Unhealed Betrayed Wives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t get therapy because they don’t see that they are part of the problem in their own misery, and often feel like being a victim gets them some kind of social leverage.

I understand that being cheated on can be a very traumatic event to some people, but the choice to not heal and move on to real happiness is what baffles me.

This. But it's probably just a handful of women with too much time on their hands. They just show up in every thread because the whole world must know.

I find it odd to blame the victims. How about the nasty cheaters bragging about what crappy people they are.[b]

To be fair we are all here.....

The woman recently bragging about blowing her AP in a parking garage over a hundred times. OMG. These cheaters are insane and disgusting. Who brags about that? I'm sure everyone calls her D@@ck breath behind her back, you know, like the security guys watching it on their camera and the co-workers that watch her get in and out of the car. Gross.

That was just an incel posting as a woman. Women don't do that, there's nothing to gain from it.

I'm not a bitter ex wife- but I must disagree with the BJ thing. My ex used to get BJs in a public park from his AP. Part of the psychology is that they like to feel forbidden and naughty so doing stuff like that excites them. She was also desperately in love with him so she would have done anything to get him. Once I found out exactly how gross he was I was DONE.

I'm very happy to be divorced and I was able to heal from the trauma. It did take a while though b.c of my childhood issues but I got there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wonder what Op thinks about talking about the holocaust or racism…

Op here. I'm black. Again, because it seems that many of you here read to respond, and not to comprehend, I was betrayed by my ex-husband, but guess what, me coming to this forum raging against every cheater and OW doesn't change what happened in my life so I don't get the point of anyone doing that.

Similar to the holocaust, systemic racism and adultery if you keep silent the victims don’t heal as much or feel heard or process things and move on. And others don’t see right from wrong in their own situations as quickly either.

That’s real cool you’ve moved on so much OO that you out down others who merely talk or post about being wronged. Real cool. Like you assume their some one dimensional thing that only talks about that one thing. And how you clearly thinking talking about problems just “doesn’t have a point.” It actually had many points. You’re just too immature to see them.

So you keep harping on and on how you were cheated on, got divorced, and never talk about it and find others who were hurt or cheated in or what it so silly to be posting anything. So superior you are. So healed. So healthy.

Take your whole thread here to a new therapist and see what they think about your healing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t get therapy because they don’t see that they are part of the problem in their own misery, and often feel like being a victim gets them some kind of social leverage.

I understand that being cheated on can be a very traumatic event to some people, but the choice to not heal and move on to real happiness is what baffles me.

This. But it's probably just a handful of women with too much time on their hands. They just show up in every thread because the whole world must know.

I find it odd to blame the victims. How about the nasty cheaters bragging about what crappy people they are.[b]

To be fair we are all here.....

The woman recently bragging about blowing her AP in a parking garage over a hundred times. OMG. These cheaters are insane and disgusting. Who brags about that? I'm sure everyone calls her D@@ck breath behind her back, you know, like the security guys watching it on their camera and the co-workers that watch her get in and out of the car. Gross.

That was just an incel posting as a woman. Women don't do that, there's nothing to gain from it.

I'm not a bitter ex wife- but I must disagree with the BJ thing. My ex used to get BJs in a public park from his AP. Part of the psychology is that they like to feel forbidden and naughty so doing stuff like that excites them. She was also desperately in love with him so she would have done anything to get him. Once I found out exactly how gross he was I was DONE.

I'm very happy to be divorced and I was able to heal from the trauma. It did take a while though b.c of my childhood issues but I got there.

Yes years ago there was a married male in our circle who openly stated his wife wouldn't give him BJ's so he would cheat to basically get a BJ. They are still married but I know there were other women throughout the years, sole purpose was to fill the sexual gap. There are definitely women that do that.

[Anonymous]

There’s nothing specifically wrong with giving someone a bj in a public park as long as you’re not in public view, irrespective of the legitimacy of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t get therapy because they don’t see that they are part of the problem in their own misery, and often feel like being a victim gets them some kind of social leverage.

I understand that being cheated on can be a very traumatic event to some people, but the choice to not heal and move on to real happiness is what baffles me.

This. But it's probably just a handful of women with too much time on their hands. They just show up in every thread because the whole world must know.

I find it odd to blame the victims. How about the nasty cheaters bragging about what crappy people they are.[b]

To be fair we are all here.....

The woman recently bragging about blowing her AP in a parking garage over a hundred times. OMG. These cheaters are insane and disgusting. Who brags about that? I'm sure everyone calls her D@@ck breath behind her back, you know, like the security guys watching it on their camera and the co-workers that watch her get in and out of the car. Gross.

That was just an incel posting as a woman. Women don't do that, there's nothing to gain from it.

I'm not a bitter ex wife- but I must disagree with the BJ thing. My ex used to get BJs in a public park from his AP. Part of the psychology is that they like to feel forbidden and naughty so doing stuff like that excites them. She was also desperately in love with him so she would have done anything to get him. Once I found out exactly how gross he was I was DONE.

I'm very happy to be divorced and I was able to heal from the trauma. It did take a while though b.c of my childhood issues but I got there.

Yes years ago there was a married male in our circle who openly stated his wife wouldn't give him BJ's so he would cheat to basically get a BJ. They are still married but I know there were other women throughout the years, sole purpose was to fill the sexual gap. There are definitely women that do that.

Yep. Someone blow with nothing in return. Some because they love it and many because they are looking to try and get the guy to marry them and then will no longer blow.

