Wife’s Behavior Confirms I Should Divorce Her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t discount the sacrifices your wife made for your career. Being an EFM sucks. You are basically an appendage.

Reading skills people. Did you catch she makes $230K per year. Most EFMs would kill to even 25 percent of that rather than send me sh*tty CLO job. Appears OP’s wife has been able to make her career work while trailing.

Fine. But if she really has been trailing for 23 years, andespecially has kids, she would very likely be making even way more.

The OP's wife sounds like she's a genuine winner and successful person, whereas OP sounds like a total loser. Maybe that's where the resentment is. OP's wife can afford that 4k bag, he certainly cant, and that's why he got triggered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP isn’t going to file for divorce. He never does. He’ll be back next month with some new tale of woe, because he doesn’t actually want to leave his marriage. What he wants is to be a victim, and if he leaves his wife he loses the victim narrative.

Yup, this. Literally, what, close to 50 threads by him?

Yes. At least I’m hoping it is all the same guy and that the FSO is not populated by guys who write like this and hate their wives but won’t get a divorce. Get a divorce already!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The store closed at 9 pm. It was 9:15 when she went to pay. I had told her they were shutting down. But she had to keep shopping.

As to verbal abuse, let’s turn the tables and ask whether you would put up with being yelled at and called nasty names in public because your DH was having a fit over some stupid thing? I don’t think so. My W cannot regulate her emotional responses.

I’ll accept lifetime alimony from her. She made $230K last year. She doesn’t need it.

Woman FSO here. I don't know why everyone here is piling on. She sounds like a nightmare.

We've done unaccompanied posts (including right now). It may be the only way we can make it through - ha!

Anyway - go ahead and file. Don't let her come to post. Talk to Management/HR about dropping her from your orders.

Good luck.

She’s not on my orders and has no diiplomatic passport. She can travel here on a tourist passport with no visa, but can stay no more than 90 days. Someone up thread mentioned BPD. She has a diagnosis, but IMHO displays more NPD traits.

You mean she was in fact diagnosed as BPD?

[Anonymous]

LOL I'm an EFM and I had to reread the post to make sure it wasn't my husband posting because it sounds like something he would write about me (I don't think it is- too many details don't align). Anyway OP, just get the divorce. Idk why she's even visiting you. Since she has her own career and doesn't come to post with you for years, isn't on your orders etc, she clearly checked out years ago. Heck I'm surprised she hasn't divorced you first given the length of the marriage and I assume your kids are grown (only reasons I am still staying in my own marriage). The way you write your post along with things my husband has said to me make me wonder if the FSOs just sit around all day at work bashing their wives who've ironically been the ones to make tremendous personal sacrifices over the course of the FSO's spouse's employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL I'm an EFM and I had to reread the post to make sure it wasn't my husband posting because it sounds like something he would write about me (I don't think it is- too many details don't align). Anyway OP, just get the divorce. Idk why she's even visiting you. Since she has her own career and doesn't come to post with you for years, isn't on your orders etc, she clearly checked out years ago. Heck I'm surprised she hasn't divorced you first given the length of the marriage and I assume your kids are grown (only reasons I am still staying in my own marriage). The way you write your post along with things my husband has said to me make me wonder if the FSOs just sit around all day at work bashing their wives who've ironically been the ones to make tremendous personal sacrifices over the course of the FSO's spouse's employment.

"Since she has her own career... she is clearly checked out years ago?"
really?
Not the OP's wife, but an EFM with a healthy career... AND a healthy marriage... despite the odds. I have at times lived apart from my husband (when everyone assumes we are separated). We aren't. There are a lot of good reasons outside of a spouse being checked out to not live together for years under the circumstances, including the wife having a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL I'm an EFM and I had to reread the post to make sure it wasn't my husband posting because it sounds like something he would write about me (I don't think it is- too many details don't align). Anyway OP, just get the divorce. Idk why she's even visiting you. Since she has her own career and doesn't come to post with you for years, isn't on your orders etc, she clearly checked out years ago. Heck I'm surprised she hasn't divorced you first given the length of the marriage and I assume your kids are grown (only reasons I am still staying in my own marriage). The way you write your post along with things my husband has said to me make me wonder if the FSOs just sit around all day at work bashing their wives who've ironically been the ones to make tremendous personal sacrifices over the course of the FSO's spouse's employment.

"Since she has her own career... she is clearly checked out years ago?"
really?
Not the OP's wife, but an EFM with a healthy career... AND a healthy marriage... despite the odds. I have at times lived apart from my husband (when everyone assumes we are separated). We aren't. There are a lot of good reasons outside of a spouse being checked out to not live together for years under the circumstances, including the wife having a career.

