Does the lack of an age gap create more problems in marriages than we acknowledge?

[Anonymous]

My BIL was one year younger than my sister, made happiest couple ever. He passed away at 45 from cancer, she is still alive and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if you are looking for a man who will support you financially, it makes sense to look for an older man. He provides the money, you provide the younger body.

If you are looking for an equal partnership, then the same or similar age is good.

If that's what a woman is looking for she shouldn't marry any of them. "Date" 10 men at the same time from ages 19 to 29 then retire and day trade.

So funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its was considered easier to tame younger women into whoever you want them to be.

That's a good reason to get married before you're too old and set in your ways (either gender). Too young and you'll poison the relationship with immaturity. Too old and you'll be too stubborn. Gotta hit the sweet spot.

[Anonymous]

Talking of anecdotes, cousin married her own age, died 20 years before her husband. Her sister married a guy 11 year older then her, he died with 5 years. There are no guarantees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its was considered easier to tame younger women into whoever you want them to be.

That's a good reason to get married before you're too old and set in your ways (either gender). Too young and you'll poison the relationship with immaturity. Too old and you'll be too stubborn. Gotta hit the sweet spot.

I agree. i think 21-29 is ideal for both genders. I don’t get this “they aren’t fully mature until 25” rant, yes but they also start aging after that so if they are of average maturity and intellect, let them marry if they want to. Let them share years of if they want to.

[Anonymous]

I think if you are looking for a man who will support you financially, it makes sense to look for an older man. He provides the money, you provide the younger body.

If you always wanted to be a hooker when you grew up, sure.

[Anonymous]

My Sister said she wants to make money not marry for money. Married her class fellow who is 3 months younger, both supported each other through med and business school. If she had married any of the guys our family matchmaker brought, she would’ve walked into a lap of luxury from day one. She has no resentments, not a materialistic person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ITA OP, but we'll get flamed for it.

DH is 6 years older than I am. I have always thought to marry at least 3 years older than me. And I got married in my early 30s.

My sister married someone younger than her. They divorced after two years.

of course, YMMV.

Lol you heard it here, folks.


What a useless comment.

[Anonymous]

If a man is marrying a woman 10+ years older, yes I would say they may face problems in long term but if its a couple of years, it doesn’t matter. If their marriage fails, age gap isn’t going to be the reason.

[Anonymous]

I love OP’s argument about women being fertile for a shorter amount of time. As if 25 years might not be a big enough window to have kids.

[Anonymous]

My physician cousin married a stunner 7 years younger than him, put her through med school and residency. She ditched him in last year of residency, got 1/3 of his assets, started making attending money after finishing residency and one year of fellowship.

Women from other countries often marry older western men for free card and then discard them for men their own age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many elements to an age gap in a marriage. Firstly the biological factors. We know women mature faster than men and have a shorter fertility window. Marrying a man your age or younger create many more opportunities for a lack of synchrony regarding life logistics. The younger man may want to wait longer to have children, he may not make enough money to support a family yet, etc. Then, there is the fact that he may be much more emotionally immature to be a proper confidant and partner to his wife.

Finally, women generally age faster so if you are the same age or older than your husband, you are on an accelerated aging timeline. He may be more likely to have a wandering eye as your looks fade.

I am surprised we do not consider age differences more carefully when dating. It seems preferable to have the woman be at least a few years younger than her husband.

Speak for your old looking self, my brown skin is smooth and clear, and I still turn heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think if you are looking for a man who will support you financially, it makes sense to look for an older man. He provides the money, you provide the younger body.

If you always wanted to be a hooker when you grew up, sure.

wtf younger body for money … so demeaning

[Anonymous]

How much of a difference are we talking about? Anything more than a couple of years and disparity in money is a business deal not a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many elements to an age gap in a marriage. Firstly the biological factors. We know women mature faster than men and have a shorter fertility window. Marrying a man your age or younger create many more opportunities for a lack of synchrony regarding life logistics. The younger man may want to wait longer to have children, he may not make enough money to support a family yet, etc. Then, there is the fact that he may be much more emotionally immature to be a proper confidant and partner to his wife.

Finally, women generally age faster so if you are the same age or older than your husband, you are on an accelerated aging timeline. He may be more likely to have a wandering eye as your looks fade.

I am surprised we do not consider age differences more carefully when dating. It seems preferable to have the woman be at least a few years younger than her husband.

Accelerated aging happens in toddlers, pubescent and midlife for both genders, other than that it’s just regular aging.