[Anonymous]

This is an online advice forum, OP. So people who come here seeking advice from others who have experienced something similar (in this case, cheating) are going to get responses from people who have been there, done that. Just because the responders validate the anguish and suffering the betrayed person is experiencing doesn't mean they are still at that point in their own lives. The pain from betrayal isn't something that can be seen from the outside and certainly can't be comprehended by someone who hasn't been through it. Just because someone posts that they were cheated on how ever many years ago and can confirm how devastating it is doesn't mean they are still angry or miserable. They are just supporting the newly betrayed.

[Anonymous]

My guess after skimming the why are women so unhappily married thread is that the women in that thread who are doing everything and mad about get enraged because they have done everything and martyr'd themselves and their husbands not only didn't care about or appreciate any of it, he found someone else to spend time with who wasn't nagging him about holiday card photos and addresses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing specifically wrong with giving someone a bj in a public park as long as you’re not in public view, irrespective of the legitimacy of the relationship.

Ewwww no. I am very sex-positive and I love giving oral but in a public park? Where anyone could come trudging along at any moment? No absolutely not- we aren't teenagers anymore. Grow up and keep your parts to yourself.

It's also illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don’t get therapy because they don’t see that they are part of the problem in their own misery, and often feel like being a victim gets them some kind of social leverage.

I understand that being cheated on can be a very traumatic event to some people, but the choice to not heal and move on to real happiness is what baffles me.

This. But it's probably just a handful of women with too much time on their hands. They just show up in every thread because the whole world must know.

I find it odd to blame the victims. How about the nasty cheaters bragging about what crappy people they are.

To be fair we are all here.....

The woman recently bragging about blowing her AP in a parking garage over a hundred times. OMG. These cheaters are insane and disgusting. Who brags about that? I'm sure everyone calls her D@@ck breath behind her back, you know, like the security guys watching it on their camera and the co-workers that watch her get in and out of the car. Gross.

That was just an incel posting as a woman. Women don't do that, there's nothing to gain from it.

I'm not a bitter ex wife- but I must disagree with the BJ thing. My ex used to get BJs in a public park from his AP. Part of the psychology is that they like to feel forbidden and naughty so doing stuff like that excites them. She was also desperately in love with him so she would have done anything to get him. Once I found out exactly how gross he was I was DONE.

I'm very happy to be divorced and I was able to heal from the trauma. It did take a while though b.c of my childhood issues but I got there.

Yes years ago there was a married male in our circle who openly stated his wife wouldn't give him BJ's so he would cheat to basically get a BJ. They are still married but I know there were other women throughout the years, sole purpose was to fill the sexual gap. There are definitely women that do that.

Yep. Someone blow with nothing in return. Some because they love it and many because they are looking to try and [b]get the guy to marry them and then will no longer blow.

Ha ha ha yes! I'm PP and I'm sure that's what happened. And they have some kids now so he is trapped. The ironic thing is that I consider BJs part of foreplay and give every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing specifically wrong with giving someone a bj in a public park as long as you’re not in public view, irrespective of the legitimacy of the relationship.

Ewwww no. I am very sex-positive and I love giving oral but in a public park? Where anyone could come trudging along at any moment? No absolutely not- we aren't teenagers anymore. Grow up and keep your parts to yourself.

It's also illegal.

So is jaywalking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing specifically wrong with giving someone a bj in a public park as long as you’re not in public view, irrespective of the legitimacy of the relationship.

Ewwww no. I am very sex-positive and I love giving oral but in a public park? Where anyone could come trudging along at any moment? No absolutely not- we aren't teenagers anymore. Grow up and keep your parts to yourself.

It's also illegal.

So is jaywalking.

Gross no one wants to see some random dudes wrinkly, saggy balls while taking a nice walk. Jaywalking only puts you at risk not my poor retinas. Again, grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess after skimming the why are women so unhappily married thread is that the women in that thread who are doing everything and mad about get enraged because they have done everything and martyr'd themselves and their husbands not only didn't care about or appreciate any of it, he found someone else to spend time with who wasn't nagging him about holiday card photos and addresses

See, this is why I don't buy presents for my ILs, do cards, or give BJs without a guaranteed orgasm for me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s nothing specifically wrong with giving someone a bj in a public park as long as you’re not in public view, irrespective of the legitimacy of the relationship.

Ewwww no. I am very sex-positive and I love giving oral but in a public park? Where anyone could come trudging along at any moment? No absolutely not- we aren't teenagers anymore. Grow up and keep your parts to yourself.

It's also illegal.

So is jaywalking.

Gross no one wants to see some random dudes wrinkly, saggy balls while taking a nice walk. Jaywalking only puts you at risk not my poor retinas. Again, grow up.

Reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a ton here. Ranting and raving about how awful cheaters are on every thread, name calling, immature snarkiness. My ex-husband had an affair, we separated, we reconciled, he did it again, we divorced. It was painful, it was ugly, but craps happens. Heal and get over it, and move on with your life. Giving non-useful advice isn't going to heal you. And all the AP/cheating husband name calling in the world isn't going stop them.

Do betrayed spouses get therapy, or is bleeding all over DCUM therapy for you?

Just wondering.

I can tell this thread is a bash women thread so we should ignore

+1. I don’t know why women are the ones bashing other women. There are so many cheating men on here that it’s just calling out their bad behavior. All of these men support each other and so it’s interesting that you think supporting women who have been cheated on is not the right approach.

half of all cheaters, in relationships, are women. so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What you don’t understand about loss that destroys your life and life dream is that is does not ever resolve. It compounds over time.

Been there, got cheated on. “Compounds over time”? That’s your choice. Choose otherwise. Or at least stop whining in public here.

DP here. How is venting on an anonymous board “whining in public”? No one knows who any of the posters are IRL. Annoyed readers don’t have to keep reading.