PP again... I am really hoping the bolded above, while a true quote, was written too quickly (and that the poster was implying that "She has her own career, and SINCE she doesn't come to post with you, etc." If not, this is the life many post-1950s EFMs must deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL I'm an EFM and I had to reread the post to make sure it wasn't my husband posting because it sounds like something he would write about me (I don't think it is- too many details don't align). Anyway OP, just get the divorce. Idk why she's even visiting you. Since she has her own career and doesn't come to post with you for years, isn't on your orders etc, she clearly checked out years ago. Heck I'm surprised she hasn't divorced you first given the length of the marriage and I assume your kids are grown (only reasons I am still staying in my own marriage). The way you write your post along with things my husband has said to me make me wonder if the FSOs just sit around all day at work bashing their wives who've ironically been the ones to make tremendous personal sacrifices over the course of the FSO's spouse's employment.

"Since she has her own career... she is clearly checked out years ago?"
really?
Not the OP's wife, but an EFM with a healthy career... AND a healthy marriage... despite the odds. I have at times lived apart from my husband (when everyone assumes we are separated). We aren't. There are a lot of good reasons outside of a spouse being checked out to not live together for years under the circumstances, including the wife having a career.

PP again... I am really hoping the bolded above, while a true quote, was written too quickly (and that the poster was implying that "She has her own career, and SINCE she doesn't come to post with you, etc." If not, this is the life many post-1950s EFMs must deal with.

I clearly meant it appears OPs wife is doing her own thing independent of OP. That includes having a career, AND not coming to post AND not on OPs orders AND it sounds like they hate each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL I'm an EFM and I had to reread the post to make sure it wasn't my husband posting because it sounds like something he would write about me (I don't think it is- too many details don't align). Anyway OP, just get the divorce. Idk why she's even visiting you. Since she has her own career and doesn't come to post with you for years, isn't on your orders etc, she clearly checked out years ago. Heck I'm surprised she hasn't divorced you first given the length of the marriage and I assume your kids are grown (only reasons I am still staying in my own marriage). The way you write your post along with things my husband has said to me make me wonder if the FSOs just sit around all day at work bashing their wives who've ironically been the ones to make tremendous personal sacrifices over the course of the FSO's spouse's employment.

"Since she has her own career... she is clearly checked out years ago?"
really?
Not the OP's wife, but an EFM with a healthy career... AND a healthy marriage... despite the odds. I have at times lived apart from my husband (when everyone assumes we are separated). We aren't. There are a lot of good reasons outside of a spouse being checked out to not live together for years under the circumstances, including the wife having a career.

PP again... I am really hoping the bolded above, while a true quote, was written too quickly (and that the poster was implying that "She has her own career, and SINCE she doesn't come to post with you, etc." If not, this is the life many post-1950s EFMs must deal with.

I clearly meant it appears OPs wife is doing her own thing independent of OP. That includes having a career, AND not coming to post AND not on OPs orders AND it sounds like they hate each other.

Good. And if you are truly another EFM, you can understand why I'd be wary. What an f*cked up culture we have.

[Anonymous]

Your wife sounds like she is very ungrateful and even possibly depressed.

I agree w/you, that you two need to get a divorce.

Sounds like you are a much better person when she is not around.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds like she is very ungrateful and even possibly depressed.

I agree w/you, that you two need to get a divorce.

Sounds like you are a much better person when she is not around.

Good luck.

Uh. What does she have to be grateful for, exactly? Sounds like she’s forged a good career and raised his children all on her own while he was elsewhere, whining.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like SHE should divorce you. You are TRASH.

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP!

You deserve so much better. And while it may be rough for a while, I can promise you’ll be much happier once the divorce is done.

Your spouse is a materialistic, nasty, evil, malcontent; in a word: toxic.

Best of luck to you sir.

[Anonymous]

OP, get a divorce.

My friend divorced her Foreign service spouse and has been so much happier. He married a young international who wanted US citizenship and money. Win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your wife sounds like she is very ungrateful and even possibly depressed.

I agree w/you, that you two need to get a divorce.

Sounds like you are a much better person when she is not around.

Good luck.

Uh. What does she have to be grateful for, exactly? Sounds like she’s forged a good career and raised his children all on her own while he was elsewhere, whining.

1. Roof over her head
2. That I didby divorce her ten years ago after she was arrested and I found out she was cheating.
3. For keeping her out of jail - twice - when her bad behavior involved law enforcement.
4. For putting my children through college.
5. For supporting her through grass school.

We all have things we can be grateful for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say divorce. Any women who HAS to have a $4000 purse on 400k HHI sounds like a piece of work.

Sounds like she could afford it herself.