People keep spelling and pronouncing my name wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I'm going to cut right to the chase here and I frankly will skip the 10 pages of posts, so if someone has posted this (and I feel sure they have, or I hope so) sorry, but:

Many posts are totally missing the real and very serious issue here! It's this, in your first post:

I've been struggling for a long time with feeling invisible and suicidal thoughts and just being a woman in my 40's, and this just adds to the depression, like people can't even be bothered to call me by the right name.

Are you getting help for your depression? Have you told anyone about your suicidal thoughts? Suicidal thoughts are reason for immediate intervention and help, and I hope you have already gotten that help. If not, please stop reading and call 800-273-8255, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. You do NOT have to be right on the verge that second to call and talk to them. They can help guide you to further help for the overall depression.

Maybe you've already come back to post here that you're getting help. If so, great, but if it's not working -- and your original post sounds as if it isn't -- please consider changing therapists and/or other doctors ASAP. I know, that's easy to say and not always easy to do, but if you have an Employee Assistance Program at your job, that's one place to start, as is the list of therapists your insurer has.

You are right to feel frustrated about the name issue. It's wrong and stupid of others. But the fact it looms so large for you is an indication of the bigger picture of depression and feelings of "I don't matter." I'm just leaping ahead here to post this to say, please, please talk to someone in your life today about your feelings and more importantly, talk to a professional ASAP. If you're already doing the latter, call that professional today and say you need to be seen today or tomorrow at the latest. Even if you feel you eventually will change therapists or whatever, call the one you have, if you have one, now. You can do this. You do matter. Other people's carelessness and jerkiness is not due to YOUR being unworthy, OP.

Again, if other posts already went here, sorry to repeat, but I saw the OP just now and felt that the posts I saw just below it were fixating on the name issue and missed the huge red flag you waved. Take care of yourself, OP. Update us. You are in this stranger's thoughts.

The lighthearted responses are two fold - title of thread is focused on name only, not depression. I don't believe every poster actually bothers to read the OP. Secondly, it is posted if off topic, not health. So in a catch all, snatchy gossipy forum, not a serious one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My own mother still spells my married last name wrong and I’ve been married over 25 years. It’s a common and phonetic last name. It does make me feel disrespected.

Your own mother? Yes, you have every right to be annoyed by that!

I can do you one better-- my ex-husband who I was married to for 20+ years and gave 4 children, never pronounced my name right

Asking seriously: How did you not blow the hell up at him over this at some point? Or did you do that, and it just rolled off him?

I note he's an ex....I'm guessing other issues of disrespect, too, huh? Because the name thing for one's spouse? That's pure disrespect coupled with laziness. Wow.

It was actually a running joke. My name is foreign, so the pronunciation is "I" (think: Eileen) even though the first letter is an "A." He pronounced it Aileen instead of Eileen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have a common white person name with a few alternate spellings, and I could not care less how anyone spells it in an email. My husband is a doctor and can’t spell at all, and I’m sure he botches names all the time. My own parents can’t spell my kids’ *very common* names correctly. It’s just not a big deal.

Looking at the email address and/or signature to see someone's name doesn't require spelling skills.

This. I am a bad speller and I know this so if I am not 100$ sure, I look it up. The e-mails are hilarious because your name is RIGHT THERE!

I copy/paste unique names, just to make sure.

[Anonymous]

I think folks who get worked up over this have serious mental issues. Narcissistic in nature.

My name is uncommon but known. I answer to any derivative and there are 7-8 of them. It’s not a big deal. No one is trying to be dismissive, they simply made an error. I’m a people pleaser, so I don’t bother correcting them unless we interact a lot. At which point, they most always self correct.

Do you correct the Starbucks barista too?

[Anonymous]

Some people are weird. This women had a four letter first name. I pronounced as it looks. Literally for five months. In a meeting with her boss she tells me off. Saying I am disrespectful and it is annoying and I should stop.

To be honest I just don’t say her name verbally anymore. I hare people who force this crap.

Like this guy named Richard who went be Dick. Always saying call me Dick. Guess what I don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

Well maybe not politically correct but my name is as important to me as your pronouns are to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are weird. This women had a four letter first name. I pronounced as it looks. Literally for five months. In a meeting with her boss she tells me off. Saying I am disrespectful and it is annoying and I should stop.

To be honest I just don’t say her name verbally anymore. I hare people who force this crap.

Like this guy named Richard who went be Dick. Always saying call me Dick. Guess what I don’t want to.

Asking to be called your name, correctly, is not forcing this crap. It's simply asking for being recognized and respected as an individual human. That guy Richard wanted to be called Dick, not have you act like one.

[Anonymous]

I am now at work in regular contact with someone named karen. Not Karen. karen. And just as it did when typing it here, it autocorrects to Karen all the time. It's only a matter of time....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think folks who get worked up over this have serious mental issues. Narcissistic in nature.

My name is uncommon but known. I answer to any derivative and there are 7-8 of them. It’s not a big deal. No one is trying to be dismissive, they simply made an error. I’m a people pleaser, so I don’t bother correcting them unless we interact a lot. At which point, they most always self correct.

Do you correct the Starbucks barista too?

Sorry you care so little about people that you can't even call them by the correct name. Sociopath?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Like this guy named Richard who went be Dick. Always saying call me Dick. Guess what I don’t want to.

Wow. Who do you think you are?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am now at work in regular contact with someone named karen. Not Karen. karen. And just as it did when typing it here, it autocorrects to Karen all the time. It's only a matter of time....

Huh?