Margo
Kristen/Kristin
Kelly/Kelli
Britney/Brittany
Tiffany/Tiffani
Lisa/Lysa
Kori/Corrie
Hailey/Haylee
Frida/Frieda
Melanie/Melani
Katherine/Catherine/Kathryn
Tanya/Tonya
Riley/Ryleigh
Debra/Deborah
Madeleine/Madalyn
Hannah/Hanna
Elena/Alaina
Layla/Leila/Laylah/Leyla